Salvation
by Miriellar
Summary: A young woman on the verge suicide is brought to MiddleEarth and with a little help she finds that there are some things that make life worth living. Warning! Depression and selfharm. Some say it's a MS some say not make up your own mind. COMPLETE
1. A lost cause

Disclaimer- I don't own LotR. I don't really own anything. If you recognize it- I don't own it!!!

~~~~~~~~

The quiet was really starting to annoy her. She could hear the clock downstairs ticking and if she listened hard enough she could hear the quiet breathing of her parents and her siblings as they slept down the hall.

Shaking her head she carefully walked over to her desk. Opening the desk would be easy, but finding the key was another matter altogether. Finally after nearly half an hour of searching through various boxes and drawers she found it lodged in between two of her favorite sets of books- The Vampire Chronicles and The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Although if she had to pick her favorite, the Lord of the Rings would win hands down every time. Even she had to admit- she was slightly obsessed with the Lord of the Rings. Pictures and posters had been carefully put into binders and her precious books and DVD's had pride of place on her shelf. The Elves were her favorite. They were beautiful, graceful, peace loving but if necessary they were magnificent warriors. 

The lock clicked as she opened the drawer. She closed her eyes as she opened it. It was just a drawer-right? Yes, on one hand it was drawer, but on the other hand it was the keeper of her darkest secret. With shaking hands she took the box and ran to her bed. She just sat there looking at it. 

Hurt, Pain and Sadness flashed through her. Finally with determination she pulled up the left sleeve of her jumper. From her wrist to her elbow multiple scars could be seen. Some could be seen clearly and were only a few hours or days old. But some were white and could only be seen if they were looked at closely. The box that she both loved and hated contained various razor blades and knives that she used day after day without fail.

Picking up a randomly selected razor she brought it to her wrist. There was pain, but only for a few seconds. She cut and cut, deeper and deeper until there was no untouched skin visible. Unable to stop herself she lifted up her other sleeve and proceeded to do the same to her right arm. It was a little more difficult but she soon got the hang of it. She began to feel nauseous and sweat began to bead on her forehead. She looked down in wonder, the blood was running down her arms in small rivers. 

~~~

I can remember the first time that I did this. It was my 13th birthday- and he'd forgotten. Lucky for me, mum had taken me out the day before. We went shopping and we did everything that a mother and daughter were supposed to do, laughed at ridiculous fashions, gotten manicures and boy did we spend. Thank god for credit cards. 

Dad had come in from work shouting about how he'd had a stressful day. I could feel my blood boil at that. My day hadn't exactly been fabulous either. I'd been late for school, forgotten all my homework and my gym kit and to top it off I'd been given two hours of detention to do the following evening.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. Quickly I threw my bag into the wardrobe and pulled on a pair of jeans, just as I was pulling on a T-shirt my door opened and my dad's head popped through, 

"You dressed?" 

"Yeah dad- what's up?" 

He didn't answer me, instead he came into the room shutting the door behind him. He looked at me with a glint in his eyes. There was something different about him. Before I could do anything he strode across the room and pinned me to the wall. I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he held my face to his.

"Listen to me you good for nothing little bitch. I had a little talk with your mother this morning and it seems that you two have been, shall we say…taking me for a ride. Spending my money, eating my food and what do I get? Nothing! Why can't you be like your brother and sister hmm? They're good kids. I'm ashamed to call you my daughter!'

He sharply jabbed me in the stomach, it hurt and I couldn't breathe. He used this opportunity to his advantage and backhanded me sending me to the ground. He took of his belt and he brought it down on my back- this went on for about 20 minutes. By that time my shirt was in shreds and my back felt like it was on fire. 

"Don't tell your brother or sister- if you do next time I'll make it worse. And I wouldn't bother telling your whore of a mother either- she's already been dealt with"

And with that, he left the room. That happened at least once a week for two years, until I took control.

I was in the shower trying to get all of the blood out of my hair when it occurred to me. I took the razor from the shelf and looked at it. Without really thinking about it I brought it across my forearm. The pain was delicious. I could no longer feel the stinging of my scalp and my back. Watching the blood run down my arm and down the plug hole was like watching all the hurt that I had felt and the feeling of betrayal and sadness wash away. And I was hooked. It became a part of my everyday routine. Sure it hurt, but for those few minutes I was numb and I didn't have to think about anything.

Slowly the beatings got worse and it soon became almost unbearable. The agony and fear I have lived with, if only I could stop it all. Suicide had become an option.

~~~

Black spots were beginning to appear in front of my eyes, I felt exhausted. 'I'll close my eyes that'll make me feel better'. As I was thinking, a bright light appeared at the foot of my bed and out of stepped a woman. 'I'm dying, I've heard of this happening to people before they die. But where's the tunnel? Oh no, I haven't fed the cat or taken my library books back', a torrent of ridiculous thoughts ran through my head. 

My eyes were heavy and I was longing to close them. They were beginning to itch with effort of keeping them open. I could feel the blood pouring down my arms and pooling on the lavender bed spread beneath me, at least I won't have to wash them. The forgotten razor lay innocently on the pillow next to me.

She was tall and graceful, she walked with a certain poise and regality. Her long, golden hair shone as did her white beaded dress. But her eyes- they looked as if they held the stars and they were as blue as the ocean. 

"Child, you soul aches. Rest now and do not worry for we shall meet on the other side". 

Her voice was melodious and it lulled me to sleep. I closed my eyes for the last time, the last thing that I saw was the moon outside my window.


	2. This isn't heaven

Disclaimer- I own nothing. If you recognize it, it's not mine.

* * *

I woke up and there was…wait a minute. I woke up. That wasn't supposed to happen. I quickly back-tracked my last memories. The razor, the blood, the darkness...the woman. She said something, something about sides and meetings. Oh well, I'll think about it later.

I lay there thinking, I don't know why but I had a strange sense of numbness. I couldn't feel anything.

The thought of looking at my surroundings hadn't even crossed my mind until now. Slowly I looked around. Trees- does heaven have trees? Am I even in heaven? Where am I? That's it, that's all there were-trees.

"Ok, so we've established that there are trees…this is so stupid, great now I'm talking to myself, I'm hungry and I'm really really cold"

I looked down at myself to see that I was still dressed in the same clothes that I was yesterday- my favourite black pants that were just a little bit too big for me, a white long-sleeved shirt- complete with blood stains-under a plain black jumper, and my black knee-length stiletto boots.

"Oh yeah this is a very practical outfit for walking around the woods in"

I muttered underneath my breath. I looked at my arms they were still bleeding,

"Great just bloody perfect, I need a stream, or better yet a rest room"

I turned around sharply and landed on the floor with an 'oomph'.

"Ow son-of-a…ow. That hurt"

I looked around only to see that I'd fallen over my rucksack. "

I don't remember packing that, oh who cares.

I didn't even bother to open it and see what was in it. There could have been a bomb in it for all I could care.

"Right, let's go find a stream"

The air felt strange, it was clear, clearer then I was used to. The smell of the forest was making me dizzy, although that could have been the blood loss, I hear that bloods pretty important.

I could feel my legs slowly turning to jelly and my vision was messing with me.

I was beginning to panic, the world around me wasn't the world that I'd gone to sleep in, maybe I was in Canada, they have a lot of trees…I think.

I was annoying.

Why did I wear heels, my shoes kept sticking in the grass, wow I never thought I'd say it but, I should've listened to my mum when she told me not to wear them- but in my defence I didn't know that I was going to end up in the woods/heaven/anywhere.

"I'm bored, talking to myself is now boring…I know lets sing me a song"

Normally I'd sing very quietly but as there was no one around so I wasn't really worried.

---

The air was thick, I could sense that something was amiss. Orcs, perhaps? No, they couldn't be this close to Imladris, the guards would have found them by now. But yet there was something.

I looked forward to seeing Imladris, it had been so long since I had bathed in it's sunlight and talked with it's residents. The sunlight broke through the trees and lit the path. It was so different from home. A refreshing and welcome change.

"Your highness, do you hear that?"

One of my companions asked. I listened carefully. A voice, singing, it sounded female. I'd been too wrapped up in my thoughts too hear anything.

"Shall we ride on?"

He asked me.

"Yes, but until we know anything she shall be treated as a friend. Do not draw your weapons"

I kicked my horse into a slow gallop and the rest followed suit.

We quickly found her. She was now walking silently and looked as if she was in deep thought. I took my time in looking at her, firstly to make sure that she was of no threat and secondly to see what I could make of her.

She looked up and saw us, it looked as if she was torn between staying and fleeing.

---

I was bored, my feet hurt and I still hadn't found a rest room or a stream.

I was in the middle of internally debating whether to just give up or seeing if I could find somewhere to say, my credit card was in my pocket so I could afford it, when I could feel eyes on me.

I slowly raised my head and what I saw wasn't what I would've expected to see.

There were three men, on gorgeous horses. I forced myself to look at the riders. I was very confused, I had died, I was supposed to be in heaven, wasn't I? I don't think that they ride horses around heaven- they'd just fall through the clouds- I was torn between mentally laughing at that and kicking myself for being stupid.

While I was mentally discussing heaven I'd failed to notice that the riders had dismounted and were now stood in front on me.


	3. Discovery

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!

~~~~~~~~

She seemed to be very distracted by something so we decided to dismount and greet her. When we stood in front of her it took a few moments for her to notice us. 

She looked human so I decided to talk to her in the common tongue. 

"Hello" 

She looked at me and very quickly she locked her hands behind her back.

"Umm hi, umm you wouldn't happen to know where we are would you?" 

She asked us very softly, she wouldn't even look at us. It was as if she was afraid of us.

"You are near the boarders of Imladris or Rivendell in the common tongue my Lady" 

At this her head shot up as if she had been startled,

"Rivendell, as in Lord Elrond's Rivendell?" 

She asked rather shakily,

"You know of Imladris?"

"Yes. Umm who are you?"

"My name is Legolas son of Thranduil, and these are my companions Huor and Gildor. May I enquire of your name my Lady?"

~~~

I was shaking, I couldn't meet their eyes. I was suddenly very aware of my awful appearance, I was filthy and until now I hadn't realized that the blood was still dripping down my arms.

Oh my Goddess I'm in Middle-Earth. How did this happen- don't panic and he's Legolas Greenleaf of the fellowship of the nine. I decided that it would be better to keep my knowledge of anything under wraps.

I could feel my body start to gently sway and my legs were going to fall out from under me. There were spots in my vision. 

He was stood waiting for my name, 

"Thalia, my names Thalia" 

Then I collapsed. 

~~~

I could see her body start to sway and she was on the verge of collapse. She told me her name and promptly keeled over, I caught her in my arms before she made it half way to the ground.

"Your Highness" 

Gildor gasped.

I looked at her and to my shock her shirt sleeves were soaked in blood. Quickly I took off her outer clothing and started to unbutton her inner shirt. Elves were not embarrassed by their bodies so that was not an obstacle. I could see no way of removing her shirt without damaging her wounds. I carefully used a knife to remove the material. As we cleaned her arms it became evident that she had not been attacked. She had done this at her own hand and for a while it seemed. Numerous white and pink scars lined not only her arms but her torso as well, from under her breasts to just above her waist. A tear rolled down my cheek as a wrapped the bandages around her arms. Self mutilation had been heard of among the Edain but it was very rare that an elf would resort to such methods.

Finally we had done all we could for her, Lord Elrond was a skilled healer and would be able to do a better job than I.

~

Carefully he handed her to Gildor and mounted his horse. Settling her in front of him with one of his arms around her shoulder and one on her stomach he grasped the reigns and left for the safety of Imladris.


	4. Waking

Disclaimer- I own nothing, if you recognize it- I don't own it!!!

Black-Dragon2005- I'm glad you like it, this is my first ever story and I hope you'll keep reading.

Wicklowe- Thanks for your review. Your points have been welcomed and been taken into consideration. 

Lemonly- Thalia's depression will take on new levels through the story. I am writing her personal story using my own experiences. I know how it feels to be in that state of mind and hopefully that should allow me to write a realistic story. And rest assured her problems will not be solved by a hug and a kiss from Legolas- if only life could be like that. 

Constructive criticism will always be welcome.

~~~~~~~~

It was too hot, without opening my eyes I turned onto my side and kicked the covers off. What time was it- did I actually care? No, I decided that I was way too comfortable to care. I brought my arms up to rest underneath my head. They were wrapped in something. I didn't remember putting on a sweatshirt last night. I could clearly remember cutting, although I wasn't too sure that it was an actual memory or a mixture of memories that my brain had taken and made into a memory- goddess I babble when I'm tired. I could hear the birds chirping and decided that I'd better get up and feed the cat before she starved. Slowly I sat up and stretched. Then I opened my eyes. There was a tree coming through the wall in my room, which was wrong. There were no trees in our garden. 'Ok this isn't my room', I looked up at the ceiling. There was a mural of a mother and child painted on the ceiling. That made me smile. In the corner stood a small table that held a vase of white and red roses. Wait a minute how did I get here. It took a while but it came to me eventually- trees, horses, Legolas. Oh shit- he must have brought me here, but wouldn't that make here Lord Elrond's home? Before I could get any further the intense stinging in my arms forced me to look down. Well at least I was right- I hadn't put a sweatshirt on. My arms had been wrapped in soft linen bandages and in places blood had seeped through. 

I felt the blood drain from my face. I had never told anybody about my cutting. Not even my closest friends. Legolas must know, but whom else? I could feel all the pain and despair and the uncontrollable guilt rush back into my body in a tidal wave.

It was a secret, it had been a secret for so long. It was my secret to keep. My head began to thump and my heart was pounding in my chest. A door, there was a door. I fell rather than got out of bed and crawled over to it. I turned the knob, hoping to find a bathroom. And to my great joy and relief, it was a bathroom. In one corner stood a toilet and in the other a small wash basin. And in the middle of the room a large bath had been built into the floor, very nice.

Unable to think clearly I crawled over to the wash basin and sat indian style on the floor. Cautiously I began to unwrap the bandages. I hated what I did but I couldn't stop it. As the fresh wounds came into view I could feel bile rise up in my throat, my vision became blurry with tears and my hands were shaking. I didn't want to see what I'd done. But I had too. The relief of seeing the results of the control that I had brought upon myself was very quickly being overridden by the intense guilt and panic that was now flooding every inch of me. What was I going to tell people? I can't tell them the truth. They'll think I'm a monster or an attention seeker or something. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. Abandoning my task I broke down, the tears were running freely down my face and my body was trembling with the effort of trying to hold at least some of it in. I gave up and collapsed, sobbing on the floor.

~~~

The sun was still low as I left the archery field. I had woken up early and had decided to practice a little before going to see Lady Thalia. I knew humans did not like to be awoken too early.

"Legolas!" 

I turned around and stood still as Lord Elrond approached me. 

"Legolas, do you have a moment?" 

I nodded

"I wish to speak to you about your recent discovery, the Lady Thalia. Her physical wounds will heal in less than a week. But there are deeper wounds which will be much harder to find, and even if they were found I am not certain that she can be healed. Her soul has been broken and she is giving up. It is up to her whether she survives this or not"

"But she can be healed? If she wishes it?"

"Yes, but you must remember Legolas, that she may not wish it. It would appear that she has been through more than we can imagine. When she wakes, do not push her, do not force her speak. You must speak to her carefully but where you can, treat her as you would any other" 

I nodded, thoughts were whirling round my head. She must want to heal. She had to, I couldn't imagine wanting to live like that. I would rather kill myself than live in misery. My heart stopped in my chest as I thought about that. She wouldn't kill herself would she? No, she couldn't. But even as I tried to reassure myself I could feel it sinking into the very depths of my soul. I hardly knew this girl, yet there was something that drew me to her.

"Come, we will see if she is awake. I have no doubt that she will have questions that she will want answering"

We walked in silence. It wasn't until we had stopped outside her door that I realized her room was next door to mine. Elrond must have noticed my questioning gaze,

"Your rooms are next to each other because so far you are the only person that she has met"

I nodded, that seemed like a wise thing to do. He opened the door quietly so as not to disturb her if she was sleeping. However the bed was empty. 

"Legolas"

Elrond shouted from the washroom. I hastily waked to the door and I was aghast at the scene before me. Thalia was laying face down on the floor, her silver hair was spread about her face, and her startling blue eyes open but not seeing. She was breathing but unaware of her surroundings. Elrond took her by the shoulders and sat her up, her upper body resting on his. He looked down at her arms and frowned, she had started to remove the bandages on her left arm. They were dreadful. Her skin was red and not a patch had been left unmarred.

Elrond motioned for me to lift her and take her back into her room. With extreme care I took her and laid her back on the bed, my hand held hers as if somehow this gesture would wake her. 

I looked at her face, her sculpted cheekbones, her rose colored lips parted slightly, her eyes were now closed in sleep. I couldn't remember when they had closed. I remembered the feeling of her soft body against mine as we rode here and the smell of vanilla and magnolia from her silky hair.

I sat at her bedside for another hour before she finally awoke. She opened her eyes and looked around. She realized that her hand was trapped. Turning her head she looked down at her hand to see that it was entwined with mine. Her gaze followed my hand, up my arm and to my face. She smiled at me, recognition clearly shining in her eyes.

We turned our heads as the door opened and Elrond walked in. I felt her tense and her fingers gripped mine. As he stepped towards us Thalia shifted her body to the opposite edge of the bed. She was growing more agitated by the minute.

"Welcome to Rivendell Lady Thalia" 

At that she let go of my hand and with wide fearful eyes she bolted passed him and ran from the room. Without even looking at him I ran after her.


	5. Safe

Disclaimer- I don't own any of it!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed and as always constructive criticism is welcomed.

~~~~~~~~

I didn't know where I was going, I just let my feet do the moving. I ran down the many corridors until at last I saw a way out. I sped up until finally my feet were on the cool grass and I stopped. I spotted a tree, it was a weeping Willow. They were my favorite, for two reasons. One- for some reason they always reminded me of the type of trees that fairies would come out and dance under in the stories. And two- they make me think of winter. I don't know why. But nonetheless I've always found them beautiful. 

As I sat under its protective leaves I could think of nothing but him. His voice was kind, 'but so was his', and he radiated power. I could feel his presence pulsing about the room. But it was a different kind of presence. 'No it wasn't, he's just like him'. My heart was thundering in my chest, I could feel the dread seep through every pore in my body. He was coming for me. No he couldn't be. I'm dead and in Middle-Earth, there's no way he could find me. 'Oh yes there is, do you doubt him. Don't be so foolish girl. You underestimate him. He's your father. He can do what he wishes, he told you so'. Could he, could he find me? 

My arms were itching and I could feel the tension building in the pit of my stomach. I had to do it and quickly, if I didn't I was going to explode. I re-traced my steps carefully- I didn't even remember tracing them the first time. 

Finally I reached my room. Rushing through the door I set about trying to find my rucksack. Surely they were some in there, I wouldn't ever leave the house without making sure that I had a razor with me. It took me 40 minutes of frantic searching before I finally found my bag. Somebody had stashed it at the back of my wardrobe.

My arms were on fire and there were tears threatening to fall. Despite my blurry vision I tipped the contents of my rucksack onto the floor and searched through everything. There it was, a bright yellow packet of brand new razors. I still didn't remember packing anything. I didn't move a muscle, I stood there like an idiot. My arms were burning, the bile was rising in my throat, the familiar pangs of guilt were already knawing at me and the tears were falling.

Grabbing the packet I ran to the bathroom and shut the door. Without Hesitation I pulled up the skirt of my night-dress. I had only just come to realize that I had been running around Rivendell in nothing but my night-dress. 

My legs weren't as badly scarred as I usually cut my arms, but right now my arms weren't an option so my legs would have to do. As I drew the razor across I felt nothing but bliss. Watching the blood seep out of me and bubbling on my skin was like letting out all my feelings and watching them collect into a neat package that would just disappear along with the blood as it flowed down my leg. Instead, unlike the blood, the feelings wouldn't disappear. They would come back the next day and the day after that. 

I carefully took a wash rag and cleaned my leg. The sharp pain was there but I could live with it. I felt exhausted.

Getting up from the floor I opened the door to find something I did not expect.

~~~

She opened the door and stood still, her eyes locked on my form. Currently I was stretched out on her bed, my head was resting on my arms, and I could smell her scent still clinging to her pillows.

She nervously licked her lips and shut the bathroom door. She walked towards me carefully. She was weighing me up, trying to find something that would allow her to turn me away. Our eyes locked. She had decided that she could trust me for now. I motioned for her to sit next to me. We stayed like that for a while, in a comfortable silence. 

"Thalia," I had to ask her. 

"Why did you run from Lord Elrond?" she looked alarmed by my question.

"Legolas…I…I", 

She started but could not finish. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears and her face was marked with the tell tale signs of previous tears.

I said nothing and I did not ask her to continue. Seeing her distress I sat up and opened my arms to her.

She looked at me and chewed her lip in deep thought. Then with a childlike quality she crawled into my lap. Her slender hands gripped my tunic tightly as if she was afraid that I would leave.

I could feel a wet patch start to spread on my shoulder. She was crying. I didn't tell her to stop. Instead I stroked her back in soothing circles and began to rock her back and forth. Her form seemed to melt into mine and within minutes she was asleep.

I looked down at her sleeping face. She looked peaceful. With her still safe in my arms I laid down. There was no way that she was going to allow me to leave, even in sleep her hands gripped my tunic. 

~~~

I was warm and comfortable. I could feel strong arms locked around me, holding me in a protective embrace. Legolas, I'd fallen asleep. I hope he doesn't mind. I looked at his face. His handsome chiseled features were relaxed in sleep and his eyes were open but glazed in elven dreams. He was angelic to look upon and he had a heart to match. I shifted further into his arms and felt his arms tighten around me. I slowly fell back into the world of dreams, feeling safe and secure for the first time in five years.


	6. Nightmares

Disclaimer- I don't own anything. If you recognize it, it's not mine!

Wicklowe- * authoress stand up with her hand on her hips* are you ever happy. Oh I'm only kidding, your points are welcomed and considered, thank you.

Keep reviewing everybody, the faster you review- the faster I can churn out chapters.

[ ] anything in these brackets is a dream.

~~~~~~~~

Two weeks had passed since I had let Legolas past one of my mental barriers. We had become almost inseparable. We would eat together and go out riding and he had patiently been trying to teach me archery. Trying being the operative word. I was hopeless, so far the arrow had not made it more than a few feet in front of me.

He was doing everything he could to make me feel happy and at home. But there are some things that he can't help me with, no one can help me. They don't go away, they're always there taunting me. I suppose thoughts aren't something that you can't just turn on and off at will- or at least I can't. 

The nights were the worst. 

Every day after dinner I would do the same thing. I'd take a long bath, after discovering that Legolas liked the smell of my hair I had asked one of the maids if she could get me some vanilla shampoo. The poor maid nearly had a heart attack. I laughed out loud at the memory. I hardly spoke to anyone but Legolas. Well, I had spoken to Glorfindel and Erestor. They were nice, Glorfindel had promised to teach me everything about Middle-earth and Erestor had promised to teach me how to read the elvish script. 

I had totally avoided Elrond, even at dinner I sat as far away from him as I could. He reminded me of my father. Not in appearance but just in the way he acted. Elrond seemed rather aloof and strict and he was powerful, I could feel it radiating off of him in great waves. It sent shivers up my spine and dread filled me.

After my bath I would sit on the floor and examine the many scars my thighs. My arms had healed but I didn't want to take the risk of anyone finding out about what I was doing. 

I would draw the razor over my skin until I felt satisfied. After I had cleaned up I would put on my night-dress and stand and stare at my awful appearance, which was always the same- I was pale and there were rings under my eyes. 

The guilt would have wrapped around my heart and all the feelings of despair and pain and anger and guilt that could be squashed down during the day would come back. And my ever present thoughts of suicide and 'relief' could be pushed away. The suns rays seemed to reach into my body and help me push away everything, and for a few hours I could 'relax'.

After I had brushed my hair and put it into one single braid, I would go into my room where I knew Legolas would be waiting for me.

Since the first night that I had fallen asleep in his arms. We slept together. He knew I wanted comfort and he was there for me. I haven't told him, but I need him at night. I need to know where he is, just in case I wake up. I knew he knew something, but he never questioned me. He just accepted it, he knew that I would tell him in time. But would I, could I trust him? The last person I trusted beat me. 

I looked out at the moon as I closed the drapes. The moon was the last thing that I remembered seeing before I died. I didn't want to think about it.

Legolas had told me that Lord Elrond had arranged for both of us to travel to Lothlorien. I couldn't remember why or when we were supposed to leave. I could feel the panic begin to rise as I thought about leaving Rivendell. I felt safe in Rivendell. The thought of traveling to a new place and having to face new people was terrifying.

Shaking my head I snuffed out the candles and climbed into bed beside Legolas. He didn't wear a shirt to bed- that made sense but he always wore a loose pair of leggings, they reminded me of the yoga pants that people would wear back home. 

I snuggled into his bare chest as he wrapped his arms around me. His loose hair covered the pillow and flowed over my shoulder, he smelled like cinnamon. He drew the covers up to our necks, whispered his goodnight and kissed my forehead as he did every night. It sounded silly but it was now mandatory or I couldn't sleep. 

At night the demons came back, it didn't matter whether I was awake or asleep. I could hear my father's voice shouting at me and telling me that I was a waste, a whore and a bitch. I could almost feel the sharp, painful kicks in my side and the sound and feeling of his leather belt on my bare back.

I could feel the tears gather at the corner of my eyes. I wouldn't cry, I couldn't let him see me like that again. 

I closed my eyes and I slept.

[*Bang!* I looked up from my computer just in time to see a fist coming toward me. On instinct I ducked.

"Bitch, what did I tell you about moving when I'M BUSY!" 

I lay still, my body tense, waiting for his next move. I could hear the clatter of metal as he unbuckled his belt, and then came the slap of leather against leather as he folded it and snapped it together. He leaned down and roughly pulled me up by my hair.

"Take off your shirt".

I took it off as quickly I could, not wanting to incur anymore of his wrath than I already had. I stood there facing my wall. My palms were flat against the wall, bracing my body for the blow.

*SMACK!*

The first slap came down, opening old wounds and making new ones. Fire shot up my spine as he brought it down time after time. I could hear his laboured breathing. 

He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around to face him. Before I could register it, my torn back was against the wall and his large hands were at my throat.

"I could kill you right now. Do you think anyone would miss you?…answer me!"

With a large amount of effort I shook my head, which was the response he wanted. One of his hands left my neck and clasped my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes. His other hand squeezed my throat tighter. ]

~~~

My eyes came into focus as soon as I heard Thalia struggling. Her body was still but her face was creased as if she was in pain, tears were flowing from her closed eyes, she was quietly sobbing.

"Thalia, wake up", 

I whispered in her ear, I remembered Lord Elrond telling me that waking someone by shouting at them would only alarm them. She didn't move. I tried again and still she didn't move. 

Her eyes flew open and she sat bolt upright, she closed her eyes and focused on getting her breath back. She brought her knees up to her chest and laid her head on them. The tears were sliding down her face. She still hadn't noticed me. When she had managed to get her breathing under control, she opened her eyes. Her blue orbs locked on me and for a minute she looked as if she was terrified of me. She looked away, gingerly she placed her hands on her throat. She let out a breath and relaxed.

"Thalia", 

She looked up and silently regarded me. Then she got up and raced to the bathroom. She slammed the door shut and I heard the lock click. I didn't know what was wrong and I didn't want to force her to tell me. 

"Thalia, I'm going to go and get dressed, then I'll get some breakfast and we'll eat here," 

I told her through the door. There was no answer. I was disappointed. She was pushing me away. I knew that this had to happen some time, but I wasn't ready for it, but then again would I ever be ready? 

~~~

I had heard him talking to me, but I hadn't processed the words. I had run from him. I had run from Legolas. The one person I knew I could trust. I could trust him. Part of me knew that, but I couldn't face the threat of betrayal. Not again. 

The dream had been so real, I could still feel my back stinging and his fingers around my throat. 

I was overcome by everything. My head throbbed and my eyes were stinging. I had made a big mistake, I wasn't deserving of his help and attention. I did the only thing that I could, I reached for my razor. 

~~~

It only took me a few minutes to dress and braid my hair. I looked at my reflection. She was hurting and suffering and I couldn't do a thing to help her. I could feel her grief and pain within my own heart and I longed to aid her. I was doing everything that I thought I could do to support and comfort her. She dreamt of ill things at night, she didn't know it and if she did she didn't say anything. I would wake up at her slightest utterance, and watch her sleep. Sometimes I'd sing to her, that helped and within minutes she was sleeping peacefully again. Sometimes all I had to do was enfold her in my arms and she would burrow down into my chest. 

I'd been too wrapped up in my thoughts to realize that I had reached the kitchens. The cook nodded at me in acknowledgement as I gathered fruits and bread on a tray. After gathering all I needed I said my thanks and left. 

We were leaving for Lothlorien. I had told Thalia about it but judging by the distracted look on her face she hadn't heard any of what I'd said. She still refused to be anywhere near Lord Elrond, I hoped that she would be more comfortable in the presence of Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. Lord Elrond was right, her soul was giving up and she was beginning to withdraw. She was a closed book, a mystery. I realized that in spite of the amount of time that we had spent together I knew very little about her. That was something I fully intended to remedy during our trip. 


	7. Confusion

Disclaimer- I don't own anything, if you recognize it I don't own it!

Once again- A big thank you to all who have reviewed

~~~~~~~~

I left the bathroom to find that a maid had already made the bed and laid some clothes out for me. A riding dress? Was I going somewhere?

I dressed quickly and without leaving a note for Legolas, went in search of Glorfindel. Besides Legolas, Glorfindel was the only one I could really talk to. I rounded the corner and knocked on Glorfindel's study door. There was no answer. I looked everywhere, the dinning hall, the gardens, the stables, the training grounds. I gave up and decided to head back to my room.

"Wait, Thalia do you have a moment?" I whirled around to face whoever it was. 

"Glorfindel! Where the hell have you been? I've just spent the past hour searching for you!"

"I'm sorry, I was busy packing for the journey. Have you got everything you need? Remember to make sure that you have a spare blanket and a spare pair of boots."

"Hold up! What are you babbling about?" Luckily he'd grown used to my way of speaking and he no longer minded.

"The journey to Lothlorien. Didn't Legolas tell you?"

"Oh, umm, yeah he told me, but I wasn't listening." He raised one eyebrow at me and shook his head.

"Go and pack everything that you think you'll need for the next month, I'll come by your room later and make sure your ready." 

I nodded. I didn't move I just stood there. 

There was a picture on the wall behind Glorfindel. It was a portrait of Arwen, I remembered Elrohir showing it to me, the pride had been evident in his voice. He was quite the artist. I had only met the twins once, but I liked them. They weren't anything like their father. Elrohir was quieter than Elladan, and more serious, whereas Elladan was mischievous and fun loving. When they were together they were a force to be reckoned with. I thought back to the night that they had stolen Erestor's clothes and swapped them for dresses. Erestor had barged into the dinning hall with a murderous look upon his face and a pile of dresses in the other. It still made me laugh.

I hadn't yet met Arwen, she was in Lothlorien. Maybe I'd meet her there.

"What is it pen-neth?" he asked, using his favorites pet name for me. I didn't answer him.

"So, you two have fallen out?"

"Am I that transparent?"

"Yes".

"Well, no. Not fallen out as such. I didn't even speak to him to fall out with him," Ugh I was babbling and making no sense. 

"What happened?"

I told him about the dream. Of course I didn't tell him that that had actually happened. And I told him what I had done to Legolas. I hadn't told him anything about my life, but I think he understood what I was feeling.

"I know you're scared Thalia, and I know that it's hard for you to trust anyone. Legolas loves you. You're his best friend and he only wants to help you. Do you honestly think he'd intentionally hurt you?"

Did I? No I didn't. There were warning bells going off in my head and there was sick feeling in my stomach. But as corny as it sounds, I did trust him. 

"No. He wouldn't"…'but he might not do it intentionally, he might just decide that he's fed up of me. What if I talked to him and told him everything and he decided that I'm a monster or a nutcase and he wanted nothing more to do with me?' I couldn't say the last bit out loud. I didn't have the guts to tell Glorfindel anything either.

He didn't say anything, he just smiled. He walked towards me and gave me a hug. "Trust your heart pen-neth". 

I watched his retreating back with a frown on my face . I was worthy of Legolas' attention. Wasn't I? Glorfindel seemed to think so. I could trust that.

I waked back to room to pack with a smile on my face. I was going to be nice to Legolas. He didn't deserve my anger or mistrust. Especially when he didn't know why. That was something I was going to work on. I was going to tell him everything, regardless…one day. I just had to work up the courage. 

I opened the door to see him standing on the balcony watching the elves bustle about down below. I couldn't talk to him yet. I walked straight over to my wardrobe and took out my rucksack. I still hadn't looked through it so I had no idea what was in it.

Once again I shook all the contents out onto the floor. 

"Hmm, 1 purple and pink striped jumper, a brown knee length skirt, 2 pairs of purple socks, my make-up bag, 1 hair clip, one magazine, a watch, and a jewellery box" I said aloud to no one in particular.

I sat back on my feet and opened the box. There was a small silver necklace, a couple of silver rings and few pairs of earrings. And at the bottom of it were a few photographs. I honestly hadn't thought about my family much. It hurt to think of them so I just didn't. I didn't miss home. I didn't miss the television blaring out at me or the radio chattering on in the background while I cleaned or something. I didn't miss my life. In fact the only thing I missed was chocolate. I was suffering from withdrawal symptoms on the chocolate front. Fortunately for me the elves made deliciously sweet desserts and they made up for my chocolate loss.

I stopped what I was doing and looked at my bag, I'd packed without realizing it. Cool! I didn't think I could do that. I didn't care what I'd packed. It'd have to do. The only thing that I had made sure I had was my packet of razors. 

Legolas was staring at me, I could feel his eyes boring a hole through my back. I forced myself to turn around and look at him. As I did, Glorfindel entered the room, he looked at Legolas then me,

"Are you ready to leave?"

I nodded and without looking at either of them I pushed past Glorfindel and left the room.

I was sat atop my horse waiting for Legolas to arrive. I had no idea what he was doing but whatever it was, it was making us wait. Elrond was looking at me. I had to force myself to look at him, I didn't like him but I was staying in his house and it was only courteous and respectful to at least look at him. 

My heart thundered in my chest, he smiled, I nearly fell off my horse in shock. I wasn't shocked that he'd smiled at me, I was shocked at my own reaction. For the first time since I'd met him I didn't feel threatened by him. His grey eyes were full of nothing but kindness and his smile held something that at that moment I couldn't fathom.

Middle-Earth was having a strange effect on me- I was beginning to see things differently and I was starting to let people past all my barriers. I wasn't sure whether I liked that or not.

I tore my eyes away from Elrond's as Legolas came though the doors with a bundle firmly tucked under his arm. I raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed, I hated waiting around and he was going to hear about it later.

A few hours later we stopped. Legolas started to make a fire and me and Glorfindel went to find some wood, and considering we were in a forest that wasn't hard.

"So, have you talked to him yet?"

"Huh, what?"

"You haven't have you?"

"Umm, no".

"Why not. You're ready to talk and he's willing to listen."

"Glorfindel! You don't need to tell me that! I already know it! But think about it, does he really need to sit and listen to me bitching about my awful life and my abusive father. Does he really need to know about what I do to myself?!" By this point I was stood right in front of him and I was sure that anyone within a 4 mile radius heard that. 

He looked at me, a mixture of shock and disbelief on his face.

"Did you mean that?" Boy was he blunt and to the point. SHIT! OH SHIT! In less than a minute I'd gone and shouted my mouth off and managed to spill the beans about my most closely guarded secrets.

"Err…umm never mind I didn't mean that…I was just…you know…I gotta go." I cringed, that sounded pathetic to my ears so he couldn't have been fooled by it. I Turned and ran. I didn't have any idea where I was going, I just moved- I was getting good at that.

I finally stopped when I saw a dim light shinning through the trees. I'd made it back to the camp in one piece. 

I was relieved to see that I had arrived back before Glorfindel had. There was one lone figure standing near the horses, Legolas. Oh dear Goddess, I don't know what I would have done if Glorfindel had told him. 

My palms were sweaty and I could feel the familiar feeling come over my body and completely engulf me. I walked back to camp and straight to my bag. And then I left again, I told Legolas that I needed to go to the 'toilet'. He smiled and nodded in acknowledgement.

I quickly found a clearing not to far away from the camp and sat down. Sweat was running down my face and my hands were shaking, I'd left it too long. My mind was crying out for release. I found the packet and pulled a new blade out. Lifting up my skirt I examined my thighs. There were too many cuts on them, I could remember reading somewhere, that you had to leave a cut for at least a week until you cut there again. Well it was something along those lines anyway.

I decided that I'd take a chance and use my shoulder. I discarded my jacket and looked at the untouched flesh. Touching the cool bade against my flushed skin sent a shiver up my spine. I did it, and once I started I couldn't stop. By the time I'd finished there were six new cuts. I leaned against the trunk of a tree, satisfied and exhausted.

"Thalia". Oh no someone was coming. I shoved the now blooded razor into my back and hastily threw on my jacket. I could feel the blood seep through the fabric. 

"Thalia where are you". 

I stood up, "I'm over here". Legolas stepped out of the shadows

"It's getting dark and there are wolves about. Are you ready to come back?"

"Yeah, sure". I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder- the wrong bloody shoulder!

I gasped and dropped it! It hurt like hell. Legolas looked alarmed, 

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing I've just pulled my shoulder that's all". I was lying through my teeth. Was he buying it?

He picked up my bag and instead of giving it back to me he put it onto his own shoulder. That majorly pissed me off. I can carry my own things.

"Legolas! What are you doing? Give that back!"

"No, your shoulder is injured and you need to rest it if you intend on riding tomorrow".

I could see his point. "No, give that back", he started walking away.

"Legolas dammit give me that back!"

"Thalia, I have told you time and time again that a lady should not use such foul language".

"It's a good thing I'm not a lady then isn't it!" I gave up, there was no way I was gonna win this fight. 

When we arrived back at the camp Glorfindel was busy cooking what looked like rabbit, my stomach turned. He looked up at me and I glared back at him. I was angry with him, I don't know why, I just was.

I waked over to my bed roll and collapsed.

"Thalia, dinners ready," I ignored him so he tried again…and again. Eventually he gave up and came over.

I felt his hand on my shoulder and I froze, he looked at his hand where liquid was glistening on it. Thankfully it was too dark for even elven eyes to spot the blood.

"Thalia, why is your shoulder wet?" 

"Oh, when I was in the forest I caught one of the branches and the water that had been collected on the leaves spilled on me", that was horrible, I felt awful for lying to him, again. 

He seemed to think about my explanation and decided that it plausible. 

"Thalia you have to eat", I shook my head. 'No I don't'.

"Please Thalia", every time he said my name I grimaced. I shook my head again.

"What's wrong?" I said nothing.

"Alright, I'll leave this here and if you get hungry you know where it is", he spoke softly to me, as if I was a child

"And you know where I am if you need me". I nodded. He bent down and kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight Legolas", he turned around and smiled at me.


	8. Discovery

Disclaimer- I own absolutely nothing! If you recognize it- it's not mine! 

Hopefully- the story will become a little lighter after this chapter, but I think that it's necessary to all of the character. I know this subject is a sensitive subject and I don't wish to offend anyone, but I am writing this as best I can- I want to deal with this subject and its attached emotions realistically. This is a subject that I have lived with for a while now and I know what it feels like- so once again I apologies for anything that anybody finds offensive.

~~~~~~~~

It was raining and the tension between the three of us could be cut with a knife. The past few weeks had been fairly uneventful. Thalia had been overjoyed when I gave her the package that I had brought with me from Rivendell. It contained her clothes from the day when I had found her, her clothes had been washed and her boots had been repaired. Her boots did not look very comfortable but she assured me that they were. Other than that we had hardly spoken. In fact she had stopped talking altogether. She had completely withdrawn from both myself and Glorfindel. 

She hardly ate and when she did she only ate small amounts. 

At night, and sometimes in the morning, she would disappear for half an hour. I presumed that she just needed a little space to herself- "traveling with two males can become very tedious after a while", she had explained. 

Despite what was going on we still kept to our nightly ritual. She would still dream of foul things and I would sing to her. 

Glorfindel was becoming very concerned for her welfare. 

It was nightfall and we stopped to make camp, I made a fire and Glorfindel went to find wood. I watched as Thalia retreated into the trees. 

I went after her. As an elf I walked with little or no sound but Thalia always seemed to know when there was somebody around. I followed her and watched as she looked around for something. She seemed to find what she was searching for. I watched as she changed direction. There was a large boulder up ahead. It was big enough to hide anyone who didn't want to be seen. She looked relived as she walked over to it and sat behind it so that I could no longer see her.

I moved around the rock and made sure that I was concealed by the thick trees. I carefully made my way to the other side. Within a few moments I had a clear view of her.

~~~

Finally I had some peace and quiet. About time to. My head was pounding, I leaned back against the cool rock and felt somewhat calmer, but the panic and the feelings didn't go away.

The further we got from Rivendell and the closer we got to Lothlorien, the more I wanted to cut. The panic was over-riding my senses and it was too much to handle. The only way to release it was by cutting. I reached over to my bag and tried to open it. I was failing miserably as my hands were sweating like mad and I couldn't get a grip on the zip. I heard a noise behind me, I listened for a second and dismissed it as an animal or something. Right now I wasn't aware of anything except the need to cut.

~~~

I watched as she fumbled with the, I think she calls it a zip, on her bag. But for some reason she couldn't get a grip on it. I could see the sheen of sweat on her forehead and her body was beginning to shake, was she ill? Humans could get ill very easily. She finally opened the bag and tipped everything out onto the ground. She looked panicked as she looked for something. She found it and a look of relief spread over her feature. It was a yellow packet of some sort, what was so special about it?

She reached her hand into it and took out a small white object. What was it? She looked both relieved and scared to see it. She put it down and fell back against the rock, I decided to make myself known.

"Thalia what are you doing?"

~~~

I looked up to see Legolas slowly making his way over to me. I sat up as fast as I could and shoved the razor back into my bag. Once I had made sure that it was safely tucked in there I went from panic to anger.

"Legolas, what the hell are you doing here? Did you follow me?" 

Did I want to know the answer to that? No, I didn't. I couldn't hang around and listen to him. The possibility of the answer being yes was enough to almost send me over the edge, he had stopped me before I could do anything and with this as well, I was ready to burst. I turned on my heel and ran as fast as I could back toward the camp.

I got halfway there when I realized that I'd left my things behind. I toyed with the idea of just leaving them, I would've but my only connection to my sanity was there. Very reluctantly I turned round and headed back.

~~~

I watched her reaction to my sudden appearance. Her eyes widened and she looked like a frightened animal. She hastily shoved the object that she held in her hand into her bag 

This done, her emotions rapidly changed. She became angry.

"Legolas, what are you doing here? Did you follow me?"

Her eyes locked on mine, hurt, sadness and anger flashed briefly in them before she turned and ran.

I turned my attention to the pile of her belongings on the ground. I started to pick them up and replace them. I lifted up a skirt and a small white object fell out from beneath the folds. It was identical to what she had been holding earlier.

I examined it very carefully. There was a long white handle on it and on the top of it was a rectangular bit with what looked like an orange cover. I removed the cover to reveal something which stunned me. I looked at the seemingly harmless object in disbelief. Connected to the top of it was a thin metal blade. It was coated in a thin layer of blood, her blood. Why? Had she done this recently? It examined it closely, I could tell by the color of it that this blood had only been there for a day or possibly even two. 

I thought about the day I'd found her. She looked so helpless and childlike. I found it hard to believe that she could do this to herself.

I had to talk to Glorfindel. What would he say, he would most likely be angry with her and himself. I was angry with myself. How long had this been going on? I should have seen it. I remembered the first night that we left Rivendell. Was the liquid on her shoulder water, or had it been blood? Thinking back there had been numerous signs, but I had been too foolish and too blind to realize.

I heard a sharp gasp. My head shot up. She was standing a few feet away, her hands covering her mouth. Her eyes were wide and sweat was rapidly starting to bead on her forehead.

I put my hand out to her, hoping that she'd come and sit with me.

She just looked at it. Tears were now making their way down her pale cheeks.

"Thalia, come and sit". I told her rather than asked her. She might respond better to me if I commanded her. Right now she was in no fit state to do anything of her own accord. Slowly, she began to walk toward me. She stretched out her hand toward me as is she was a blind woman and she couldn't find her way. She staggered over to me. Our fingers touched and I quickly wrapped my hand around her wrist. I gently pulled her down onto the grass so that she sat in front of me. She wouldn't look at me, instead she bowed her head and kept her eyes firmly fixed on the ground. The tears were running freely now. She wanted to run from me but a part of her wanted to stay, I could see it in her stance.

I didn't say anything. I lifted up her chin and made her look into my eyes. We didn't have to speak, she knew what I wanted, and I knew that she couldn't give it to me yet. 

She crawled into my lap, clutching my tunic in her trembling hands. Her body shook as she sobbed. She wrapped her hands around my neck and clung to me. In turn I wrapped my arms around her waist, silently letting her know that I wasn't going anywhere. 

We stayed like that for over an hour. She lay heavily against my chest with her eyes closed. 

I could hear Glorfindel approaching, looking for us. She opened her eyes and looked at me. 

"Could I tell Glorfindel or would you like me to keep it a secret?" I quietly asked her. I desperately wanted her to tell me that it was alright to tell Glorfindel. She knew that. Drowsily she nodded her head. She had given me her permission to tell him. 

"Glorfindel we're over here", I beckoned him over to us.

~~~

I hadn't been able to locate them until Legolas shouted. I walked around the boulder that stood in front of me. A distressing scene greeted me. 

Legolas was leaning on the boulder, with his arms tightly wrapped around Thalia.

Thalia looked terrible. She was seated on Legolas' lap with her legs tucked round his and her arms firmly locked around his neck. Her eyes were red and puffy and there were numerous tear tracks on her face. Her head was lying on his shoulder and she looked exhausted.

Legolas held a small white object up to me, I took it. It was some kind of blade, on it was blood, and was it her blood? I looked at Legolas and he nodded in answer to my silent question.

I felt anger well up inside me, tears gathered in my eyes. Legolas was crying silent tears. And he shook his head. He was right…now was not the time. 

He stood up with Thalia safely in his arms. I began picking all of her belongings up and putting them into her bag. Excluding the blade. I put that into my pocket. I don't know why, all I knew was that I wanted it with me, where I knew that she couldn't get it. 

We walked silently back to the camp. Neither I nor Legolas wanted to eat and Thalia was beyond anything.

I watched as Legolas lay down with her. He watched Thalia sleep. 

Neither of us was going to sleep this night. Thank the Valar that we would be in the Golden wood by noon tomorrow.


	9. Common problems

Disclaimer- I own nothing. If you recognise it- it's not mine!

Thanks to all of you who reviewed.

Leah- we share a common problem. I hope that you're ok- well you know what I mean.

Laura- thanks- glad you think so. I want to keep this story as realistic as possible.

Wicklowe- thank you once again.

* * *

My head was pounding. I was moving; or rather I was sat on something that was moving. I was leaning on something soft...Legolas; his unique smell lingered on the fabric. A pang shot through my heart as the memories of last night returned to me.  
  
I was in trouble, a lot of trouble.  
  
'What have I done'? They're going to hate me. 'Umm...make up a lie, they didn't see the scars so it can't be that hard to make up a believable lie can it?' my mind was working overtime.  
  
I felt the arms around me tighten and soft lips on my forehead. His hand stroked my hair soothingly; he knew I was awake.  
  
I opened my eyes and looked up at his face. The shame was overwhelming me and I could hardly bare to look at him. I glanced around and my eyes met those of Glorfindel. His usual stoic expression was gone and hurt and pain was clearly etched into his features.  
  
I turned my head away and buried it into Legolas' tunic. I felt safe but I didn't want to be here. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. Usually when I felt like crying, I would cut. But right now that wasn't an option.  
  
I didn't want to be awake; I didn't want to feel like this. My eyes felt heavy and I gave into sleep.  
  
---  
  
We met Lorien's marchwarden just outside its boarders.  
  
"Daro!" Haldir' s command drifted through the trees.  
  
"Haldir, come down here", Glorfindel shouted. "I am afraid that we cannot tarry for long. We must reach the city".  
  
Haldir dropped from a high branch and landed noiselessly in front of us. His eyes immediately went to Thalia's form in front of me. He arched an eyebrow in question. I didn't say anything and luckily he had picked up on the seriousness of our request to get to the city quickly.  
  
The journey to the city seemed to take so much longer than usual. This time I took no comfort in seeing the age-old trees or hearing the harmonious singing that normally would have eased my heart. Thalia still hadn't awoken and I was beginning to worry.  
  
The events of last night were continuously re-playing themselves in my mind and my heart wrenched as every time I saw her reaction. She looked terrified of me.  
  
I felt guilty, I had known what she had done and I had foolishly believed that she was happy. She seemed captivated by the elves, she had constantly asked questions and she never tired of hearing the stories of the elves. Her favourite was that of the man Beren and the elf-maiden Luthien.  
  
I had thought that she was content with her life. I had missed all of the many signs; she had been retiring early at night, she had become somewhat distant, and what of her fear of the other elves? Especially her inexplicable fear of Lord Elrond.  
  
We had reached the Lord and Lady's Talan. I turned to Haldir and carefully and with great regret I handed her to him. My body already missed her heat. She looked so small and frail in his arms. Her face was pale and there were still faint, silvery tear tracks on her face. She looked like a child.  
  
Haldir bowed to us and took his leave, Thalia safely within his arms.  
  
"She will be fine. Haldir will stay with her and he will not leave her". Glorfindel tried to reassure me, but his attempt fell on deaf ears. I worried for her.  
  
"Come, Legolas. We should not keep the Lord and Lady waiting for us".  
  
And with that we started up the many stairs that would lead us to the Lady's council. I was unaware of our purpose for being here and I hoped that the Lady had answers to our many questions.  
  
---  
  
When I woke up I was being carried. I didn't open my eyes. What was the point? I couldn't face the hurt and guilt that I knew would hit me as soon as I opened my eyes.  
  
I snuggled into the chest of the person that was carrying me. The fabric was different, it was slightly coarser and it was cooler against my skin. My eyes shot open and I found myself looking at the face of an unfamiliar elf. I stiffened in his arms and he looked down at me.  
  
At first glance he appeared stern and unyielding. But underneath his stoic expression were stunning blue-grey eyes that held nothing but concern. His full lips spread into a comforting smile and he bent down and whispered something in elvish. I started to feel sleepy again. He nodded his head and smiled as I closed my eyes.  
  
---  
  
Legolas handed Thalia to me. She felt so small and fragile. As I had listened to Legolas and Glorfindel tell me of her problem, I had come to the conclusion that I had to help her. I understood how she felt. She had told neither of them of her reasons for her self-mutilation. I hoped that if I showed her what I done, she would open up to me.  
  
After the death of my parents I had turned to a blade for comfort, it had not happened intentionally.  
  
I had run from the burial of my parents and had gone straight to the training room in the hopes of expelling some of my anger and frustration. I was paying no attention to anything, as I spared alone, not even myself. I had accidentally cut myself on the sharp edge of the blade. I sat down, shocked by my mistake, I never made mistakes. As I watched the crimson blood run down my arm I felt strangely satisfied. It was as if all my problems had left me along with the blood. But later that night the feelings came back. I managed to ignore it for a few days but it was fast becoming impossible. I turned to a blade every night after that. I continued to use a blade for over five hundred years.  
  
As I looked at her I could feel my raw emotions returning full force. I did not pity her. I felt only the deepest concern.  
  
She stirred as she awoke and buried her head into my chest. I wondered how long it would take for her to realize that it was not Legolas that was carrying her but an elf that she did not know. I felt her body stiffen and her eyes opened in surprise, they were bloodshot from her many tears. I waited for a moment until I felt her relax. She had accepted me. I smiled down at her and whispered an old elvish sleeping spell. She smiled for a moment as her eyes closed.  
  
Finally we reached the talan that was to be hers. I carefully opened the door and slipped into the elaborately decorated room. I moved the bed curtains out of the way and laid her down. She stirred as I removed her boots. I opened her wardrobe and selected a plain nightdress. It would be a while before she would wake and sleeping in her travelling clothes would not be very comfortable.  
  
I carefully went about removing her garments. As I took off her outer tunic hideous scars, much like my own, were revealed.  
  
"These were done with a knife, some with shards of glass", I whispered to myself. I could tell the difference. Glass was hard to use. Although it was sharp it was often only a single point and this makes it harder to draw across the skin, and the scar that it left behind was often jagged and thick.  
  
I lifted her upper body and rested it on my chest as I removed her shirt. There was a faint cut on her shoulder. I gasped as my eyes looked over her torso. All of her chest; save for her breasts were scarred. Scars or physical marks cannot measure pain, but it was obvious that she was in more pain than anybody could have guessed.  
  
I grabbed the nightdress and slipped it over body. Next was her skirt. As I slid the skirt down her legs fresh cuts were revealed. There were nine on her right thigh and eleven on her left. Did Legolas and Glorfindel know?  
  
She must have been desperate.  
  
I could feel tears flowing freely down my face. I could remember what it felt like to be so desperate. The fear of being caught was overwhelming and I had done everything I could think of to hide what I was doing. She had done the same. I had to help her. I was not going to inform Legolas and Glorfindel of her new cuts. I knew that if somebody had done that to me, it would have only made me cut more.  
  
No, I would wait, and talk to her.  
  
I lifted her up and with care put her into bed. She sighed and turned over onto her side.  
  
I walked over and retrieved a chair from the corned of the room. I kept watch over her through the night. As I had promised I would.  
  
Tomorrow, we were going to talk. 


	10. Understanding

Disclaimer- I own nothing at all. If you recognise it, it's not mine! Thanks for all your reviews.

* * *

Haldir sat by her beside all night. It was a quiet night; the only time that the peace had been disturbed was when Legolas and Glorfindel had stopped by to see if she was all right. The three of them had talked for a few hours. It appeared that the lady knew the answers to their questions, but was not going to give them. She had said only one thing,  
  
"Patience is the only key to this riddle. Wait and the answers you yearn for will be revealed".  
  
Due to the sleeping spell Thalia had not woken up as they sat around her bed talking. She seemed to sense their presence and looked peaceful.  
  
Legolas had offered to take over but Haldir was adamant that he would not move from the room. When asked why he had simply told them that all would be revealed in good time. To which Legolas and Glorfindel rolled their eyes and after kissing her brow, left Haldir alone with her once more.  
  
The sun had just risen as she opened her eyes. There was a beam of light that came through the window, and she could hear the cheerful chatter of the bird outside, yet she took no pleasure in either.  
  
The memories of the previous few days resurfaced and she felt her spirits drop. Everything came back.  
  
---  
  
The birds were annoying me and the sun was mocking me. I shut my eyes and rolled over. I was more comfortable now than I had felt since I had left Rivendell. I opened one eye and looked around. I was in a room, a very pretty room. How the hell did I get here? What was I wearing?  
  
"Hello".  
  
"Arghhhhhh. Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?"  
  
"Forgive me for startling you my Lady. My name is Haldir."  
  
"Oh...why are you here?"  
  
"I watched over you during the night".  
  
"Oh...you look familiar".  
  
"I carried you here last night".  
  
"Oh...ok. And I woke up and then you whispered something...yeah I remember". He nodded his head.  
  
Now I had to ask the question that I was dreading the most. Whoever changed my clothes must have seen my scars. It had to be either Legolas or Glorfindel...right?  
  
"Who changed my clothes"?  
  
"I did"  
  
I nearly fell off the bed. Shit! He'd seen my scars, and my cuts. The new cuts. Luckily the cuts on my shoulder had already more or less healed, I hadn't cut as deep as I thought I had, it had just bled a lot.  
  
"Thalia, we must talk", 'no we don't, we can just leave it'.  
  
"About what?" I decide to play dumb. He arched a delicate eyebrow at me.  
  
"Sit"  
  
He ordered me, 'I don't take orders from anyone', but of course me being the stupid one, sat down immediately. Mind you, I did need to sit down; as the panic had started to rise my legs had slowly turned to jelly. The blood pounded in my ears and I could feel my palms start to sweat.  
  
But there was something else.  
  
Something told me that I could trust this elf. But I didn't know what. A part of me was screaming to talk to him. He was the first elf that I didn't feel threatened by, despite his powerful appearance.  
  
Something told me that this was going to be a long conversation, so I settled myself down comfortably.  
  
I was sitting Indian style with my back against the headboard. Haldir sat opposite me where he could clearly see me and I couldn't escape.  
  
"What did you want to talk about?" I asked shakily  
  
"How long Thalia?"  
  
"How long what?" His gaze was piercing as he maintained eye contact with me.  
  
"How long have you been harming yourself?"  
  
"Ten years, almost eleven".  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I...I...can't tell you". He nodded his head.  
  
"All right. What do you get out it?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I am simply trying to understand. Thalia, we are both victims of the same crime". What! Did he mean that...?  
  
"Yes, but we shall not go into that just yet. This is about you and only you".  
  
I nodded numbly. An elf, there was somebody else like me. The knowledge that the perfect being sat in front of me was could feel as I did made my heart bleed. I felt a single tear slide down my cheek and I bowed my head. He reached out and with a slender finger, lifted my head.  
  
"Thalia looks at me". I opened my eyes and I met his gaze. There was such anger and pain hidden in them, but there was also joy in them.  
  
"Tell me how you became like this". He asked gently, but his tone left no room for discussion.  
  
"I can't, you know what it's like. You don't need me to tell you that I'm unhappy. You don't need me to sit here and tell you that my life is a complete mess and I don't know how to fix it".  
  
"You are right. I don't need you to tell me any of those things. Do you want to live?"  
  
Did I? "Yes".  
  
"The first step to recovery is learning to acknowledge the problem, and you never have. The pain in your eyes and the fear that you feel overshadows everything that you do". I could only nod.  
  
"Tell me".  
  
"Alright". I moved over and he joined me at the top of the bed. We sat shoulder to shoulder. Our hands intertwined between us. He squeezed my hand; I was ready to tell my story to someone. But not just any someone, he was someone that understood what it was like and why I did it.  
  
Without hesitation I sat and told him everything. The way my dad would push me and mum around. The way that my brother and sister were put above me no matter what I did. The almost daily beatings, and the times that I would lie in the bath or stand under the shower washing the blood off of my body. And the times that I would sit in my bedroom and cut, wishing that I was dead.  
  
Three hours later, my head was in his lap as I sobbed. He stroked my hair as I told him about what had happened during the trip here. He told me that he understood why I had done it, and that once I had told Legolas and Glorfindel they would understand. He reassured me that they would feel no malice towards me.  
  
I sobbed for everything that I had lost.  
  
For the first time somebody knew the real me. I felt stripped and vulnerable but free. I felt as though a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders.  
  
I also sobbed for something that I had gained. I had let somebody in. And it felt good. I had told him everything. I had no secrets from Haldir.  
  
It wasn't over. It was by no means over; we both knew that. But at least now I knew that if I really needed somebody, I could always find him and he would be there. We both knew that come tomorrow, the urge to cut would be too much for me to ignore and I would once again give into it.  
  
Now, I would have to face up to Legolas and Glorfindel.  
  
Then, he shared his story with me. And I cried again. To listen to him tell me about his feelings and the reasons for his actions was overwhelming.  
  
We spent the next few hours talking and getting to know each other. We laughed and we cried as we swapped stories.  
  
I made sure that I knocked before I entered her room.  
  
"Come in" Her voice sounded cheerful and light. --- I entered and smiled at the scene in front of me. Thalia and Haldir were lying on the bed. Their legs were intertwined and her head was resting on his shoulder. They both had smiles gracing their fair faces.  
  
She looked happy.  
  
"I am sorry, I did not mean to intrude".  
  
Thalia shot up, "No Legolas, come over here". She patted the space beside her and I joined them.  
  
"Where is Glorfindel?" Haldir asked.  
  
"I am sorry but he is in a meeting with Lord Celeborn".  
  
"Oh...well, I'll see him later. I'm starving".  
  
"I have asked the maid to bring some dinner. It should be here shortly".  
  
"Alas, I must go". Haldir stood up.  
  
"Do you have to?" Thalia asked.  
  
"Yes, I'm afraid I must. I am on duty tonight". He leaned forward and embraced her. "I shall see you in the morning". He put his fist on his heart and bowed to me, I returned the gesture. With a swish of his cloak he was gone.  
  
"So, did you miss me?" She asked.  
  
"Of course I did, we both did". She grinned at me and without warning flung herself at me. Her arms wrapped around my neck and her hands wound themselves into my hair. Laughing I returned her embrace. Knowing she was safe brought a great feeling of relief to me.  
  
The events of the previous few weeks were forgotten as we sat there. I knew that she was still in much pain but her spirit glowed more brightly than I had ever seen it.  
  
"I missed you". I whispered in her ear.  
  
She tightened her arms and crawled into my lap. "I'm sorry".  
  
"There is no need".  
  
"Yeah there is. Legolas, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I can't tell you yet. I will tell you...I promise, but not yet".  
  
I could feel her body begin to shake with stifled sobs. One of my hands began to stroke her soft hair. I knew this soothed her. While my other hand snaked around her waist.  
  
After an hour, her tears had stopped and we sat on the bed, content to just be in each other's company. She looked up at me with glazed eyes and smiled.  
  
"Come, the sun has been gone for a while and you are tired".  
  
She rubbed her eyes with her fists like a small child, then grasped my shoulders and pulled herself up. Wrapping my arms around her waist I helped her to stand. She laughed absentmindedly as she swayed on her feet, then walked over to the dresser and picked out a nightdress. Finally after many long minutes and many foul words later, she emerged. Throwing her old nightdress over a chair, she made her way over to the bed.  
  
I pulled back the sheets and helped her climb in; I almost revelled in the childlike trust that she had placed in me and the parental role that she had allowed me to take. Smiling she burrowed down into the covers and waited for me to tuck the covers around her.  
  
Once she was settled I bent down to kiss her forehead.  
  
"Goodnight". As I turned to leave she grabbed my hand,  
  
"Please will you stay".  
  
I smiled and nodded. I sat down in the chair next to her bed and removed my boots. Then I stood up and went to the bathroom. I felt her eyes on me as I returned. She looked at me, a tired but happy smile gracing her features. I had longed to see her smile over the weeks that we had not spoken.  
  
I undid my braids and set my hair tie on the dresser before slipping off my tunic.  
  
As I slid into bed next to her she shuffled over to me. I gathered her into my arms and she melted into them, her form fitting perfectly with mine. Her head was tucked under my chin and she slipped one leg in between mine making herself comfortable and secure. I tightened my arms around her and kissed her brow. She sighed heavily and I smiled. It felt so good to hold her again. Her scent invaded my senses; vanilla and marigold. I could smell the sent of us both as they mingled to produce a sweet and spicy smell.  
  
One of her hands rested on my bare chest whilst the other was buried in my hair.  
  
And I couldn't help but regret my judgement. 


	11. Recognition

Disclaimer-again- I own nothing- not a thing…got it…good!

* * *

Ugh, I felt like shit. You know that feeling when you've slept really heavily and you feel even more tired than you did before?

But I was warm and comfortable. Sometime during the night I had rolled onto Legolas' chest. He didn't seem to mind, he was still asleep and his arms were still around me.

I had missed him, but until last night I hadn't realised how much.

I could feel all the feeling from the last few days begin to build up inside me, and they wanted releasing. I could wait, I was going to wait.

"There is nothing that you can not do. Ignore it, it will get easier as time passes, you are stubborn therefore I doubt that you will have much of a problem ignoring it. We both know that it will be hard and it will not always be successful, but if you want to recover. Then you will, but only you can decide".

Haldir had said. And I believed him, and still do. It's just getting harder. And knowing that later on I'd have to sit and tell Legolas and Glorfindel was driving me out of my mind. Haldir had reassured me that neither would be angry with me. Although a part of me would rather that they did yell at me instead of quietly sitting and accepting.

I rolled over back onto the bed, this brought Legolas back to the real world. He grinned at me like a child a Christmas.

"Sleep well?" He asked as I burrowed into his arms.

"Hmmm".

He chuckled as he sat up, "Come, it is time to rise. No doubt that you are hungry".

In answer to that my stomach growled, sending me into fits of giggles. I no idea what was so funny, it just felt good to laugh.

"We did not eat last night", he gestured to the tray of uneaten food. The poor maid had had to carry all of that over here only to find us flat out.

"I am going to bathe, while I am gone I suggest that unless you wish to run around Lothlorien in your night-dress, you get dressed".

I nodded.

"Umm, Legolas?"

"Yes?"

"Umm…nothing, never mind"

"Alright" he started to walk towards the door.

"No wait, Legolas, will you be free today? And Glorfindel as well? I need to talk to you."

He came over and hugged me. "If you need us, we will always be free".

I smiled and nodded. He left the room and I got dressed in record time. I was now wearing a light blue, almost silver dress. It had a modest neckline and long bell sleeves. It was perfect.

Now I just had to work up the courage to tell Legolas and Glorfindel. I grimaced as I thought about it.

I was brought out of my thoughts by a sharp tap on the door.

"It's open" I shouted.

It was Haldir.

"How do you feel this morning?"

"Not too bad, it's there, but I can ignore it for the moment. Now all I have to worry about is Legolas and Glorfindel. I'm going to tell them later. Umm…will you come?"

"Do you really wish for me to be there?"

I nodded.

"Then I shall be".

He hugged me tightly. He smelled so different to Legolas. Haldir smelled like the forest, almost like pine trees. It was a calming and refreshing smell. I'd never had thought that the elves would be so touchy-feely. I'm not complaining, at all. It just came as a bit of a shock.

I met up with Legolas and we walked down to the dining hall. He kept laughing at me, it wasn't my fault that the trees kept getting in my way while I was trying to think.

Lothlorien was beautiful. I'd never seen anything like it. We entered the dinning hall. I was beginning to feel sick. I was sweating and if given a good enough reason, I would've bolted, I felt seriously threatened.

I tried to keep my eyes in one fixed place and focused. Then my eyes were drawn to two people sat at the top of the table.

There was a male elf, he reminded me of Haldir. He looked powerful, but he had wise quality that shone through his eyes. He caught my eye and smiled warmly. Next to him sat a woman, I couldn't see her face as she was talking to someone next to her. She had long blonde hair that shone like gold, and she was wearing a pearl while dress- 'she seems familiar'.

She turned round, it was as if she had read my thoughts. She was the woman, the woman who came to me before I died. It had to be her, it was her.

I must have zoned out because when I 'came back' Legolas was standing in front of me shaking me. He looked concerned.

Before he or anybody else could catch me I ran from the hall. I was desperate to find Haldir. He was the only one that knew about her. He must've known.

Forgetting my fear of these new elves I quickly asked if they knew where he was. Finally I got the training room, currently he was sparing with another elf. He was dressed in nothing but a pair of leggings and his boots. His torso was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and his hair was quickly coming undone. I watched as an elf walked over to him and informed him of my presence. He looked at me and nodded. I turned away and waited for him to come over.

"Thalia?"

I tuned round and threw myself at him", he looked stunned and concerned at the same time.

"Whats wrong?"

At that moment I grew angry.

"How could you not tell me. You must've known it was her. The woman- she…they look the same…they're the same person…" I trailed off as my shouting turned to sobs. I didn't know what to think. Was it her? Should I be angry with him? Did he even know it was her? Did I have any right to be angry with anybody?

---

I saw Orophin walk towards me, I was about to shout at him when I saw the look in his eyes. He told me that a frantic young woman had come searching for me. It had to be Thalia. Immediately I left the room and went to her. She was leaning on the wall with her eyes closed and her arms folded across her chest.

"Thalia?" I asked tentatively, I didn't want to alarm her or distress her anymore than she already was.

She turned round and threw herself into my arms. I was slightly stunned by her response.

"What's wrong?"

At that moment something in her seemed to spark and she began shouting at me. I had known that the woman she had seen was the Lady, but I didn't want to alarm her by telling her before she met Galadriel. There were things that even I did not know the answers to.

She broke down. I didn't know to do or say. She sat on the ground- knees drawn up to her chest and her arms around them, she rocked herself back and fourth.

I sat down next to her and took one of her hands. She raised her head and gave me a soft smile. I knew what she had to do, it was not the best thing, but for now it was all she had and I was not going to take that away from her. I leaned over and kissed her brow, letting her know that I was there and I understood. I watched as she walked out of the door. She was confused. I would have to talk to the Lady. She had to know why she was here. It was killing her. She didn't know her place or purpose in the world. And she felt lost.

I would give her some time to be alone and then go and see her before lunch. She wanted me to stay with her while she told her two best friends what she had gone through. It would not be easy, we both knew this. And I wanted to give her all the support that I could.

I could remember how lonely I had felt. If I tried hard enough I could still feel the anger and the despair that I had felt for all those years. Not even my brothers had known. When I had told her how I'd kept my secrets she looked astounded. I had worn long sleeved tunics all year round and I had bathed alone. Elves would normally bathe together as we had no problems with our bodies. For five hundred years I had been in the very depths of despair and nobody had known. I had to save her from doing the same.

---

I left the training room and set off in a dead sprint to my room. I had to cut, my skin was itching like mad and I was going to explode.

I quickly found my bag and took out a razor. Without paying any attention to anything I entered the bathroom and locked the door. I lifted up my skirt and looked at my thighs. All the cuts had nearly healed and were now pink lines across my skin. With practised movements I brought down the blade and drew it across my skin. I took delight and solace in watching my blood bubble on the surface. By the time that I had finished I had twenty cuts altogether.

I washed up and put on a new dress, redid my hair and washed my face and left the bathroom


	12. New family

Disclaimer-I own absolutely nothing, if you recognize it it's not mine.

Thanks to all those who've reviewed.

* * *

I was not looking forward to this. I had the same feeling in my stomach that I had when I watched England in the last the world cup. 

I was currently standing in the middle of my room trying to psyche myself up. I quickly jumped up and down on the spot hoping to expel some of the butterflies that were fluttering in my gut. I felt really sick. I could chicken out of this, it'd be easy. I could just say I'd forgotten what I wanted to say, of course that would also mean facing the wrath of Haldir. I grimaced at the thought, and besides, I couldn't let him down. After all, he was coming when he didn't have to. My musings were interrupted by three smiling elves.

"Glorfindel!"

I hugged him with all my strength. I hadn't really seen him since we'd arrived and I'd missed him. Then in turn I hugged Legolas and Haldir.

We all made ourselves comfortable on my huge bed. It really was massive; it could've fit at least another three people on it.

Legolas and Glorfindel were sat at the top at my bed and Haldir and me were sat at the bottom. I reached out for Haldir' s hand. I needed to hold onto something real.

"Ok, I know that I've been a bitch lately, and I know that you both want to know why I have so many scars. So, I'm going to tell you"

I drew in a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"Ok. Just sit there and listen, you can ask questions when I'm done". I sounded like a teacher.

"I had the perfect family. Sure we had our arguments, but we'd always apologize to each other. My brother and sister were good in school. My sister was at the top of her year and my brother was captain of the football team. Me? Well I got by, I got the grades that I needed and that was good enough. I went to piano and dance lessons. Every few months we'd put on a recital and all the parents would watch. My parents would sit in the same place every time, the middle of the third row from the front. They'd watch as I danced and they'd sit there with huge smiles on their faces. After it was over my dad would come over and hug me and my mother would cry.

But then something changed. It was my thirteenth birthday. Mum and me had gone out the day before and had done everything that a mother and daughter were supposed to do. We got our hair and nails done at an expensive salon. We spent hours trying on clothes. We had lunch and then did some more shopping. It was so much fun. We got home and collapsed. And before I went to bed mum came in and hugged me, tighter than she ever had, and she whispered, "Happy birthday honey", she said it as if it would be my last birthday and everything would change. She did know that there was something wrong. I later found out that dad had been cheating on her with his secretary. She had confronted him about it and he'd hit her. I hadn't known. She'd know that he'd be furious with her when he found out how much we'd spent, but she told me that she'd done it because she wanted to make my birthday memorable and special. And she had. We bonded more that day than we'd done in last year.

Dad came home the next day. He was shouting about how much he hated work and how the job wasn't worth the pay. I felt so angry with him. My day had been shit. It was Monday morning and I'd been late for school, forgotten my homework for the meanest teacher and had managed to get myself in detention for two hours the next day. I could hear voices getting louder and louder downstairs. Mum had told him what we'd done. A door slammed and a pair of heavy footsteps made their way up the stairs.

I was in the middle of getting changed. I grabbed my bag off the bed and threw it into the wardrobe. My door opened a little and my dad asked if I was dressed. I told him yeah and he came in. He looked mad, not just angry but also slightly manic. He waked towards me. I began to panic. He slammed me into the wall, knocking the air out of my lungs.

"Listen to me you good for nothing little bitch. I had a little talk with your mother this morning and it seems that you two have been, shall we say…taking me for a ride. Spending my money, eating my food and what do I get? Nothing. Why can't you be like your brother and sister hmm? They're good kids. I'm ashamed to call you my daughter!"

I was shocked; my own father was ashamed of me. I hadn't done anything wrong. I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he held me there.

He punched me in the stomach and if he wasn't holding me I would've collapsed. He backhanded me. It hurt. He sent me sprawling across the floor and I couldn't get up.

He took off his belt and brought it down on my back. It felt like fire. I didn't cry or beg him to stop. I had to be punished; I had been out and spent his money without even thinking to ask him. So I deserved it.

After that he beat me regularly. First he'd only do it once or twice a week, then he'd do it three times, then five and within a few months I was being beaten every night. He told me not to tell anyone or he'd do something much worse. So I kept my mouth shut.

After that first beating I was bathing and I saw a razor, you know those things that you two found on me…"

I said looking at Legolas and Glorfindel. They looked sadly at me but nodded. Haldir squeezed my hand.

"…Anyways, I picked up the razor and rested it on my forearm, I don't know why. It hurt, but as soon as I lifted it off my skin a thin line of blood appeared and I felt good. I watched as the blood ran down my arm and mingled with the water. All the feelings of pain and anger and betrayal had run out of me with my blood.

After every beating I would sit in the bathroom and cut myself. It felt like such a release. I couldn't cry or shout so I cut instead. And soon it didn't hurt.

As the years passed the beatings would get worse and so would my cutting. I couldn't think straight. People had questioned me about the long-sleeved shirts that I'd wear during the summer, but I never told anyone.

The beatings were beginning to knock me unconscious and they were more painful than before.

I wasn't living a life I was just going through the pointless motions.

Then one night I got my razor box and I sat on the bed as usual, and I cut. I cut like a maniac, I couldn't stop myself, and I cut both my arms as deep as I could. I started to get really dizzy and black spots kept appearing in my vision. I was tired and I decide to lie down. As I lay there a bright light appeared at the foot of my bad. And a woman stepped out. I thought she was an angel and I was dying.

I was dying, but she wasn't an angel.

You wouldn't believe the stupid thoughts that ran through my head as I watched her.

She came over and whispered something like, "Rest now and we will meet on the other side", I can't really remember. But she had long golden hair and amazing blue eyes. And she wore a white beaded dress. It was Galadriel. Of course, I didn't know that at the time. And that's why I ran out the dining hall.

I woke up here, in Middle-Earth. My arms were still bleeding and I needed to find somewhere to wash up so I set off. I turned round and fell over my bag. I still don't remember packing that and how the hell did it even get here?

Anyway…what I didn't count on was a certain nosy prince finding me. Legolas found me and took me to Elrond. I know that I seemed happy in Rivendell, but I wasn't and I didn't want to trouble you. I wish now that I told you, but I didn't. I was still cutting. In my bag was a brand new packet of razors. I'd use them everyday. After dinner I'd go back to my room and cut my thighs so nobody would notice. Then I'd get into bed with Legolas and sleep, and then everything would happen again the next day. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you.

And then on the trip, things got worse. Even though I'm not one of Elrond' s biggest fans, Rivendell was safe and the thought of coming somewhere with new people scared the shit out of me. So I cut more often. I didn't want to talk to you two so I stopped talking altogether. And then when you found me Legolas. I've never been more ashamed in my life. I'd disappointed you and betrayed you when you tried so hard to make me happy. And I'm so sorry"

I looked up at Legolas and Glorfindel. They sat with thoughtful and angered expressions that looked out of place on their flawless faces. Glorfindel sat back and watched as Legolas stood from the bed and began pacing.

"What are you doing?"

Haldir asked, somewhat amused at the elf's odd behaviour.

Legolas stopped pacing and picked up his quiver from inside a tall cupboard.

"I have to leave, I'll be back later"

I nodded and smiled at him as he left. He wasn't the only one who wanted to leave. I wished I were back at home. In my lovely warm bed staring at the white ceiling above me.

Glorfindel stood up and lifted my hand to meet his lips and before I could open my mouth he was already gone.

Haldir was the last to leave,

"You have said much yet you keep much hidden"

He was right of course. But then again, everybody keeps some things to themselves.

"Goodnight Thalia"

The door closed behind me and I felt a huge weight fall from my shoulders. But I was alone, and that was what mattered. I had not been alone for so long and it was nice to stand on the balcony and look up at the stars without the feeling that I was interrupting or disturbing somebody.


	13. Love

Disclaimer- I own nothing

Thank you for all your reviews.

* * *

I woke up happy. That hasn't happened for a long time. I was safe and secure and nobody was going to try to take that away from me.

In truth, I was a little disorientated. I had been dreaming about home.

I was hungry, really hungry so it didn't take much motivation for me to get out of bed.

I walked but I wasn't really there. In my mind I was re-living my dream, my normal day. So you can imagine when I nearly shit myself when Legolas grabbed hold of my hand.

I nearly fell over when he stopped and pulled me in another direction.

Eventually, we got to the glade that Legolas wanted to show me. It was beautiful; the trees covered the surrounding area so it was completely private and purple and blue flowers surrounded the small pool that was situated in the middle of the clearing.

He sat down and pulled me with him. We sat for a few minutes, just looking at each other, not sure what to make of anything.

"Thalia. I am sorry for what you have been through. I know that it was hard for you to tell us last night but I am honored that you did. You have finally shown the really you. _Lle naa belegohtar"_

"What does that mean?"

"It means, 'you are a mighty warrior,'".

"Uhh thanks…I think"

"Thalia, the courage that you hold in your heart surpasses that of some who have fought many battles. You have survived something ghastly and yet you sit here with a whole heart and a free spirit".

I couldn't think of anything to say to him. I just sat there with tears running down my face.

"_Mani naa ta?" _(What is it?)

I threw myself into his arms and hugged him tightly. The sobs were coming out of me and I was unable to stop them. Legolas wrapped his arms around me and stroked my back in slow, soothing circles.He carefully picked me up and settled me on his lap. I had stopped crying, but we were both content to sit with each other. I lay my head against his chest. I could hear his steady and comforting heart beat from within him. I loved him.

"Legolas", I said. My voice husky form my crying,

"I love you".

I could feel rather than see a huge grin make its way across his features. He squeezed me tightly. I didn't mean it in a…'oh my god lets get married and have babies kinda way'. I just wanted to tell somebody that I loved them, somebody that I cared about. He had been there since the first day that I had…landed…here and I need to tell somebody.

---

My heart leapt in my chest as she said the three words that I had been wanting to hear for so long, she had finally let somebody in.

I put my hand on her shoulders and pushed her away from me a little. She tilted her head and watched me through half closed eyes. I leant down and brushed a feather light kiss on her lips. She moaned when I pulled away and grabbed my tunic and pulled me against her in a heated kiss. Her lips were soft and yielding to me. Her kiss held so many things; acceptance, need, passion, trust and love.

We finally drew back from each other. Her lips were swollen and her eyes sparkling. She laughed, it was a sweet and melodious laugh full of happiness, her arms encircled my neck and she clung to me. I felt blessed. She was beautiful and brave, and she was mine.

She drew back abruptly , her eyes wide in disbelief.

"That shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry…it was a mistake"

I nodded. I was disappointed, but I understood.

We satyed there a few hours. Lorien had healing powers and as I sat beneath it's trees I could feel my spirit mending.

I looked down at the girl in my arms and sighed, she had fallen asleep. Carefully I stood up and began the journey back to our room.

It only took ten minutes to get back. Peeling back the sheets on her bed I laid her down. I removed her slippers and put them beside the bed. Then I lifted her up and unlaced her dress. As the garment slid down her torso the scars were revealed. I smiled, knowing that she had overcome her torment and pain, not completely, but she had begun the journey. The new cuts were revealed as the dress slid down her legs. I finally knew what she had been doing, but to see it was different. I felt a tear make its way down my cheek and I watched it drop onto her pale skin. She wouldn't need to do it now together we would defeat her demons.

I stood up and removed my clothes so that all I was left wearing were my undergarments, and then I slipped into bed next to her. I chuckled as she unconsciously burrowed into my chest and wound her hands into my hair. I didn't sleep that night, I watched her as she slept, occasionally smiling at something.


	14. Choices

Disclaimer…again…I own nothing at all. If you recognize it it's not mine!

Once again- Thank you all for your nice reviews.

[ "You stupid bitch! You thought I loved you. No- don't make me laugh. Nobody loves you and nobody ever will. You're nothing but a whore and a punch bag". He loomed over me, his face purple with anger.

"Legolas loves me. Dad why are you saying this, don't you think you've done enough to me?" I tried to argue.

"He doesn't love you. He can see what a doormat you are. Just wait until you're married. All he'll come to you for is for sex and you'll become his punch bag. And I'll be happy to pass you on. You're just like your mother. You're weak and pathetic."

I lay on the floor crying. He was right. I was weak; I couldn't face up to him. Legolas loves me.

"You're wrong, Legolas loves me! You're just jealous because nobody loves you! He loves me!" I screamed at him. Before I knew what had happened he had grabbed me by my hair and now had my pinned against the wall.

"Just give it time. He doesn't love you; who would want a worthless, pathetic little girl like you. Just look at your body, who'd want to marry someone who looks as disgusting as you"

He maliciously whispered to me. I broke down completely. I slid down the wall sobbing; my head in my hands. He doesn't love me, he can't. I've been damaged and I look like a monster."]

---

The sound of Thalia's crying woke me from my slumber. She was curled up on the other side of the bed sobbing. I reached over to touch her and she shied away. I whispered her name desperately trying to wake her.

"No, No, No, No…" She said over again through her tears.

I was quickly getting worried. I tried shaking her and that didn't work; she stopped crying and went still. For a minute I thought that she had woken up.

"Thalia", I tried again and got no reaction. She went completely limp.

And leapt from the bed and threw on a robe from the wardrobe. Luckily the maid had been considerate enough to bring a few of my belongings here.

I raced next door,

"Glorfindel!" I hammered the door with my fists, "Glorfindel!"

A second later a tired looking Glorfindel opened the door and if it wasn't for my own state of panic he would have shouted something extremely rude.

"Legolas, what is it?"

"It's Thalia", Glorfindel's eyebrows rose and he began to panic, "I can't wake her up, she's asleep and crying and I can't wake her."

Glorfindel rushed inside and pulled on a pair of leggings and a tunic and together they rushed back to Thalia. When they entered she was still in the same place as before. She had resumed crying and she was now whimpering softly.

We both tried to wake her when, the Lord and Lady emerged.

"She will not wake." Galadriel said.

"Why not, what's wrong with her?"

"Calm yourself Glorfindel. Somehow using some sort of magic, her unconscious has connected with her father's mind"

I could feel my heart race and panic begin to flood me. Glorfindel looked no better.

"Somehow, her father has managed to get hold of her mind, and he has captured her."

"How do you know this?" I asked, a little suspicious, I mentally chided myself at this; the Lady was not one to be challenged or accused of such a thing.

"Legolas. Nenya allows me to maintain Lorien and this means that I am able to see everything that happens in this land".

"Of course, I apologize my Lady. What can we do to bring her back?"

"The only way for her to return to us is for someone to enter her mind. Firstly, Celeborn will go, then another will join him and together you shall be able to coax her into returning".

"Forgive me my Lady, but why will Lord Celeborn go instead of yourself?" Glorfindel asked.

"Thalia does not yet understand why my wife brought here and she is fearful of her. If she was confronted by someone whom she fears she could retreat into herself and we would loose her".

"Alright. This must be done now or she will fade".

I watched as Galadriel removed Nenya from her finger and handed the ring to Celeborn. I was apprehensive about this, but I loved Thalia and I couldn't, I wouldn't let her go. I would do anything for her.

Celeborn slid the ring onto his finger and lay down next to Thalia. He then took her hand in his and closed his eyes. A white light began to engulf Celeborn and Thalia as Galadriel spoke an incantation.

I glanced at Glorfindel and saw the torment written across his face. I knew that he loved her; he was a father to her and she a daughter to him. Blood did not matter in this. I knew that it hurt him as much as it hurt me to see them both lying there.

Finally the incantation was finished; Galadriel sank down into a chair. The spell had taken a lot out of her and she was exhausted.

"They will not awaken anytime soon, I suggest that you get some rest".

"My Lady, we thank you for your kindness, but we wish to stay until they wake". Glorfindel spoke for the both of us".

The three of us sat and prepared for a long wait.

She couldn't leave me; I wanted so much for us. I wanted to show her my home and introduce her to my mother and father and my brothers and sisters. I wanted to stay in Rivendell and introduce her to Elladan and Elrohir and she would love Arwen. Arwen was a gentle but feisty spirit and they would no doubt become great friends. I wanted so much. And I was going to make sure that that would happen.

---

[ I was lying on the cold floor still crying, when a bright light appeared next to me. It was the same light that the Lady had come through the night that I died. But it wasn't her that stepped out; it was the Lord Celeborn. For some reason I couldn't move and I watched as he made his way over to me. He knelt down beside me and picked me up so that I was leaning on him. He smiled and began to stoke my back soothingly. I felt more tears run down my face.

"Thalia, you have to come back". He said. I laughed bitterly.

"No I don't. My dad's right".

"About what?"

"About Legolas, he doesn't love me".

"Of course he loves you"

"No he doesn't. He can't"

"He can and he does. There is no doubt in my mind as to that. At this very moment he and Glorfindel are both sat beside your body waiting for you to come back"

"No, no. They can't love me. He said it and he's right…Look at me, Look at my body. I'm a monster…and I did it all myself. I didn't want to but I had to"

"Shh, shh. He loves you; he wouldn't care if you were an orc Thalia. He sees your soul and he knows who you are. He accepts your past and will help you build a future…if you let him"

"I can't"

"You can"

"No, I can't"

"You remind me of my daughter"

I stopped crying and sat up in his lap.

"Celebrian was her name. She married Elrond and they had three children, Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen. She was traveling over the misty mountains when she was attacked. The twins rescued her but she was beyond anything. Her body healed but her mind never did. And soon after she took a ship into the west and she still waits for her husband. But my point is this, the people around her never gave up on her and they accepted that she had to sail. You do not have to suffer the same fate as she. Your love for each other is stronger than any I have seen for a long time and together you are more powerful than you can imagine. Love conquers all. You have been given a choice; you can choose to pass on. Or you can return to Legolas and the others that love you. But I must warn you. You will return immortal. You will have the same body and you will carry the same feelings and thoughts that you always have, including your pain. I understand that this is not an easy choice. Right now you can feel the pain weighing you down but I know that you cannot do anything about it"

"Will I go back as an elf?"

"You may choose that form, but whichever form you choose be it elf or human. You will still carry the scars".

I nodded, I was completely overwhelmed. Right now all I wanted to do was sleep. Did I want to do what Celebrian did? It would be easier on me, but I would be leaving all the people I love behind. I didn't want that. Or I could return as an immortal. I couldn't spend eternity with this pain, it was eating me up. But didn't Celeborn say that, with Legolas' help I could come through the pain?

"Can I have a little time to think about it?"

"Of course you may" he then kissed my forehead and stood up, he lifted me up and set me on my feet.

"The correct path is right in front of you. I am sure that you will find it soon enough. You have only a day to make your decision. Regardless of your decision, I am sure that Legolas will come".

And with that he turned around and disappeared, leaving me to think about my future and make a very hard decision.


	15. Endings

Disclaimer- I own nothing- at all- Don't Sue!!!!

Laura- This chapters for you as you seem to love this story- thank you for reviewing- let me know what you think of this chapter.

* * *

I had spent hours pacing up and down and I still hadn't made a decision. I love Legolas, but a small part of me believed my father. Legolas couldn't love me, and now I'd heard the words, I did feel like a monster. And did I really want to go back to Legolas looking like this? Forever is a long time to be in pain, it was slowly killing me. If I remained on Middle-Earth I would not last long; I would end up killing myself.

But I wasn't alone anymore; Legolas, Haldir and Glorfindel could help me. Haldir knows what it's like and he's alright now. I could be like him, I could get over it. But would Legolas think I was ugly? Nobody thought Haldir was ugly and he had scars, so do they matter?

The past few hours had been like this. Thoughts were whirling round my head and I could no longer concentrate on any of them. They were confusing me and they were making me wish for a blade. And that very wish sent waves of guilt through me. I need a blade to survive, without it I was nothing and it would be like that for years, I couldn't allow that. It was easier to leave them now than put them through that.

I started sobbing and sank to my knees. I curled up into a ball.

---

Celeborn awoke and sat up. Galadriel looked at her husband, awaiting an explanation of what had occurred between himself and Thalia.

"She has been given a choice", I found myself sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for him to continue. I looked over to Legolas and Haldir; they were both wide eyed and desperate for an explanation.

"She is in pain, and despite you're attempts at helping her. Her spirit has given up. Unfortunately, her father has prayed on this and has managed to get a hold on her mind. She has been given the decision of choosing between dying and coming back here".

"But, why would she need time to choose, wouldn't she just come straight back to us?" Legolas asked; his voice quivering as he spoke.

"Legolas; you must understand that she has suffered alone for years, and the pain that she has kept to herself is killing her. She knows that you are here for her and she knows that you love her, and she loves you. But right now her feeling and fears are too large for her to handle and she would like nothing more than to give up her life".

"Then why has she not passed?" I asked.

Haldir spoke up. "Because somewhere a part of her can see the light. She knows that we are here to love and help her, but she is afraid".

"Afraid of what?"

"She's afraid to let go. Legolas. She's afraid that if she lets go she won't have anything to fill the void with. She has held onto her pain for so long that it's become a part of her, one that she does not think she can let go of. She afraid to trust us to catch her. If she comes back it will take time for her to adjust and re-discover herself. And she will need help. But she cannot ask because she's scared that we will turn on her".

Nobody said anything. Haldir was right. I could see the conflict, but I wanted her back. I wanted my daughter back.

The five of sat and waited for hours until Celeborn stood up.

"It is time for her to make her choice. Who will go?"

"Legolas". The answer was obvious, the only person who could bring her back was the person she loved the most, the person whom she placed the most trust in, and the person who made her see the good in herself.

The vote was unanimous. Legolas would go. Haldir came and sat beside me ands together we watched Galadriel go through the incantation again. And then we waited.

---

I knew that I would be the one to go. For a moment I was blinded and I couldn't see anything. I could hear weeping. I stepped out of the light to see Thalia curled up on the floor crying. I rushed over to her, picked her up and sat down with her on my lap. She went quiet.

"I've made my decision. But first you have to tell me something". She said quietly.

"What do you wish to know?"

"If, I come back, what will you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Will you leave me?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I look like a monster"

"You are beautiful Thalia. And I love every part of you"

"You can't…my scars, I'm ugly. He said…that you'd say that you loved me…but then you'd just use me".

"Look at me Thalia"

She slowly raised her head to look at me. And I gasped at what I saw. There was nothing in her eyes. They were almost completely blank. She was giving up.

"Thalia, I love you. No matter what anybody says, you are beautiful. You are one of the most loving people I have ever met. And despite what you say; you are worthy of my love, and Glorfindel and Haldir's. We all love you. And if you looked…you'd see what we see in you".

"What do you see?" She whispered.

"We see; kindness, intelligence, beauty and most of all…love. Come back with me Thalia"

She hugged me tightly and when she drew back she was a different person. Her eyes shone with new life and they sparkled as if they held the stars.

The next thing we knew we were back in our bodies laying in each other arms on the bed. She sat up and looked at the others. Suddenly Haldir and Glorfindel had us locked in an embrace. And we sat there crying. There were no words to describe our feelings.

After a few minutes Thalia stood up and approached Lord Celeborn, and she threw her arms around his neck. They now shared a bond. I was glad that she had found another person to trust. Then she released him and approached Galadriel. They looked at each other and embraced. What had happened between the two of them was a mystery. But I was happy for her. With this new life, came a new understanding, that much was obvious. But something within her had changed, but I didn't know what.

Celeborn put his hand onto her shoulder and stood behind her.

"Legolas, Glorfindel, Haldir; there is something that we must inform you of. Thalia has returned to us, yet she is not the same person that she was before she left. She has come back to us with a new lease of life, a new…immortal life".


	16. First step

Disclaimer- I own nothing- Don't sue!

Once again- Thanks to all of you who reviewed

* * *

The next morning I was beginning to have my doubts. All this new information and all the new possibilities were overwhelming me. I did the only thing that I could; I locked myself in the bathroom and cut. It was bliss. I hadn't cut in a few days and the release was so sweet. I felt slightly guilty but the pleasure of finally being able to do it over came all of the more…unpleasant thoughts.

I cleaned up, had a bath and then got dressed. I left the bathroom to find Haldir lying on my bed. He sat up and looked me in the eye; I quickly looked away. He knew what I'd done.

"I know. Don't feel guilty. Just because you have confessed your secrets, does not mean that you will be able to stop. It will take time for you to be able to control the feelings and urges".

"Thank you. Umm…where are Legolas and Glorfindel?"

"They are down at the Hot Springs"

"What are they doing there?"

"Waiting for us". Haldir said coolly.

"What! Why?" My heart nearly jumped out of my throat at the thought of getting undressed and letting other people see my scars.

"Thalia, it would do you good to let go. You have let go of some things mentally, but it would be best for you to slowly start letting people past your barriers. We will not pass judgment on you"

"And you did this? Have they seen your scars?"

"No I have never done it; it has been suggested by my brothers. They think that I should let go of everything. There is a certain amount of shame that comes with letting your best friends see you vulnerable. And no, Legolas and Glorfindel have not seen my scars, they know nothing about them"

"Why have you never told them?" You train with the rest of wardens without a shirt on. What's so different about letting them see you without a shirt?"

"As I said. It is difficult to let those who love you see you vulnerable", He walked over and took my hands in his,

"I am afraid of letting Legolas and Glorfindel see me without a shirt on, I am afraid of what they will think. I know they will still love me, but I do not want to disappoint them in any way".

I nodded numbly. It was strange to hear Haldir, a warrior, tell me that he was afraid of his friends. But I understood. I could do this, Haldir would be there and he wouldn't let anything happen, not that anything would.

"Alright, but you have to promise not to leave me".

He stepped forward and hugged me tightly. "I promise _seler"._

"What does that mean?"

"It means 'sister'. You are my sister in every way. I will always look after you. Of course, this does also mean that you will be sister to Rumil and Orophin" He grimaced, making me laugh.

I hugged him back and let go.

"Alright, let's go before I change my mind and run away". Given half the chance I would have run away.

I went to get a towel from the bathroom while Haldir searched my closet for a bathing suit. I came out to find him holding what looked like a normal bathing suit, but it had a see-through chiffon skirt attached at the waist. It would give me a little protection from their gazes but the new cuts on my thighs could clearly be seen.

I grabbed the suit from him and rolled it into my towel. Together we picked up our towels and left the room.

Haldir was sure to hold my hand all the way there, he knew that I'd try to run away, and his hand was the only thing stopping me.

Finally we reached the springs, I could clearly see Legolas and Glorfindel already lounging around, they were so lazy.

"Alright, let's go and get changed"

I got changed in record time. I looked down at myself. My arms were bare and for the first time I was about to go in public, well not in public, but I was about to go out willingly, with no sleeves on. Sweat was starting to bead on my forehead. I looked down at my legs; the new, red and angry cuts could be seen from a mile away. I knew that because now I was an elf and I could now see for miles, well you get my drift.

Haldir took one look at me and shook his head. He walked over to me and carefully took off my towel.

"There is no need to hide. Come on".

I followed without really taking any notice. We got to the edge of the pool and Haldir stepped in. He turned around and held out his arms for me to grab hold of.

We sat near the edge, on a step. Legolas turned to look at me and I submerged myself up to my neck. He reached, lifted me out of the water and set me on his knee. His fingers gently traced the scars on my arms and his lips followed, grazing the marred skin.

"You look beautiful" He whispered. I watched as his eyes drifted to my thighs and the new cuts. He lifted the material that was now clinging to my knees, and traced his fingers over them. I could feel his eyes on me. The tears were running down my face freely and I did nothing to stop them. He lifted my head and brought his lips to mine. He not only smelt but he also tasted like cinnamon. He broke away leaned his forehead on my mine.

"I love you" he whispered huskily.

"I love you too Legolas".

"Thalia". I turned round to face Glorfindel.

"Come here"

I reached out for his hand; he caught it and pulled me to him.

"It is good to have you back pen-neth. You have nothing to be ashamed at. It will take time. And do not worry we will help you"

I sat on his lap and hugged him, I drew back a little,

His smile grew into a huge grin and he hugged me so tightly I thought I would burst.

I swam back over to Legolas and sat on his knee. I looked over to Haldir, he was sat wearing a proud smile. I couldn't help but grin widely.

"Can I ask you something Pen-neth?"

I nodded.

"Why are you so afraid of Elrond?"

"He…he reminds, no…reminded me of my father. He looked powerful. So did my father, it wasn't him, it was what he felt like…do you know what I mean?"

They all nodded in understanding.

"His eyes looked kind but so did my fathers, and I thought that if I trusted him, he would turn out to be like my dad".

"Do you still think that?" Haldir asked.

"No, you know a funny think happened when we left Rivendell. Elrond smiled at me; and for a minute, I could see him as a person, not as somebody like my father. I have a lot of explaining to do when I get back"

"I have known Elrond for a long time, he will understand, he does not hold grudges". Glorfindel reassured me.

I leaned back into Legolas' bare chest and I listened to the others talk. His skin felt so smooth against mine. My body seemed to melt into his. He looked down at me and smiled, his smile was full of nothing but love for me. I had never experienced that before.

I sighed contentedly and wrapped my arms around his waist. He rested his chin on top of my head. I could hear the steady rhythm lulling me to sleep. His fingers were lazily drawing circles on my back, that didn't help. I gave in to sleep. I was safe and nothing could happen to me.

---

I looked down at the sleeping woman in my arms, she looked so content. Her skin was warm and velvety against my own.

I looked up to see Glorfindel and Haldir smiling at me.

"You should go and put her to bed".

Haldir was right, she was tired and there was no need to wake her.

I left the pool and set off for her room. I chuckled to myself as I looked back and saw the trail of water that we had left on the ground.

I took her into the bathroom and removed her wet bathing suit and replaced it with a warm night-dress. Normally elves do not feel the cold, but it would take a while for her to adjust.

I put her into bed and drew the covers around her, then changed my wet leggings.

I sat on the bed and studied her.

I wanted to spend forever with her.

When she was a little better and more settled, I would ask her to marry me.

I closed the drapes and climbed into bed next to her. She automatically snuggled into my arms and put her leg in between mine. I smiled at her unconscious reaction. It would always make me smile, no matter what.


	17. Haldir

Disclaimer- I own nothing

WOW- thanks to everybody that reviewed.

Starlight63- here's your answer.

* * *

I was nervous and extremely edgy. I'd hidden my scars from them for nearly seven hundred years and the thought of showing them now terrified me.

I finished getting changed and turned around to get Thalia. She was stood there wrapped in towel and fidgeting nervously with the hem on it.

I knew how she felt; I shook my head and removed the towel from her body. I was trying desperately to believe my own words; there was nothing to hide from.

Slowly we walked to the pool and climbed in, I heard the sharp gasps from Legolas and Glorfindel as they saw my torso. I purposely ignored them, I had to concentrate on Thalia or I would run. She reached for my outstretched arms hesitantly; I looked into her eyes and nodded.

We sat on a step on the edge of the pool; Thalia submerged herself in order to hide herself from their eyes. I thought about doing the same thing, but quickly dismissed the idea.

Next to me, I could feel Glorfindel's eyes on me. I turned to meet his gaze.

"Haldir! That's how you knew?" Glorfindel asked a look of disbelief on his face, the expression looked very out of place on the normally dignified Lord.

"It is"

"Why? Why have you never told us?"

"I was ashamed to tell you"

I could no longer meet his gaze so I turned my eyes to Legolas and Thalia; she was sat on his lap talking to him. They were an adorable couple, I was happy for her. She deserved it, and nobody's love was more pure and giving than Legolas'.

"I understand. Why now? It looks as if your scars are a few hundred years old"

"They are; I haven't done it in seven hundred years. I am showing you now, because I have come to realize that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Especially in front of you and Legolas; and after all, how could I tell Thalia that was nothing to be ashamed of if I myself was not willing to show my body?"

"Aye, indeed Haldir. I am relieved to hear that you feel that you can trust us enough not to be ashamed. I for one am proud to call you my friend, and I am sure that Legolas feels the same. Speaking of which, from the look on his face it seems that Legolas has already made plans for the future. I have no doubt that the two will be married by next spring"

I laughed, "I agree my friend, and it will do her good"

"It will," Glorfindel agreed.

"Thalia", Glorfindel called to her.

It felt good to know that I'd helped someone. Something good had come out of my own pain. And without knowing it she had helped me.

I was drawn out of my thoughts when Glorfindel asked her why she was afraid of Elrond. I could understand her answer and was glad to hear that she had been able to push the hostile feelings that she had toward her father away from Elrond. Lord Elrond was a kind elf, despite his strict appearance. She would do well to spend some time with him.

"Haldir. Thank you" Legolas said

"For what my friend?"

"For helping her"

He looked down at her, she was awake but her eyes were unfocused, she was deep in thought and heard nothing of our conversation.

"She is my friend Legolas; I would do anything to help her"

"May I ask why you did it?" he said, nodding at my scars.

I related my tale to them and they both listened with wide eyes and angry expressions. They were angry at the fact that I had done it for so long and nobody had noticed.

I finished my tale and we sat in silence. It felt as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I felt happy and content to just sit here with the people that I trusted the most.

They looked at me and grinned, Glorfindel burst out laughing, and Legolas chuckled as he didn't want to wake Thalia.

I couldn't help it- I joined in the laughter. I hadn't laughed like that in years. It was a laugh to celebrate freedom and happiness. It was nice just to laugh.

"You should go and put her to bed". I nodded to Thalia. She was exhausted; it would take her body a while to get used to being an elf.

I watched as Legolas took Thalia to her room, he wasn't coming back. He'd stay with her. I smiled.

"What are you smiling about?" Glorfindel asked

"I am just thinking. I am happy for them"

"As am I; and I am happy for you. Thank you Haldir"

He leaned forward and hugged me, "I will always be in your debt Haldir, you have given me something that I have wished for, for a long time"

"There is nothing to thank me for my friend. Come, I don't know about you but I am hungry. I have not eaten yet"

I left the pool and went to get dressed. On the way down to the dining room we passed Thalia's room.

We were unable to resist. We carefully opened to the door to see Thalia snuggled into Legolas' arms. His arms held her tightly and even if she wanted, there was no way that she would be able to get up. One hand cradled her head and the other rested on her lower back. His head rested on hers. The covers had slipped down to reveal their entwined legs. Their hair spread out on the pillow and it was almost impossible to tell who's hair belonged to who.

They presented a sweet picture. Glorfindel looked at me with a huge grin on his face. The two of them would not hear the end of this tomorrow.

With one last look we closed the door and left them to sleep. For an elf, Legolas slept a lot. I'd never met an elf who slept so much.

And with that we went to eat.


	18. Happiness and acceptance

Disclaimer- I own nothing- at all!

Thanks to all who reviewed- keep it up!

* * *

When I awoke Thalia was still tightly nestled into my arms. I had no wish to rise. The events of the past few weeks had taken their toll on me and my mind was a jumble of confused thoughts.

I had never experienced such strong emotions before; either in myself or in another. After she told us her story I could hardly think. Her emotions were over spilling into my own until I could no longer distinguish either one. She had suffered so much pain, especially for such a young one. She had only lived for twenty one summers and to an elf that is but a mere second. I still cannot understand how one so young and inexperienced in life could have survived what she had and still have a whole heart.

I was confused, why had I given my heart away so easily? Did I pity her or did I really love her? My mind told me to be cautious, what if I really did love her but she was too fragile for this, or she may be giving her heart away so freely because I am the only one whom she feels safe with?

I shook my head sadly and rolled over onto my back being careful not to wake her.

I felt betrayed by her, I know that it not her fault, and she did what she had to. But still, she had kept secrets from me. I had thought that she was happy, in my ignorance I had let her wilt away and slowly die inside. Until a few days ago I had been curious as to what had happened to her. Now I almost wished that I hadn't asked. I know that that is selfish. My father once said that it was proper for a prince to behave in the best interests of his subjects. Some day I would be king. Could I handle that, was I capable or trustworthy of the position of looking after a kingdom? I was beginning to doubt it; before I had been so sure. I felt a pang in my heart as I thought about home. The tall trees that stretched up into the sky and were topped by a beautiful canopy of leaves of all colour in the autumn and were a fresh green in the summer. I could almost smell the musty smell of the trees and the fresh smell of the earth. I could see the path that led to the spring and the path that led the barracks. I remembered training in the grounds before I left.

It was the first moment since I had been in Lothlorien that I wished that I was home. I was desperate to talk to my father, and I wanted to talk to my mother about Thalia and my feelings. She always knew what to say.

In my head I walked the path that would take me home.

Unable to think anymore I got up from the bed, dressed and left, intending to find Haldir.

---

I woke up alone. Legolas had stayed here last night; his scent still clung to the pillows next to me.

I rolled over onto my back and stared at the ceiling. My eyes traced the vines and leaves that had been painted on it. The vines were silver and the leaves were a mossy green. I'd never noticed before.

The sway of the curtains caught my eyes and I got up. Legolas must have opened the balcony door. I shivered as the cool air hit my skin, and I gasped at what I saw. The trees were huge, their bark was silvery and it looked like they were radiating light. Even the leaves seemed to shine, my enhanced eyes sight allowed me to see each leaf in great detail, some were silver, some golden, others were a bright green.

There were bunches of white flowers under each tree.

I was seeing a new world for the first time. Then it struck me. This wasn't earth, I hadn't grown up here. I hadn't played in the parks and been to school here.

This was another world completely. This was Middle-Earth. I can honestly say that I didn't want to go back home. What was there for me to go back to? An abusive dad and two siblings. No there was no point. But what about my mother? I would miss her, had I made the right choice staying?

My mind was open and I could think freely. It was like discovering a new me. Was it because I was an elf now, or was it because I didn't feel guilty anymore?

Either way it was confusing me.

"Let's go and explore", I was talking to myself, hmm an improvement.

Going inside I ran my fingers over the carvings on my wardrobe door. I let my fingers dance along the many beautiful fabrics. Finally I picked out a dress.

It was a gorgeous dark purple velvet dress. With long bell sleeves. I quickly pulled it over my head and twirled around in it. I giggled as I thought of all the times that as a child I had wanted to be a princess and wear beautiful dresses everyday.

Out of the corner of my eyes I spotted Lord Celeborn on his morning walk. I ran over to the balcony and shouted him, waving like a retard.

---

Lord Celeborn raised his head as he heard a voice shouting him. He smiled as he saw Thalia waving madly at him. He stood still as she disappeared and burst out of her door and down the steps. She ran over to him and gave him a hug, which he gladly accepted.

"Hello, my Lord" she said grinning like a child

"Good morning Thalia. And what may I ask, is the reason for your happiness?"

"Actually I've discovered something" she said secretively

"And what is that?"

"I'm in another world" her face lit up and her grin got wider and wider

"I know. My wife has told me everything"

"No, No you don't get it! I'm in another world, I'm in Middle earth. This is Middle earth!"

Celeborn said nothing

"Look, I can see everything. The trees, the flowers, the birds. I feel like I can see everything and I can feel everything. It as if I've never seen or felt anything before".

"Ahh, I see. That is because you are finally accepting Middle-Earth"

Thalia cocked her head in question. Her silvery hair spilling in front of her eyes and down her shoulders.

"When you first entered Middle-earth you were in pain. Your surroundings mattered not to you. You were trapped within your pain and therefore you were unable to see anything else. Can you recall details of Rivendell, or of people? Could you tell me, despite all the time that you have spent together, does Legolas have a design on his jerkin, where does Legolas come from, what is Glorfindel's horse called?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment then frowned and shook her head. Her hair once again spilling in front of her eyes.

"Come here child", he led her to a bench that was next to an exquisite fountain and sat her down in front of him. He began braiding her hair so that it stayed in one place.

She took this opportunity to examine the path; even that was interesting. There were small motifs and patterns on each one.

"So why did I not notice how big the trees were, or any of those other things" she asked

He lifted her up and turned her to face him.

"Because you were so trapped in your own mind, you were not able to really see anything. Until now you have been vaguely aware of your surroundings, but you have not been able to really look. You were trying to deny that you were in another, unfamiliar place. It was too much for you to deal with so you shut everything else out"

She nodded her head in understanding

"Have you seen Legolas anywhere?"

Celeborn laughed at her new found energy.

"Indeed I have. He is with Haldir and Rumil in the dining hall"

"Thank you"

She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. He watched with amusement on his face as she skipped down the path.

"When will you ask her? It has to be soon"

The three elves stood talking in a corner when Thalia skipped into the room.

"Hello everybody, miss me?"

She grinned cheekily at them.

"Wow, look at your hair. Do you always wear it like that?"

She reached up to Haldir and tugged on his braids. He chuckled. Her eyes sparkled as she looked at him.

"Indeed I do. Have you never noticed?"

"Nope, they're very pretty"

"I shall take that as a compliment"

She nodded enthusiastically, "You do that"

"Hello Leggy"

"Since when do you call me 'Leggy'? What is wrong with my name?"

"Nothing"

She didn't wait for an answer instead she grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the dining room.

"Where are we going?"

"Nowhere…I wanna explore"

"Where would you like to go?"

"Everywhere" she laughed and twirled around before dissolving into giggles and falling over,

And in that childish moment as he watched her, all his previous thoughts and doubts disappeared.

"Come on!"

The two of them spent the rest of the day exploring the city. It took a little longer than usual because Thalia stopped to examine everything-literally. She was amazed by the buildings and the gardens. They were like nothing she had ever seen before.

The sun had already set as they reached their room- it had stopped being Thalia's room long ago. All of Legolas' belongings had been moved and everybody knew where he could be found.

Thalia stopped to look at the fleets above them. The lights shone like the stars and they had an ethereal look to them.

Shrugging she grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the dining room.

"Thalia" Galadriel called her over to her.

"I have head some strange things about you this day"

"Oh yes, and what might they be my lady?"

"My husband tells me that you have discovered your whereabouts. Do you feel well?"

The two women looked at each other for a moment before bursting out laughing. It was rare for the lady to jest and even rarer for her to tease somebody.

"I am glad that you have let go. Embrace this Thalia; I know that this is a new world and it is unfamiliar, but you will be happy here, am I certain"

Galadriel looked around at the smiling faces of Haldir, Glorfindel, Rumil and Orophin and of course her love, Legolas.

"Well, well, well…what do we have here?"

Thalia spun round to face the speaker.

There were two hooded figure stood in front of her. She didn't feel threatened. Her eyes found the broach fastened on each persons cloak; it was the Imladris symbol- the symbol of Lord Elrond.

"Elrohir, Elladan!"

The two threw back their hoods to reveal two identical faces, the same twinkling grey eyes and strong cheekbones.

"Where have you two been?"

"I apologize Thalia, but we had to travel to Dwarf lands. There has been trouble on their boarders and they requested help" Elrohir explained.

"What are you doing here?"

Galadriel stood up,

"Thalia, you have fulfilled the first part of your journey, it is now time for you to return to Imladris, and complete what it is you need to do. You know of what I speak"

Thalia nodded and smiled. It was a nervous smile. The napkin that had previously been lying on her lap was now crushed in her hand.

"I do".

"Very well. You shall depart at first light"

"My lady…" Haldir began

"Yes Haldir you may go"

Haldir grinned.

"It is time for everybody to get some rest. Remember, you leave at sunrise".


	19. Reassurance

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it's not mine!

* * *

After everybody retired I stayed up and went to talk to Celeborn about Thalia. I had no idea how to be a father.

Although she was happy she was not yet recovered and I didn't want to upset or hinder her in any way.

After wandering around the gardens I found him, sat on a bench with a book in his hand, as usual.

"Good evening my Lord"

Celeborn chuckled and put down his book. "Glorfindel since when have you called me 'my Lord? "

"Never…alright I see your point. I need your help with something". I sat down next to him,

"I presume that this help you need, has something to do with your daughter"

I nodded, "Yes. I do not know how to…"

"Talk to her?" Celeborn finished my sentence, as I really did not know what to say.

"First and foremost she needs somebody who can give her stability. She needs your guidance. She has somebody who can give her unconditional love, but she does not have some one who can push her in the right direction. In order for her to stay in her right mind she needs somebody to tell her what to do. And that somebody has to be you".

"But what if she sees me as the enemy?"

"Of that I have no doubt, she will see you as her enemy. But only for a time. You will be doing what needs to be done"

"I know, but I must confess, I do not like it"

"Neither did I. When Celebrian passed over the sea, she needed someone to make her see sense. And I had to do it as she would not listen to her mother or her husband. It was not the most pleasant thing that I have ever had to do, but I had to do it, and I would do it again. I love my daughter and I would do anything to stop her from feeling any pain. And I know that you feel the same way towards your daughter"

He was right. I did love her, more than anything. It seems strange to think that she is not mine by blood. Our bond could not be stronger.

"Thank you Celeborn"

"You are most welcome old friend. Now go, you must wake the others. And do not forget. She will need you more than she will anybody else. Be there for her".

We each put our fists to our hearts and said our farewells. I left him still sitting there as I had found him, sitting on a bench and reading a book, he will never change. My mind was refreshed and I felt tranquil for the moment.

My next stop was Haldir, although he was probably already up by now. Luckily Orophin was able to fill Haldir's place as Lorien's marchwarden while he was away.

I walked up the grassy paths until I got to Haldir's room. As I was about to knock a loud crash came from the room followed by a cry and a thud.

I opened the door to find Haldir lying on the floor in a rather strange position. His upper body was on the floor while his legs were tangled in the sheet and were still on the bed. On his way down he must have knocked over his nightstand as its contents were now strewn about him.

"Glorfindel! Stop laughing and help me up, this is not funny!"

"My dear Haldir. This is almost as funny as the time when Elladan accidentally shot Erestor in the behind!" I managed to say as I laughed. Tears were rolling down my face. The proud marchwarden lying on the floor like that was just too funny.

"I'm just going to leave you to get ready"

"No, No Glorfindel get back here!"

I waited to hear the thump of Haldir hitting the floor when he managed to get up. I know that it was a little wrong of me to leave him there but I was in a hurry to go and get Thalia and Legolas. Knowing them, they were still in bed.

The walk to Thalia's only took me a few minutes. I stopped to admire the view. The sunrise was beautiful, the sky was a mixture of Gold's and purples and blues. I rarely got chance to look at the sunrise in Imladris. Usually I am already up and in the training grounds or I am out riding.

The door to Thalia's room was open, this confused me greatly. They wouldn't have gone to bed without locking the door. I stepped closer and heard rather muffled giggles.

"Legolas, put me down, I'm warning you, don't you dare", and then there was a splash.

I rushed inside to see what was going on. There in the bathroom were two very wet elves.

"What happened here?" I asked, but not really wanted to know the answer.

"She wouldn't get out of bed and bathe, so I decided to help her "

"What he means is, I didn't want to get up, so he decided that it would funny to pick me up and drop me into the water, still wearing a night-dress as well"

"Well you should have got up. Then I wouldn't have had to drop you in the bath" Legolas' eyes shone with mischief, but he kept a straight face.

Thalia on the other hand looked furious and delighted at the same time.

"I shall leave you two to it then. You have an hour to make your way down to the stables".

I left them still sitting in the bath. This morning had been good so far, I hoped that it would continue like this.

---

"Thalia, Thalia, come. Your bath is ready". Her only answer was to burrow down further under the covers.

I crawled down to the bottom of the bed and grabbed her ankles. She knew what it was I planned to do and began trying to get away. I pulled them and she came flying out and into my arms. Before she could do anything I picked her up and carried her into the bathroom.

"Legolas Greenleaf, you are in big trouble! Don't you dare. I'm wearing a night-dress, it's not proper" she had guessed what I was planning to do.

"And since when have you cared about what is proper and what is not?" I chuckled.

I continued walking to the bath and she continued screaming and laughing.

The bath had been built into the floor, as they were in most elven cities. This made it easier to get into the bath.

She gave an indignant cry as the water made it's way up her legs and finally I dropped her.

She stood up out of the water and glared at me.

"Greenleaf! What was that for? You could've at least taken my night-dress off or something. It's see through now anyways, and you've seen me naked anyway- and you're naked- what's the difference?"

I starting laughing at her childlike tantrum, but she was right. I might as well have taken her night-dress off, the silk was now sticking to every curve of her body and was practically see-through.

She stripped off the dress and threw it into a corner. She gave me a look of triumph and began washing her hair with vanilla scented soap. I let my eyes run down her body, her silver hair was plastered to her head and lathered with soap. The water ran down her neck and onto her generous chest and past her flat stomach and curvaceous hips. Her face was tilted so that she didn't get any soap her eyes.

She was beautiful, and she was mine.

I slid over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. Her skin was as soft as rose petals. I caressed her stomach and she leaned into my arms. I smiled against her neck.

"You know, considering that you are the one who dumped me in here to bathe, you're not exactly making it easy" she whispered

"Hmmm, that wouldn't be any fun would it melamin?"

I felt rather than saw her smile. My doubts and fears had left me altogether last night. As I watched her sleep I felt noting but love for her.

I began lightly trailing kisses on her neck, then I moved to her arms. Her back stiffened. She was still very sensitive about her scars, I had told her that I wanted all of her, even her scars. To me they were a symbol of her bravery and courage, they were nothing to be ashamed of.

I stroked her stomach and waited for her to relax. When she did I tailed my lips, taking my time, down her arm and then kissing her fingertips lightly. I repeated this on her other arm.

She moaned and raised her arms to encircle my neck. I ran my hands through her still soapy hair and she turned around.

She ran her hands down my chest, her soft lips leaving small kisses in their wake.

I closed my eyes and tried to regain control over my body. She had turned my game against me, I was now in her clutches and she didn't know it.

One of her hands stayed on my stomach whilst her other hand cupped my head and brought my head down to hers. She placed a kiss on my forehead, as I had done so many times to her. It felt so different for her to be the one to kiss me, it was so small a gesture, but it was so passionate. I opened my eyes and captured her mouth with mine. I ran my tongue along her bottom lip, begging her to let me taste her. She complied and I thrust my tongue into her mouth, the taste of vanilla engulfed my senses. The smell and taste of her was unique. Her hands roamed over my body.

With one arm locked around her waist and the other in her hair I pulled her down and deepened the kiss.

She pulled away smiling at me,

"As much as I would love to continue, we have exactly twenty minutes to get ready and be at the stables"

I groaned and pulled her to me. I cradled her to my chest and we stood there a for a few minutes in compete silence.

She broke away once more and went under the water to rinse her hair.

I quickly washed mine and then joined her in the bedroom. She was already dressed and ready to go.

I walked over to the closet and pulled out a pair of black leggings and a pale blue tunic. My hair was still rather wet and un-braided. Thalia laughed at my appearance and she motioned for me to sit down on the edge of the bed. I sat there patiently as she braided my hair. The feeling of her fingers massaging my scalp was both strangely erotic and relaxing at the same time.

"Done!" she announced. I smiled as I admired her handy work, she had become quite good at braiding my hair over the past few weeks.

"Come on", I picked up our belongings, grabbed her hand and headed out of the door.

I would be glad to leave Lothlorien behind. This visit had been the hardest thing that I had ever had to do. Watching the person I love go through so much pain and not being able to help was not only heart wrenching but painful for me as well as her.

Rivendell was only a month away. Thankfully Haldir was coming with us, that was a relief. If anything happened to Thalia I would never forgive myself. Haldir was the only one, who in a crisis would be able to talk to her and pull her out from her feelings.

I turned my head to look at he woman beside me. Her long hair flew in the gentle breeze, her blue eyes sparked and her smile lit up face and gave her a radiance that would rival Galadriel herself.

We came to the stables and sure enough we were late. Elladan shook is head and tutted at us, while Elrohir shook his head and laughed at his brothers antics. Glorfindel and Haldir had already mounted their horses. Asfaloth looked uncomfortable at all the waiting around.

With the help of the twins, we saddled everything onto the horses. I mounted my own horse Tari'el. Thalia reached up and I lifted her up and sat her in front of me.

Giving her, her own horse would have been an unnecessary hassle. She was fine riding with me and I was more than happy to have her with me.

We rode to the city gates where we would meet Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn.

"You have all shown great courage, and I wish you a safe journey to Imladris"

She looked at each of us in turn.

"{ Trust your instincts Legolas Greenleaf, you will need them }"

As usual the lady's message was cryptic. But as always it would also make sense sooner or later.

We finished saying our farewells and headed off. I tightened my arms around Thalia as she stiffened. She had no fondness for horses.

This was going to be a long trip.


	20. Group bonding

Disclaimer- I own NOTHING!!!!!!

* * *

It felt like we had been travelling for ever. In fact we'd been travelling for two months.

I was getting really bored. All the trees looked the same and it was boring. It was more boring than watching constant re-runs of the Simpson's, but only the episodes that I'd watched so many times I could mouth the words.

Ugh- bored, bored, bored, I looked around me. Glorfindel and Haldir were chatting merrily, how dare they be so chatty and happy. As usual the twins we quietly talking, probably plotting something evil to do to Haldir or something.

And as usual Legolas was quiet. I hadn't really had a proper conversation with him since we'd set off. We'd simply ride together, bathe together and sleep together. So all in all, we hadn't spent that much time together. I mentally rolled my eyes, I was being a jackass and I knew it.

I debated trying to teach the guys how to play I-spy, then thought the better of it as the only thing that I could see were…you guessed it…trees!

"Legolas, are we nearly there yet?"

"No, we shall be there in a few days"

"Awwww, can we not hurry up?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because if we go any faster the horses will become to tired to carry us all the way to Imladris anyway, so it will have been in vain"

"Oh. Ok"

Well, that was an interesting conversation- don't say I didn't try.

"Elrohir, when we get back will you do me a favour?"

He turned his head to look at me, a small smile playing on his lips

"And what might that be, my lady?"

"Will you show me where to get some paints? And cut out the lady crap!"

He looked sceptically at me, "Do you paint?"

"No. But I figure I've got a long time to take up a new hobby. And at least painting can't get me into trouble"

"Alright, we shall get you a new box of paints when we get home"

'When we get home', those words filled me with hope and warmth. I had never lived anywhere that I could call home, I could call it a house, but not a home. I was looking forward to being able to call somewhere my home.

"Alright. We shall stop here for the night", Glorfindel announced.

"Finally, I can't feel my ass!" this earned me a swat across the back of my head from Legolas. That was definitely a drawback, watching my language was really hard thing to do, it actually takes up a lot of your brain-cells.

I sat down on a log and studied my companions. Elrohir was wearing a royal blue tunic with a cloak to match and black leggings, Elladan was wearing the same but in forest green. Haldir was wearing a charcoal grey tunic with blue leggings and Adar was wearing a mustardy-gold tunic and white leggings. In my head I could hear my mum telling me never to wear white when I'm out in the woods because they'd get dirty within five minutes. Not that that mattered, dirt just seems to fall off of elves, that was a major perk to being an elf. I had been overjoyed to learn that. I looked at Legolas. He was wearing a bottle-green tunic with black leggings. It seemed to enhance his eyes and make his hair seem more golden than it already was. He looked gorgeous. I smiled and giggled to myself. I was becoming such an idiot…well…more of an idiot than I already was.

I watched as Elladan started a fire. I would've helped with that but I was never much of a girl scout, but ask me to make up a batch of brownies and I'll have them done in no time- yeah that's useful when you're in the woods.

"There is a stream close by. Who will be willing to go and catch dinner?" He asked.

I would've volunteered but the idea of trying to catch slimy, slippery fish was not really appealing. Plus I felt sorry for them. I mean how would you like it if somebody just plucked you out of somewhere and roasted you on a fire. I chuckled and mentally kicked myself, sometimes I think way too much.

Haldir, Glorfindel and Elladan went to catch dinner.

Legolas and Elrohir stood grooming the horses and talking in low voices. I rolled my eyes and got up from the log I was sat on. I took one last look at my backpack and turned around towards the trees.

"Thalia, where are you going?" I spun around to see Legolas standing by his horse, his arms crossed against his chest.

"For a walk"

"Thalia…" He started to say something but I cut him off,

"Don't worry" I said while pointing toward my backpack.

A look of relief spread across his face and he smiled. I turned round and started walking again. I felt awful, once again I had lied to him. Well not lied as such. The truth was that I had left the packet of razors in my bag, but I also had one stashed in my right boot. Just for emergencies. And truth be told it really was for emergencies. I had done well so far. But I would have to do it soon. I could feel it bubbling beneath my skin. But I could ignore it for now.

I just wanted to go for a walk alone. So much had happened while I had been here. They all knew I was from another world, but I hadn't given them any details. And they didn't ask. I wanted to start a new life. My old life didn't really matter anymore.

My next goal was to talk to Lord Elrond. That didn't seem so hard. After all, he was a father, and how could a bad father have raised Elladan and Elrohir? It just wasn't possible.

I was also a little disappointed to learn that Arwen had left Lothlorien a few days before we had arrived. It would be nice to make friends with a female.

I was really missing my mum, I missed the late night talks and the shopping and the late night Tom Cruise movie marathons.

It would just be nice to have the company of a woman for a while.

Anyways, Lord Elrond…I wasn't sure what to talk to him about. He was a healer, and he was well versed in the history of Middle-Earth, maybe I could talk to him about that.

I shook my head, I had plenty of time to think about that.

I looked ahead and saw the guys at the stream. I didn't want to see the poor fish by that evil lot, so I turned round and began walking back to camp.

---

"So, do you think my Adar will be able to help?" Elrohir asked as we each brushed our horses.

"I think so. She seems to be comfortable with the idea of talking to him"

"Legolas, we have known each other for over two thousand years, I know when you are lying"

He said as he gave me a stern look. He was right, I was lying.

"I am sorry. I do not think that she is ready to face whatever it is she will have to. It is too soon and she has had no time to adjust yet"

"Do you doubt my Grandmother?, she would not have sent Thalia to do something which she is not yet ready to do. All things have a reason Legolas. And you must trust Thalia to do what she need to in her own time"

He was right.

"I know, and I trust her. But I do not want to risk losing her again"

He stopped what he was doing and walked over to me. He put his hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye.

"Legolas. Thalia is just setting out on a new journey. She is your beloved, no one is going to challenge that. But you must realise that she has to find her own way. Just be there for her".

I smiled at him. He was right. I was worrying for no reason. She was beginning a new journey in which hopefully she would be able to find who she was and what she wanted. I had to take a step back and allow her to find her own way. As long as I was there, she would be fine.

I reached out and gripped his shoulder

"Thank you my friend, you have put my mind at rest"

He nodded and grinned.

"So…when are you going to get married?" he grinned cheekily.

"I am going to ask her when she is settled and ready. Right now she is in no state of mind to make a decision right now"

I wanted to wait until the time was right. I had the perfect plan set up the perfect evening, and then I would ask her. I was going to give her my mothers ring. That ring had been my grandmother, she had been killed in an orc attack many years ago. I would very much like to honour her by giving my beloved the ring which my grandmother cherished so much.

Elrohir's eyes moved from my face to over my shoulder and a warm smile made spread across his lips.

I followed his gaze and met with Thalia's. She smiled and walked over to us. She looked free and happy.

"Hey you guys. What you doing?"

"We are just about to set up camp", Elrohir answered. "Come on".

He took hold of her hand and dragged her over to the fire.

I stood and watched as the two of them set up everybody's bedrolls. I laughed as Elrohir threw a bed roll at her and she fell backwards, to which she retaliated by pushing him over. He jumped on her and soon they were rolling around on the floor wrestling. The sight of an elf lord and a young woman rolling around the floor, covered in leaves and twigs was hysterical. And soon tears of laughter were making their way down my cheeks.

During this, none of us had noticed that the others had come back from the stream. The three of them stood, torn between laughter and confusion. Glorfindel cleared his throat and Elrohir and Thalia looked up. They quickly got up and brushed the dirt off of their clothes.

Without looking at anybody they sat down and looked at the fire. I could see their shoulders shaking with repressed laughter.

A few hours later the six of them were sitting around the fire comfortable talking and laughing at stories and jokes. The twins were now a part of their circle. They could be trusted and they were accepting and loyal of their friends. And despite what Glorfindel said about them, they were charming.

They talked until late in the night. Glorfindel was the first to retire, followed by Haldir and then the twins.

Legolas and Thalia sat up and talked for a while before they got into their bedroll. As usual she secured herself in his arms, making him chuckle.

"What are you laughing at?" she asked me.

"You"

"Well, if I'm that funny maybe I should go sleep with Elrohir"

She started to get up, she wasn't serious. Her face held nothing but her eyes were full of laughter.

I grabbed her arms and pulled her back down and onto my chest. She laughed softly and tucked her head under my chin and put one of her legs in-between mine, effectively pinning me down.

She lifted her head and kissed my chin.

"Goodnight Legolas"

"Goodnight Thalia. I love you"

"I love you too" she answered me, she was already half asleep.

I wrapped my arms around her soft body and rolled over onto my side. Thalia shifted herself and sighed heavily.

I looked up at the stars and thanked the Valar for everything that I had been blessed with. I lay awake for a while before eventually falling into sleep.


	21. Reasons unknown

Disclaimer- Once again- I own nothing! If you recognise it it's not mine!!!!!!!

Thanks to all, who once again- reviewed.

* * *

The next few days were awful, my butt was numb beyond belief, and nobody had spoken for days- well, not in conversation anyways. And I kept losing my number in my new game…count the trees. Which lets face it, is not only stupid but impossible!

My arms were burning and I could hardly sit still. I could not longer make full, useful and/or intelligent sentences in my head.

I needed to do it. Well actually, I needed to do it days ago, but every time I went somewhere somebody always seems to be close to me. And I'm not the kind of person who would do it in public anyway- and they knew it.

But slowly I was becoming more and more agitated. I really was gonna explode, I don't know why but I dissolved into giggles.

The guys looked at me and just shook their heads. My giggles were slowly becoming more hysterical by the minute. I couldn't help it. All my locked up emotions were escaping in my laughter and even to my ears I sounded slightly manic.

Pretty soon I couldn't breathe and Legolas had to get off and put me down on the floor. I just sat there rolling around on the ground like a retard. The urge to just get up and cut was overwhelming and I felt my laughter turn to sobs. This was too much. I couldn't do it anymore.

I felt Legolas put his hand on my shoulder. I pulled away from him as if he had burned me and I got up and ran. I didn't know where I was going, I just ran.

There were footsteps behind me. I couldn't work out whose they were, and I didn't care.

I ran and ran, but soon I found that I couldn't run while I was still crying, it just wasn't practical, and it was giving me hiccups.

I fell to my knees on the forest floor, wrapped my arms around my knees and rocked myself back and forth to try and calm down. It wasn't working, the tears just kept coming. I was growing more and more desperate, then I remembered that I had a razor in my boot. I looked around and could see nobody. I crawled over to a large tree and sat with my back against it. I drew my skirt up and brought my blade down.

I cried as I did it. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I thought it was more of a 'You lie down, you confess your secrets, and you are saved' kinda job. That was one of my favourite lines from a movie, 'Girl, interrupted'. And it was such bullshit!

Within minutes I was beyond any thought. I was just slashing and crying.

I raised my arms again when somebody caught my wrist.

I knew who it was by their scent. I had once again let him down when he had tried so hard to understand and help. I tried to get up but he pulled me back down. I was becoming hysterical and panicked, I wanted nothing other to get away. He grabbed my waist and moved me so that I was sat on his lap. I punched and screamed at him and he just ignored me. He stayed silent the whole time. I screamed one last time then fell against his chest sobbing hard.

He said nothing.

He wrapped his arms and legs around me, making sure that I couldn't get away and began to rock me back and forth.

"Shhh. It's alright. It's alright. You'll be fine"

He whispered things in my ear to soothe me. It was working. I was now at the stage when you're like a child again, you know when you feel exhausted after you've had a really good cry and you want nothing but to stick your thumb in your mouth and go to sleep, just like you did when you were four.

I was well aware of his safe arms holding me. The hand on my back was tracing slow circles and the hand on the back of my neck was holding me to him, my head was tucked under his chin. His familiar scent was comforting and reassuring. I couldn't make out what he was whispering, I could feel the warm tingling of his breath on my ear and just hearing his voice made me sleepy. I could feel my body begin to relax in his warm, safe arms, and my eyes began to feel really heavy. I gripped his tunic in my hands and felt myself go into a stupor. It was like being drunk. I was aware of things happening but I couldn't do or say anything.

---

I turned my head as Thalia began to giggles. At first it seemed like a happy laugh, but then something changed and she began to sound mad. It was as if something inside of her had snapped. She let out a howl of insane giggles. I almost jumped off of my horse but Legolas had already dismounted and had sat her on the forest floor. She lay back and laughed. I was beginning to worry for her. She sounded possessed, and for a moment I couldn't help but worry that she had been overcome by some evil force. I quickly dismissed this thought as her laughter turned to hysterical sobbing.

I watched as Legolas looked her over. His blue eyes turned dark with worry and his brow furrowed in confusion. He removed his quiver and bow and laid them next to him. He looked somewhat reserved as he reached out and laid his hand on her shaking shoulder.

Her head shot up, her eyes darted from his hand to his face. A look of terror on her face. Before he could catch her she rose from the floor and ran. Leaving a stunned and confused Legolas behind.

Without thinking I dismounted and went after her, giving Elladan and Haldir a short glance and motioning to Elrohir to help Legolas.

I followed her footsteps for a good five minutes then I lost her trail. I listened carefully to see if I could hear her, but I could hear nothing. My senses took over and I allowed my feet to take me where they wished. I stopped in my tracks when I saw her. She was sat with her back against an oak tree. Madly slashing at her thighs with a blade. Blood dripped down her legs and hands. Tears were coursing down her pale cheeks like small rivers. Her hair stuck to her wet face and her breathing was erratic.

I shook my head and ran over to her just in time to catch her wrist before she struck again. She looked up at me with crazed eyes, I almost gasped as her eyes focused on mine. she began to struggle as I took hold of her arms. Her arms repeatedly came down on my chest as she screamed at me. I stayed silent as she let out all her anger. She made a move to get up so I grabbed her waist and securely settled her on my lap. I wrapped my legs around hers and held her head to my chest. After a few moments I felt her body begin to relax as she sobbed into my tunic. Her muffled cries broke my heart as I held her. I held back the tears as I looked down at her. I knew I had to be strong for her, she needed me right now. The time for my own emotions would come later.

Her crying ceased and she curled her body into mine as best she could.

She looked like a small child did after a bad nightmare. Her face was pale and slightly blotchy, her eyes open but unfocused. She had not yet become accustomed to being an elf and as a result she still slept with her eyes closed. Her small hands clutched my tunic tightly as if I was her only lifeline.

I was pulled out of my thoughts as Haldir appeared though the tress, closely followed by Elladan leading the horses and Elrohir and Legolas at the rear. Legolas looked awful. His fair features looked very pale and the light that normally seemed to surround him had diminished slightly. He looked much like the girl in my arms.

Haldir sat in front of us and carefully began cleaning Thalia's new wounds. She didn't move as he applied the athelas to stop them from becoming infected. Haldir stopped what he was doing for a moment and looked into her eyes. I do not know what he saw but he immediately called for Legolas to come to her. The distraught elf sat next to Haldir and watched as he finished bandaging Thalia's legs. His eyes were glazed and he looked as if he would keel over at any time. as he sat back on his feet he raised his eyes to mine. I felt a sharp shock at something. I didn't know what it was but something had happened.

"Glorfindel", Haldir snapped me back into reality, a place where I was unsure I wanted to be.

"Hand Thalia to Legolas", he instructed me. He caught the question in my eyes and merely nodded, leaving nothing to debate, it was an order not a suggestion. I trusted his judgement and carefully handed my daughter over to Legolas. She whimpered at the exchange but made no movement or protest. I gently took hold of her hands and removed her hands from my tunic.

The pale elf took her in his arms and cradled her to his chest. He looked at her, his expression dumbfounded, he reminded me a child who would wait for instructions before doing anything.

"Legolas. You know what you must do". Haldir said gently but forcefully.

Legolas nodded. He stood and, with what seemed like forced movements, carried her off further into the woods.

"Where is he taking her? And what is it that he must do?" Elladan asked.

"Elladan leave a horse here, we are leaving"

My heart skipped a beat, "What?! Haldir we cannot leave them".

"Glorfindel, your daughter will be safe in Legolas' care. They will meet us in Imladris".

"Haldir! Unless you explain we are going nowhere!" I shouted. I know that it was wrong for me to shout but I could not leave an elleth whom I considered as dear to me as a daughter in the state that she was in. She was not in her own mind, and I would not leave her with Legolas. Normally I would have no quarrel with leaving her in Legolas' care, but he was in no better state than she.

Haldir looked from me to the twins, who stood with arms folded and an identical indignant pose, they were not happy about this either.

Elrohir strode towards Haldir, "I suggest, marchwarden that you explain, Now!"

Haldir looked thoughtful for a moment, "Alright, as you wish".

We each took seat near Haldir and waited for him to begin. He better have a good reason for asking us to leave.


	22. Explanations

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it it's not mine!!!!!!!!!

Benjadoll- lol! Thanks for your review- you may just be my new best friend!

Uhhh. . . . I have no name- I can and I will! sticks tongue out and cackles

Sugar-skyline- thanks- this is for as you seem so desperate.

I had no idea of how I was going to explain this. Lady Galadriel had tried her best to explain, but I was still left somewhat confused.

"Thalia was brought here under a misconception. Yes, she was brought here because she was in pain and needed help, that much you already know"

"So what don't we know?" Elrohir impatiently asked.

"Lady Galadriel went to Thalia on the night of her death. She had heard the call of Thalia's soul. After her arrival in Middle-Earth she met Legolas. They did not know it at the time, but their souls have matched. As you know, elves only love once and when they do, they love their match completely. It usually takes a few years before a pair of souls meet and intertwine. But in this case, Legolas' soul felt the pain and sorrow that she eminated, and before he could do anything about it, his soul answered".

Immediate soul bonding was rare and very few knew what actually went on when this happened. I hoped that I was explaining this well, I was trying my best.

"So, why has it taken so long for either of them to realise it?" Glorfindel asked, his concern for both evident in the hushed tone of his voice.

"Legolas realised it almost immediately. But Thalia fought against it. Her soul tried to hide from the love he so readily offered her. The fear she felt towards her father hindered her own feelings. However, part of her soul did accept him, which is why she was most trusting with Legolas"

"I still do not fully understand. Why is it that we have to leave them here?"

"Did you see Legolas before he left with her?"

Everybody nodded grimly.

"The reason that Legolas looked so weak, is because they now share the same soul. Their souls have ceased to become individual, and have strongly intertwined. They are each aware of the others feelings. When an extreme feeling takes over however, the results are either blissful or sorrowful.

Normally the finding of a matched soul is a joyous event. But neither of them were ready to become soul bound so soon, especially with present circumstances as they are. Legolas fought his feelings and subdued them, as did Thalia, although she did not know what she was fighting against".

"So he can feel her torment?" Elrohir asked.

"Yes. He feels it as sharply as she does, however, he has the ability to see through the haze and can still make a rational decision".

"But, why have we left them?" Glorfindel was becoming restless.

"Their souls have joined, almost fully, the only thing left to do is for both of them to sit and acknowledge this. They do not yet have to bond in body, but in order for Thalia to recover they must acknowledge it. If they do not, the added pressure of their unacknowledged bond will slowly wear them down. They love each other but they are both afraid. Once they have talked, hopefully they will come to realise what has happened"

"But what if Thalia rejects it?"

"She will have no choice. She does love him, she knows that much. Legolas has taken her to an old, hidden healing glade, where he will explain the situation to her, she comes out of this stupor"

"What is it that you saw when you looked into her eyes?"

"Because their bond has ignored for so long, to compensate for the lack of nurturing the connection is slowly draining her of her life. While the bond becomes stronger, she grows weaker. There was no light in her eyes. The only thing keeping her alive at this moment is her will to live".

I looked at the three of them. Glorfindel looked a little more hopeful, a light had made its way back into his eyes, at least he had faith in them.

Elladan and Elrohir looked as confused as I felt.

We each looked at one another before making the silent decision to leave them, much against our wishes, but we wanted them both back. What I hadn't told them, was that if Legolas failed they would both die.

---

I had no idea where I was going. I just let my feet do the walking. At the moment I was too concerned about the woman I held in my arms.

She was so pale and small. She looked worse than she did when we first arrived in Lothlorien. I could feel the pain and sorrow that she felt as if it were my own.

I knew from the first time I met her, that she was my match. But for her sake I had ignored my needs. Usually when two souls bond, the bond must be strengthened physically. But that had not been an option. Our souls had connected and intertwined much quicker than normal. It usually it took a while for two souls to recognise it's twin. The love I felt magnified as the bond became stronger. She knew that something was different but fought it.

And now, because I had not had the courage to say anything, she was dying. I could not let that happen. I could feel her heart beat alongside mine. I could feel every emotion and almost hear every thought. As I looked down at her a rush of emotion ran through me. She must have felt it, as she looked at me. Her eyes were blank. There was nothing at all. The bright sapphire eyes that usually looked at me with such love were completely dead.

I felt something in my mind tell me to stop. I stood still and looked at my surroundings. We were in a small glade, it was very similar to the one which I had taken Thalia to when I first told her I loved her. Without thinking about anything I put Thalia down on the grass beside the small stream that ran through the glade. I had no idea what I was supposed to do.

"_Trust your instincts Legolas Greenleaf_ "

Lady Galadriel's words sounded in my ears. Carefully I stripped off my clothes and entered the cool, clear water. The water came up to waist and moved around my body as I took hold of her upper body and rested her against my chest. Her soft, silky hair brushed against my chest. I took my time as I undid the ribbons of her dress. The feel of her soft skin against the tips of my fingers sent shivers down my spine. I looked at her face as I moved the dress down and over her torso, her lifeless eyes blinked once or twice, but she gave me no sign of wanting me to stop, or curiosity, or even just acknowledgement.

I picked her up and gently lowered her into the water. Her head snapped up and her eyes locked on mine.

"What are you doing? Where am I?" she asked as her eyes scanned the glade.

"We are still on the path to Rivendell, however before we can continue, there is something we must do?"

her brow furrowed as she looked at me, "Where are the others?"

"They have continued on".

"Oh. So why am I sat in a river…naked?"

"What is the last thing you remember?"

She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, "I was sat on Adar's lap, and…"

Her eyes began to glisten with tears, "…and…I had…had..umm done…done it".

She could barely get the words out of her mouth. A lone tear made it's made down her pale cheek, I reached out and bushed the tear away with my thumb. I lifted her bent head so that I could look her in the eye.

"Thalia. There is something that we must discuss"

"What?"

"Close your eyes"

She obediently closed her eyes, she gasped and opened her eyes.

" This is the spring of Vana. It is one of the three springs of life that the Valar have graced Arda with. It is kept hidden with magic to all but those whose needs are greatest".

"Who is Vana?"

"Vana is the Mistress of life, she helps those who need in finding their true paths".

I reached out and grasped her small hand in mine. Her eyes widened as she finally felt our bond. She let go and sat down, the water coming up to her neck.

"What was that?" she looked frightened.

"That was our bond. Over the past few months you have felt very different have you not?"

"Yes", she whispered, "But I thought was because I was learning to adjust to being an elf".

"No, what you have felt is the result of finding your match".

"What do you mean my match?"

"Your souls other half, its twin"

"I don't understand", she said, shaking her head.

"The moment that we met, our souls joined. You had been lost, your true home was here, in Middle-Earth. Your soul cried out and you were answered. I could not tell you, your heart was already laden with dark thoughts and I could not stand to see you in more anguish".

She looked at me with teary eyes, confusion showing clearly.

"You knew?" I nodded.

"I didn't want to hurt you".

"But why didn't I notice it? what happened?"

"Because your heart was already too clouded to see. The bond has finally sealed itself and because it has not been acknowledged by both of us, it has taken over. Normally, when to souls bond, it is nurtured by the two elves, and because we had not, it finally became too much and your heart cried out. That is why you could not think. I felt everything, your pain, your sorrow, your love and your hope. And you did not know what to do with it. You were unable to let me into your heart and you were unable to carry the burden. Our souls are joined which means that you are no longer a full individual. We share everything"

I brought her hand over my chest and let it rest over my heart. She closed her eyes and smiled as she felt my heart beat at the same time as hers.

I watched as she slowly came towards me, her hair falling about her face and blowing gently in the light breeze. Her eyes sparkled brightly as she trailed her hands on my bare chest, gently teasing my nipples. Her other hand found its way to my neck and she pulled me down to meet her lips. I nibbled gently on her bottom lip, She parted her lips and let me taste her. Our tongues battled fiercely as our hand roamed over each others body. I felt a spark ignite through our bond, as did she. Our kisses became more urgent and forceful as the sensation of our bond became more intense. My hands ran down her smooth back and moved to cup her backside, she moaned into my mouth and scraped her nails down my back in response.

She broke the kiss and looked up and smiled at me as I leant down and kissed her softly. I let my forehead rest gently on hers as we both tried to compose ourselves.

"How do you feel?" I asked her.

"I feel…strange. I feel safe, and happy, and content, and loved. And I can feel your presence in my heart".

I smiled at her. She looked serene, her eyes closed and her lips parted slightly.

"What does this mean?"

"Your heart has become whole once more. The reason that you have felt so agitated over the past few weeks, is because the bond needed to be exposed. Can you feel the difference?"

"Yes, I feel it". she said softly as she stepped closer to me and nuzzled her nose into the crook of my neck. I couldn't help but grin as I wrapped my arms around her body, holding her close. I could feel her warm breath on my neck and her hands playing with the hair on the nape of my neck. I sighed heavily, making her giggle. I was content just to be here. I shifted my weight slowly as my body betrayed my emotions. Thalia laughed slightly as she placed her hand on my shoulder letting me know that it was alright.

I closed my eyes and rested my chin on her head.

"Shall we go?" she asked me lazily.

"No, we shall stay her tonight and then continue on to Rivendell at first light"

"Hmm hmm", she responded lazily.

"Tired, melamin?"

"mmm".

I chuckled lightly as I lifted her out of the water and set her down on the soft grass. She lay on the grass, watching me as I went about finding blankets and making a fire.

We sat watching the flames of the fire dance merrily. I sat with my back against a tree, one hand behind my head the other stroking Thalia's hair as her head lay on my lap. She lay with a soft smile gracing her lips, drawing small circles on my thighs.

We sat like this for most of the night, talking or just sitting in silence and enjoying each others company.

Our souls and hearts have finally become one. Only one thing remained to be done, and that would happen when we were both ready, but for now, we were content.


	23. Home

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it's not mine!!!!!!

Benjadoll- lol- fab review- although you should stay off the sugar. Hope you had a happy Australia day.

Kerla- hugs Kerla thanks- save what you wish, I'm just happy that you like it so much.

Uhhh. . . . I have no name- insolence will not be tolerated- only joking, thanks for once again reviewing.

Andrea- thank you- that's so nice.

Ok people- I know that I haven't named everybody but that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate your reviews- thanks!

* * *

The rest of the trip has been brilliant, I can honestly say that for the first time since I've been in Middle-Earth, I'm not thinking about anything else other than the elf I love. Cheesy I know but, hey- I really do.

Since that night at the spring I've felt like I've been on a permanent sugar high, it's weird, and nice. I keep getting butterflies in my stomach when I feel Legolas arms round me or when I wake up in the morning and he smiles at me. I feel like a schoolgirl with her first crush.

I felt what he felt, I could feel the confusion when I cracked a joke about something from home, I could feel his amusement when I failed to do something and started ranting at an inanimate object. I felt his love every time he cuddled me, when he kissed me it felt so intense, it almost made me squirm it was that intense. My body tingled every time he brushed his hand against mine, or hugged me or if he looked at me in a certain way.

I had started noticing certain things about him, his eyes changed colour according to his mood. If he was angry or passionate about something, they would turn dark, almost black. If he was happy they would glow bright blue. If he was confused or thinking they would turn a stormy grey. He kept me fascinated for hours.

I had discovered that his favourite scent, apart from vanilla, was lavender- which I had teased him mercilessly about, for which he got his revenge by reciprocating when I told him that if he wasn't there I still slept with a small teddy that I had found in my bag.

We shared likes and dislikes. We both enjoyed gazing at the stars for hours, and our taste in art were similar. We liked proper art- think paintings by Waterhouse or Constable, NOT any of that so called art, think Turner Prize type stuff. That is NOT art, any four years old could do better than some of that stuff. Sorry- but its not, it's awful. When I'd described Turner type stuff, he'd established the same opinion as me.

Lying awake all night talking and cuddling, and then waking up in his arms and seeing his smile was blissful. I had never felt so…alive.

"Legolas, Thalia", I was pulled out of my thoughts by a very cheerful Erestor.

I hadn't even noticed that we'd come through the gates let alone made it to the court yard.

I leapt off the horse, leaving an amused Legolas behind and threw my arms around Erestor's neck.

"Erestor! it's so good to see you".

"It is good to see you back Thalia, and Elladan did not do you justice. You make a beautiful elf".

I laughed at him, " You don't know where Glorfindel is do you?" I asked.

"Right here yelde" I spun round to see him right behind me waiting for me with open arms. Beside him stood Haldir, the twins, Lindir and Lord Elrond.

I hugged Glorfindel first, then Haldir then Lindir then I was swept up into a joint hug from the twins.

"Arrghhh, guys, I need air" I managed to get out before they squeezed me to death. Instead of putting me down they handed me to Legolas, who stood with an impish grin on his face. He leaned down and kissed me sweetly making a jolt pass through me.

Then he put me down.

It was time to face Lord Elrond, I was not looking forward to this, I had a feeling that by dawn tomorrow I would be lined up and shot.

He smiled at me and opened one arms, indicating for me to walk with him. With one last look at the guys over my shoulder, I joined Elrond.

---

I watched Thalia embrace Erestor from the balcony of my study. She looked radiant. Her hair shining in the warm sun, she stood straight and confident. It was a far cry from the broken young woman we had left behind only ten days ago.

I left the room quickly and entered the courtyard. She turned round as I called to her. A look of delight, filling her eyes as she embraced me.

From the corner of my eye I saw Elrond approach. I had no idea how she was going to react to him. Judging by her current mood I would say that she was prepared to sit and talk to him. But then again, her moods could rapidly change and she could surprise me.

I watched as she embraced everybody with a smile and a kiss. I was mildly surprised when she hugged Lindir fiercely, I had no idea that they were so friendly. I made a note to ask one of them what secrets they had been keeping. Seeing her laugh and joke with the twins brought such relief to me. At moments like these she truly looked like a child, laughing and playing. Legolas made his way down the path from the stables and laughed as Thalia screamed when Elrohir tickled her. Seeing Legolas they handed her to him and he took her in his arms with such reverence and care. The love he felt for her showing clearly for all to see. I shared a grin with Haldir as we observed the couple.

He put her down on the ground and gently pushed her forward as Elrond beckoned to her. Before he left, Elrond nodded at me, that was some comfort, she would be safe, he was a healer and a wise elf and I trusted him to look after my daughter.

"Come on Glorfindel, we still have things to do". Elladan said as he slung his arm around my shoulders.

I smiled as I thought about what we had done over the past few days. We had decorated Thalia's new room for her. She would be pleased with it, I was sure, or rather, they would. Legolas would also stay with her of course, they would have it no other way, and they were practically married now anyway. Sighing happily I turned round and followed everybody back into the house, there were still a few things that need to be put into her room to make it complete. Legolas shot me a confused glance, and I explained to him as we made our way to his new quarters.

---

I desperately wanted to have a bath, I felt dirty and my muscles ached. But I had to talk to him before I did anything else. I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye. I felt so guilty, I had treated him unjustly and there was no excuse for my behaviour.

"Welcome home Thalia. I am happy that you have decided to return to Imladris…"

"Lord Elrond, I am sorry to interrupt, but I cannot stand here and listen to this. I have treated you unfairly and wrongly and without good reason. The curtsey that you have bestowed upon me was more than generous and I repay you by treating you like…like…a disease or something. It was not fair and it was not right and I don't now how you can stand there and be nice to me, because right now, not even I could be as nice to me as you're being"

I was half proud and half disgusted at myself, I had just not only interrupted him but I had shouted at him as well. I cringed and closed my, waiting for him to hit me or something.

He laughed, his soft melodious laughter rang in my ears. I opened one and cocked my head. What's so funny?

He chuckled and opened his arms to me. "Thalia, Now I see why you and my sons get on so well. I just looked at him.

"You sound like Elrohir, always trying to apologise for things that were not of your own doing. You did what you had to. And at that time you felt threatened…am I right?" I nodded. " you had all the reason to push me away, you didn't want to get hurt again. I understand completely. Look at me Thalia".

right now, I was content to trace the pattern on his robes, I had no wish to look him in the eye. But I did. His quicksilver eyes locked on mine and I couldn't move. I saw his feet and heard the swish of his robes as he stepped forward. I closed my eyes as he lifted my head.

"Open your eyes Thalia". I obeyed.

There was nothing but love and wisdom in those eyes. He knew what he was talking about, after all her was thousands of years old. I gained a new respect for him at that moment.

"Welcome home Thalia, daughter of Glorfindel and beloved of Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood".

I stepped forward and hugged him tightly, he returned the embrace with a chuckle.

"You are like my sons. There will be a feast this eve, to welcome you to your new home, although I do not know how long you will stay here. My daughter will come along to your room in a few hours, I am sure that you will enjoy each others company".

I felt giddy, I was home. And I was starting a whole new life, and I was finally going to meet Arwen, thank god. There are some things that you cannot discuss with males.

Feeling happy I kissed Elrond on the cheek and skipped off through the garden to go and find Adar.


	24. Legolas

Disclaimer- I own nothing- got it!!!

Selayawen- this chapter's for you, I'd already written this but since you wanted more of Leggy- hope you like it.

Uhhh. . . . I have no name- of course you are, how could I doubt you? The clouds are for you- you'll know what I mean.

Lady Viola- aww thanks- that's so nice.

Thanks to all my reviewers- keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

My mind and my heart were free. We shared everything together. Watching the stars and talking all night had never been more enticing. I loved the way the fire lit her face and made her eyes sparkle.

My heart would warm just watching her. I studied her and I could never tire of it. Her eyes are the colour of a clear summer sky, but if she was angry they would turn silver, if she was happy they would turn a sapphire blue.

The way she twirled her hair round her fingers when she was bored, and the way she chewed her bottom lip when she was in deep thought, or if she was uncomfortable or nervous she would play with the hem on her shirt. She was so innocent in some ways. She was playful and was always laughing. My heart skipped a beat every time she laughed, it sounded like bells chiming and it warmed me to the core.

My thoughts were clearer than they had been in centuries. My focus was on the moment. Holding my love close to me at night and feeling her warm breath against my skin, the taste of her when we kissed. Without knowing it she had given me a new life. A life of love. Before I had met her, my life had mostly been that of a warrior and a prince. But there had always been something missing. There was nobody there to welcome me home with open arms and a sweet kiss when I arrived home. There was no-one to come home to and tell them about my day. For centuries I had wanted nothing more than someone to love and be loved in return. And I had found her.

Admittedly, it has not been easy, and it is not over. It will take her years for her to recover. I still worried for her. But I would be here, I would never leave her. And she would have her Adar and the twins. And I am sure that Elrond would always be there if she asked. And she had Haldir and Galadriel and Celeborn. The relationship that she had built with the Lord and Lady surprised me. To most they were aloof, but they had welcomed Thalia with a love that they reserved for few.

I have what I had always wished for, and I hope that I am able to fulfil her wishes.

I had spent a lot of time thinking about our future. Whether we were going to live in Imladris or Mirkwood.

It was my thinking that it would be better for us to stay in Imladris for at least a hundred years. I couldn't wait to write to Adar, he would be pleased, as would naneth, she would be glad to see me bound and would be glad of the female company.

I had been reluctant to get to Imladris. To sleep out in the forest, holding the woman I love close, and gazing at the stars all night, was blissful. I had never felt this way before.

Leaving Thalia with Lord Elrond made me anxious for some reason, there was no reason why it should, and he was among the wisest elves that I had met. But it did not feel right. I worried for her, after seeing her so broken only days ago, I was feeling reluctant to leave her at all.

Glorfindel looked at me, he felt the same way. I could see the relief that he felt at having her back.

Haldir turned round to look at me, and I knew that when he had told me to take Thalia, he had known something more, I would ask him later.

As we walked through the many corridors to the private quarters of Elrond's family, Erestor and Glorfindel and now myself and Thalia.

"I must be blunt Legolas, do you plan on residing here in Imladris?"

Glorfindel asked me, a look of pleading and hope present in his eyes.

"I do. Right now, my concern is only for Thalia. I shall write to my father later on and explain my actions and my intentions"

Relief flooded his eyes as he nodded. "And what are your intentions Legolas?"

"Myself and Thalia shall reside her for at least the next hundred years or more if needed. Then we may move to Mirkwood. But of course, that depends on what my father says, I may have to leave here from time to time".

"Of course. My heart sings to hear that Legolas. She loves you, and you make her happy. And I would very much like to spend some time with her and get to know her. You have lifted her heart Legolas, her spirit shines through without restraint. And we have you to thank for it".

I felt a grin make its way across my face and I started laughing. "Glorfindel, you are most welcome, I would do anything for her, as would you".

He smiled and clasped my shoulder, "Come, there is something you must see".

I cocked my head in question but her just laughed and refused to answer.

We stopped when we came to a double door, I glanced at Elrohir quizzically but he gave nothing away, Haldir stepped forward and opened the door.

"Welcome to your new quarters Legolas, these will be yours and Thalia's". Glorfindel said.

It was beautiful. The room had been painted in a soft ivory colour, the ceiling had been painted in many shdes of white and ivory to make it seem like soft clouds. The curtains surrounding the balcony and the bed were a pearl white. Gold had been used to accent certain features in the room. In the corner stood a statue of a mother holding a small child. Glorfindel must have seen my gaze, he told me that it had been fashioned from the mural that was painted on the ceiling in Thalia's old room, she had loved that painting so much that the elves had sculpted a statue for her. The wardrobe was a light mahogany, with vines carved into it, the dresser was the same. A golden harp stood proudly near the balcony. Chairs, and what Thalia called a 'couch', had been placed around the blazing fire. The fire surround was beautiful, it had vines painted with gold running though the design and at the top was the crest of Mirkwood, my crown placed upon the leaf, and entwined with my crown lay a small circlet, Thalia. My heart leapt as I though of her standing next to me in Mirkwood's throne room, in her rightful place as princess of Mirkwood, and then later as queen. The thought almost brought tears to my eyes. To be able to share the rule of a kingdom with her and then be able to retire to our rooms during the evening and just be Legolas, a husband and hopefully, father, instead of merely a King. The thought made me realise that I need her just as much as she needed me.

The large four poster bed was splendid, it too had the crest of Mirkwood carved into it, the bed posts had been carved with vines and flowers. The sheets were a beautiful golden colour that shimmered in the light, the pillows were the same colour except they had had been detailed with pearl white beads.

The room was truly beautiful, we would be happy here.

"You have my many thanks", I managed to say.

"It was a pleasure, we just hope that Thalia like it". Haldir said.

"She will love it", just then the door opened and Thalia bounced in with a huge smile on her face,

"Wow…" she stooped in her tracks as she took in the room.

"This, is your new room. Until you move to Mirkwood" Glorfindel told her.

She looked at me, "We won't be moving yet will we", and a scared look in her eyes. I smiled,

"No, not for a long while my love", she grinned and ran over to me. Her scent engulfed my senses as she embraced me. I pushed her back a little and captured her lips with mine. She tasted so sweet. She ran her velvety tongue across my bottom lip, making me chuckle. I let my hands run though her soft hair and tangle in them. I heard someone laugh and Glorfindel, Haldir and the twins excused themselves and left us alone. I could feel her desire fuelling mine as we battled fiercely. Her hands found their way under my tunic and she lightly ran her fingers across my chest, I sucked in a breath as she teased my nipples, making her laugh quietly.

I pressed her body to mine in a desperate bid to regain control. My fingers working franticly, trying to undo the laces of her dress. Finally they came undone. She moaned as my hands gently cupped her breasts, she released my mouth and trailed her tongue along my sensitive ears, nibbling on it gently, a rush of desire coursed through me. My fingers delicately kneaded her breasts, making her moan. She laid her head down on my shoulder, yawning. Smiling I pulled her to me and embraced her tightly.

"I love you", she whispered to me.

"I love you too melamin".

I gently lifted her up and carried her over to our bed and laid her down. She looked up at me with sleep laden eyes.

"I'll be back in a moment", I told her. I went to the bathroom and came back to find her already undressed and almost asleep. I smiled at her appearance as I remove my clothes and joined her. It was only midday but we both extremely tired, neither of us had slept much on the journey home. I pulled her to me. Her body moulded into mine, her leg slipped between mine as usual. Her soft skin against mine felt so right.

I lay looking at her sleeping face for hours, the emotions that I had left sealed within me, finally making themselves known as I silently cried. It had been one exhausting test after another. Looking back at the past few months and how many times I had almost lost her made my chest tighten. I gathered her to me as feelings of uncertainty and frustration washed over me.


	25. Bad news

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh oh oh oh- hugs crazy-4-pippin- thank you soooooo much. I never go more than three days with out updating. I hope you're ok. If you ever want to chat e-mail me- that goes for anybody- I can guarantee that I'll talk, at great length, whether you want me to or not.

Uhhh. . . . . I have no name- once again thank you. However, I do not think that lord Elrond would be impressed with a full size Dragon running around Imladris- do you? Oh -and let me know when you post your first fanfic.

Laura- as always- thank you, it's always a pleasure to hear from you.

GreenEyedElfGoddess- thank you- wow, all in one sitting- I'm impressed and honoured

Thanks to all those who reviewed- keep em coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

It was so dark, and cold. I could feel a breeze blowing forcefully across my skin. It wasn't a comforting breeze, like those on a summer day, it was a harsh wind that chilled me to the bone. I stood carefully, not wanting to get any colder, but no wished to remain in the dark either. I stretched my arms out, desperately searching for something to hold onto. My bare feet were painful on the frozen floor. I could feel my teeth chattering. My hand brushed up against something and a light flew on.

I gasped as I looked around.

I was in my old bedroom, everything still in its place. It was just as I had left it. My bed made and the curtains drawn. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. It had been so long since I had been here. I had missed it, actually, no I hadn't. I had hardly thought about home. I didn't want to think of what I'd left behind. To think of my mum and my brother and sister made my heart clench. I heard the front door slam.

I stretched my hand towards the door, but my hand went straight through the handle, I tried again, but again it went straight through.

Tentatively, I shut my eyes and walked through the door.

I opened one eye and carefully looked around, the door to my sisters room was open and low music was floating down the hallway. It was Bach, she loved classical music. I made my way to her room to find my sister lying on the floor, curled up. Her face pale and her eyes red rimmed as if she had spent hours crying.

"Susan, Susan". No response. I walked over to her and bent down, "Susan!" I shouted. But nothing.

I desperately tried to figure it out. I'm dead here, I killed myself, or did I? How come she can't hear me. Or am I not dead and this is just a dream. But everything seems so real, except for the fact that I can't touch anything, which is weird.

Shaking my head I left her and went downstairs.

I could hear the TV blaring. Jerry Springer was chatting away about some useless subject as usual. I walked into the kitchen to find a scene that I never though I'd have to see.

My brother Matt, was sprawled on the small couch which we kept in the connected dining room. That in itself was nothing new. But the leggy blonde, crawling all over him and he bottle of Vodka that he had clutched in his hand were. Never in all my life had I thought that this is what would become of my brother.

Where were mum and 'dad'. I turned sharply on my heal and went back into he living room. My eyes scanned every inch of the room trying to find a clue as to where they might be.

As I was about to give up my eyes rested on the coffee table where a spread newspaper lay, a half filled coffee cup keeping it open.

" Mother of two killed by wayward husband "

the headline filled me with panic, but when I saw the picture I snapped. Big fat tears making their way down my cheeks and splashing onto the paper, smudging the words.

"…whose twenty one year old daughter committed suicide earlier this year", my eyes read on, "…multiple stab wounds in the chest".

Oh my god, he'd stabbed my mother to death. What about him,

"…was found hung in his cell in the early hours of the morning".

I was numb. The tears had stopped. He'd killed her and killed himself. Part of me felt relief, but the vengeful part of me felt cheated. He killed himself, he didn't have to live with what he'd done. That's not fair.

If this was home and I'd been given the chance to come back for a little while, I wanted to know why. It was just cruel. To see my brother and sister like this and to find out that my mum was dead.

I backtracked. Does that mean that she'll come to Middle-Earth like I did? But if she does, doesn't that mean that he'll come to.

My thoughts went to Legolas. My elf. I know that he'd protect me, and I'd love for him to meet my mum. She'd love him. But if he found my dad, I'm so sure I'd wan to be around to witness what happened. Or Adar or Haldir…and the twins, for that matter. It wouldn't be pretty.

I felt tired and my eyes lids started to close against my will. I wanted to stay behind and help, or just have one last look at everything.

I looked down at myself- I was back in Middle-Earth. It was as if I was floating above me and Legolas.

We looked so sweet. The sun coming through the windows. His arms tightly wrapped around me. His golden hair flowing down our shoulders. A small and very sexy smile was playing on his soft lips.

The covers had come down while we were sleeping and were now tangled round our waists, revealing more that I'd normally care too. But I had changed while I had been in Middle-Earth.

I didn't deserve him. He looked so angelic lying there. And there was me, in his arms, with scarred arms and a hideous chest. The scars stood out a mile to me. Legolas assured me that when I had become elven they had faded a little, but they were still there, plain as day.

My eyes were watering again. And I was beginning to wonder whether this was a dream or not, well course it's a dream, normally, people don't float on mid air!

But I did want to know what was going on, why had I gone home.

I felt a jolt and then everything went black again.

---

I felt Thalia shoot up from the confines of my arms. Her shoulders shook violently and her breath came in ragged succession.

I got up and sat in front of her. Her face was ashen and her eyes wide. She put her hand up and grasped mine.

"I…can't…breathe…Elrond"

ignoring the cold stone against my bare feet, I quickly threw on a robe and asked the nearest person to go and retrieve Elrond. And then raced back into our room.

Thalia was now sat with her back against the headboard desperately trying to catch her breath. Her eyes found mine. I could see that she was beginning to panic as tears gathered at the corners of her eyes.

Her long hair fell from its binding, shrouding her face. I was by her side instantly. I couldn't come up with any solutions. I reached for her and gently put my hand on her back, rubbing in large circles, hoping to somehow soothe her. Her arms weakly gripped mine in a frantic bid for help.

"Shh, shh. It's alright Elrond's on his way. Shh".

My words were not having much effect and I was not sure whether they were to soothe her or me.

The time seemed to pass very slowly. Thalia was getting no better and Elrond had not yet arrived.

My head shot up as Elrond, clad in his normal robes of deep red, burst through the door, followed by Haldir and a dishevelled Glorfindel.

Elrond set to work immediately. He motioned for me to move, and he gently pushed her, face down into my chest. His hands roamed around her back searching for something. I could feel the front of my robe become wet with her tears as she tried to breathe.

I watched as he pushed on the bottom of her back, it seemed to help her a little but she still could not draw breath. He pulled her up and laid her torso on his. He put his hand under her breasts and pushed until her breathing became normal.

She closed her eyes as her tears ceased. I felt my heart jump as she opened them slowly, the remaining tears falling from her lashes. She tiredly held out her arms and I instantly gathered her into my arms.

I looked over her shoulder at Elrond.

"What happened?"

"She has moved through the Realms"

"What do you mean?" Haldir asked from his seat next to the bed.

"for some reason the Valar had given her a chance, for some unknown reason, to let her go back to her home for a short while"

"And she did that, in her dreams?"

"But how? She does not bear a ring of power. And is it not true that only those who bear a ring can travel through the realms", I frowned at Glorfindel's words and looked down at Thalia, who still had her head buried in my chest.

Elrond stood and made his way to the door.

"I can say only this. There will be trials ahead, however, it is not my place to tell you".

And he left, giving us no further indication of the meaning behind his words.

Glorfindel approached the bed and sat down behind Thalia. putting one hand on her back he asked her whether she knew what Elrond had said.

She looked up at me wearily and sat up.

"Alright. I'll tell you".

Haldir rose from his seat and joined us on the bed.

"In my dreams I went home. My room was the same, nothing at all had changed, and it was as if I had never left. I left my room and found my sister. She was huddled in a ball on her floor. Her room was a mess, there were clothes on the floor and books on her bed. That wasn't like her.

I went downstairs and found my brother, he was sat on the couch in the dining room. Some blonde slut was all over him. And he'd been drinking. He never used to drink".

Her eyes glazed and she moved away from me, drawing her knees up and resting her head on them. My body already missed her heat and I yearned to hold her again. I managed to restrain myself as I reminded myself of the situation. I had thought my love was going to die. I could not stand to lose her. I had felt her desperation and pain through our bond, yet I could do nothing.

"I went into the living room and I saw the paper. There was a picture of my mother on it," her voice cracked as she struggled to maintain her composure, " she'd been killed. It said multiple stab wounds, so that means that she could've been stabbed anything from five to at least fifteen times. And he killed her".

A sharp jolt of pain passed through our bond as her composure broke and she sobbed. I could not move, her pain was too much for her handle.

"But what if she's here, I came here when I killed myself, so does that mean that's she's here as well? And him, he must be here, it said that he'd killed himself while he was in prison. He'll come and get me, he'll get me. And he'll kill me or take me away".

Glorfindel reached out to her and she moved away from him. My eyes followed her broken form to the bathroom. I heard the lock click and water begin to run.

"I shall go and ask Elrond about this, he will know what has become of them, maybe they are here. I shall inform you as soon as I know".

"We should leave her to bathe". Haldir said as he rose from his seat, I will come by later and see how she is".

"Will you send word when you can, I do not wish my daughter to succumb to grief"

I nodded my head in understanding. I felt the same. Already I could feel her grief for her mother setting within her

---

I couldn't believe that my mum was dead. Part of me was happy and hopeful, maybe she had come here. It's possible. But if she was here, he was probably here with her. And he'd come and get me. He wouldn't let me stay with Adar and Legolas.

Legolas, I wanted so much to go and crawl into his lap and just hug him and never let go. But I had put him through enough and it wasn't fair to tell him.

I crawled over to the washbasin and got my make-up bag. There was a spare razor in there. Once again, as I had done many times before, I drew the blade across my skin. And it hurt. It actually hurt. It hasn't hurt me in years. It felt delicious. Some part of me wanted to hurt, wanted to punish myself for something. I had hurt my family and my friends and I should be punished for it.

I cut slowly and deeply. Each cut getting a little deeper than the last. Until finally I felt exhausted.

I set the razor down and took off the night-dress I was wearing.

The bathroom was gorgeous. It was a beige colour with light grey tiles on the floor and the same cloud-like painting on the ceiling.

I sat in the bath for a least an hour, I was too occupied with my thoughts to notice the time. I was quite happy sitting there, until Legolas knocked on the door and startled me out of my thoughts. It's not his fault, it's just that he interrupted a really good brooding session.

"Glorfindel has news of your family",

I immediately got out of the bath and threw on a bathrobe. I nearly stormed out of the room and ran through Adar.

I gave him a quick hug before he could say anything. His smell comforted me. His broad shoulders gave me a sense of being protected, and as long as Adar was around, nothing could get me.

Reluctantly I moved back and let him talk.

"Thalia, your mother is in Middle-Earth. Scouts have been sent out to try and find her. However, this also means that you father is also here.

I could feel my legs starting to fail me and Legolas appeared from nowhere and grabbed me before I could hit the floor.

I felt tired and I wanted to sleep. I just wanted it all to stop. I had finally been happy. I had an elf that loved me. A father and three new brothers. I was happy.

Was that not good enough for them- stupid Valar.

I broke away from Legolas and got into bed, not bothering to get changed.

I closed my eyes and gave into sleep- where hopefully, nothing would get me.

---

I watched her let go of Legolas and crawl into bed. She looked so young and I was reminded how young she actually was. Yet she had been through much.

She looked angelic. Her face bathed in the soft light, hair spread about her face.

I turned back to Legolas. This was important. I knew how I felt and had no doubts to how he felt.

"Her father is here Legolas" I spat out the word father. He was no father. A man who beat his child, who drove his child to suicide, he was no father.

Legolas' eyes widened and a look of malice and hatred appeared in his eyes. The mask of indifference slipping for once.

"Scouts have reported seeing a male of the same description that Thalia gave us. He is also wearing clothing of similar fabrics to those which she has arrived in. We are sure that it is him".

"What will be done?" he hissed. I had rarely seen Legolas show such contempt for another being.

"He will be found, and he will be brought to trial"

I walked over to my daughter and kissed her brow before turning to leave.

"He will be found Legolas"

and with that I bid him good night, I very much doubted that they would be joining us for dinner this eve. Elrond would postpone the feast.

Unbeknownst to them all. A dark figure stood among the trees, watching and waiting.


	26. Mummy

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it's not mine!!!!!!!!!

Wow I have to use cliff hangers more often- you lot review more if I do.

* * *

Over the next few days I avoided talking to many people. I spent a few hours with Erestor and Lindir but aside from that, I stayed in my room. I didn't want to talk to anybody.

Adar and the twins had stopped by almost every couple of hours. Haldir would come and sit with me. We wouldn't talk or anything, but it was comforting. He didn't expect anything from me.

And Legolas. I felt so awful for not speaking to him. I loved him so much, but I couldn't tell him. I had put him though so much and to tell him my thoughts now…well I really couldn't.

Elrond had given me a sedative so that I wouldn't wake up in the night. The problem was, it also meant that I wouldn't wake up for a few hours, and nothing was going to wake me- not even a dragon breathing down my neck, or a dwarf for that matter.

I felt like I was being watched all the time. I felt like I was on some twisted version of Big Brother, which just made my imagination spiral until I came up with the worst possible scenarios.

I was doing my head in.

---

Glorfindel was down the hall sitting in his study. The light shone through the large balcony window, glinting off of the swords and knives that had been mounted on the wall. His study was dark, he always preferred to work in the dark with nothing but the firelight and maybe a few well placed candles. The walls had been painted deep red. In the centre, in front of a large bookcase, sat an ornately carved desk. A high backed leather chair sat proudly behind it, currently occupied by the Elf Lord himself.

Glorfindel sat with a frown upon his face, slumped in his chair and his hands steepled. A habit he had picked up from Elrond and surprisingly, it helped him think.

It was nearing a week since Thalia had emerged form her room for more than a couple of hours. She was worrying me. She had withdrawn from everybody again. I couldn't help but cast my mind back to the last time that she had withdrawn. My head was beginning to pound and soon it was beginning to hinder my thoughts.

A knock on the door brought me back to reality.

"Enter". Whoever it was better had a good reason for disturbing me.

I was more than surprised when Analdor came though the door.

"My lord, I apologise for the interruption. Lord Elrond has sent me to inform you that Lady Thalia's mother has been found".

I stood up, "Where is she?"

"She is with Lord Elrond in his study".

I barely gave him chance to finish before I left the room. I had to get Thalia first then, take her to her mother.

I was nervous about meeting her mother. I hoped that she would approve of my adoption of Thalia.

"Thalia!", I burst through the door to see a sobering scene. She was lying on the middle of the bed staring into nowhere. The bed seemed to swallow her whole and made her look so small. Haldir sat in a chair next to her bed. He didn't even look at me, his gaze remained fixed on Thalia.

"Thalia", I spoke softly to her, hoping to get a response. She slowly looked up at me. I bent down to her eye level, "Thalia, your mother is here". She shot off the bed and left the room at a run.

Haldir smiled at me before following.

Sighing, I shook my head and followed the two of them. I was not sure about this. When I had told her, she had not smiled, she had not acknowledged the information, her only action being to leave the room. she probably knew where her mother was. Elrond normally received guests in his study and she was well aware of this.

---

My mum was here, she was here in Middle- Earth. I didn't know what to think. Was I happy. I should be. Or was I sad, after all she was dead. And does that mean that's she's human in this world, so she'll still grow old and die. And I won't. I was numb, I really didn't know what to think.

I had walked while thinking and had missed the view of the garden that I loved so much. The view from here was beautiful. The waterfall provided a perfect backdrop for the gorgeous gardens.

I stopped outside Elrond's study door. Everything was so quiet. I could've heard a pin drop. I quickly did a spot check on my clothing, my dress was all wrinkled and my hair was surely a mess. Did it matter, no. I think I was just stalling for time. why would I stall for time, I was giving myself a headache.

"Are you alright?" I jumped as Haldir put his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine" Liar, I was not fine. I wanted Legolas. I wanted him to come and tell me that everything was going to be alright.

"Where's Legolas?"

"A guard from Mirkwood arrived earlier to sort out a few things with him. Would you like me to go and get him?"

I nodded. That explains it, he wouldn't just abandon me.

Haldir disappeared down the corridor as Adar approached. He smiled, he was as uncertain about his as I was, I could see it in his eyes.

"Adar I love you", I said as I stepped forward and hugged him. He returned my hug just as tightly. He was my father. He would never hurt me, he would go out of his way to protect me, and he would always be there for me, no matter the day or time. like the other night when I woke up. It was about three in the morning and I just wanted a hug. I knocked on the door and he opened his door for me, he didn't mind. He just told me to get into bed and I slept in his arms for the rest of the night. Childish I know, but I never had that, and at that moment all I wanted was my Adar.

"I love you too, my daughter". He kissed the crown of my head and stepped back. "ready to see your mother?"

I nodded and turned round. I quickly turned the handle. If I'd done it slowly, I would have run away. I opened the door. Elrond was sitting beside the fire talking to someone who had their back to me, and because the chairs were high backed, I couldn't see who it was, but I already knew.

He looked up and smiled at me. The person in the other chair stood up, a blanket was shrouding their figure and they were still shivering despite the blazing fire and the thick blanket .

Bright eyes, identical to mine shone out from behind the tangled mass of blonde hair.

My heart clenched and I stood still. I could hear the blood pouncing in my ears and my quick breath, I opened my mouth and said the only thing that came to mind…

…"Mummy"


	27. Suspicion

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it's not mine!!!!!!

* * *

Time stood still for a minute. I couldn't move, part of me wanted to go and hug her, but the other part of me screamed at me, something was wrong, this was not my mother.

I was confused. Haldir had once told me that no matter what, I should always trust my instincts.

But Elrond didn't seem to think anything was wrong.

My gut was threatening something, there was something desperately wrong, this being was not my mother, she looked the same, and she even smelt the same. The scent of her favourite perfume overtook my senses for a minute. And for a short minute I felt like a child again.

"Thalia, will you not come over here and give your mother a hug?"

The voice was my mothers, but there was a sickly sweet undertone to it that my mother never had.

I unconsciously stepped back until I accidentally ran into Adar. I looked up at him as he put his hands on my shoulders. I must have given something away as he looked pointedly at Elrond.

"This must be a lot for you to take it Thalia, why don't you go and have lunch and relax for a while, while I talk to your mother.

I nodded and left, as I left I caught my 'mothers' eye, she grinned evilly, malice and hatred shone from within their depths.

I started and hurriedly left. The image of her eyes still clearly in my mind. It terrified me. It wasn't my mum. I wanted so much, for her to be my mum, but she wasn't. was it something in her body, had she been possessed? Was it something just pretending to be mum? A thousand thoughts ran through my mind, each ending in the same thing…she wasn't my mum.

I could hear somebody calling me in the background, it sounded far away and I couldn't place it.

"Thalia!" I snapped out of it and came face to face with Legolas. Without thinking I threw my arms around him and buried my head in his shoulder. I don't know what was wrong with me.

"Shhh, my love. Why are you crying?" He asked me softly as he stroked my hair.

"There is nothing to cry about, melamin, you have your mother now", I felt my body tense at his words. Gently he pulled me back and looked into my eyes, he knew there was something wrong.

"What is it?" he demanded gently but forcefully, his tone left no room for discussion.

I didn't want to tell him in case I was wrong or I caused trouble, but the tiny Haldir that seemed to sit on my shoulder a lot lately, urged me to tell him.

"Legolas", I whispered, " that's not my mother. I mean…well it is her, or it or she or whatever it is looks like her. But it's not. I can't explain, but that is not my mother!"

I almost screamed the last words out. I wanted to smash something or break something.

I must have been crying as Legolas brushed his fingertips lightly across my cheeks.

"she's not my mum, she's not, she's not…" I cried as he embraced me again.

I felt him pick me up and carry me outside.

"Where are we going?"

"To the gardens love".

I nodded against his neck. His scent overwhelming me and comforting me. I felt like crying again.

"Where has Adar gone?"

"He went to talk to the guards".

"Oh…ok". What did he need to talk to the guards about?

---

" Your highness, if we double the guards, does that not leave us weak to the west?"

I was in the middle of a council with Huror about the increasing attacks that had been made on Mirkwood.

My father had given me permission to stay in Imladris for as long as I needed. I had explained the situation to him and he was more than willing to give me leave. My mother had been overjoyed. I had a few letters from them that I would read later.

Haldir approached us without restraint and told me the bare facts. Thalia's mother had been found and she didn't know how to deal with it. I could feel her uncertainty but could get no other feelings. However the dark look in his eyes was enough to make me leave. We left with an apology to Huror.

My feet could not get me there fast enough. Thoughts were swirling around my head and I almost stopped dead when I saw Thalia standing outside Elrond's door. Her face pale but her cheeks flaming, tears making their way down her face and falling onto her dress in small droplets.

I couldn't discern any individual feelings from her. She was thinking too much and she was confused.

I asked her what was wrong and she only seemed to cry harder. I gently pulled her back into my arms, her panicked and devastated eyes looking at me.

It seemed that she didn't believe that the woman in Elrond's study was her mother. She believed it with all of her being, I could feel it.

Elrond already knew about her feelings, there was no doubt about that. Proving that the being was not who it said it was, was another matter altogether.

Shaking my head, I cast my thoughts to the trembling woman in my arms. she had told me about her relationship with her mother, she had seemed like a fine woman who had nothing but love for her daughter.

She leant up to me and kissed my cheek before putting her head on my shoulder and settling into my arms.

I took in the surrounding plants, there were flowers of every colour, it was almost as beautiful as my home, but then I am bias as it is indeed, my home. I sat her down upon the blue flowers which I felt mirrored her own eyes so much. She lay back, closing her eyes and taking in the warm rays of the sun. I lay down beside her, my head resting on one arm with one hand placed on her stomach. She giggled as I lightly tickled her stomach. I had longed to hear her laugh once more, if only for a short while. My heart lit up and a great fire sparked as she sat up her elbows and looked at me, her face smiling and joyous and without concern.

Laughing I put my hand behind her neck and kissed her, the fire within me grew as she responded forcefully. I could feel all of her anguish and self-hatred, though I knew not what she hated. I could see no bad, but then, once again I must confess that I am bias, for to me she is the most beautiful maiden that ever walked the ground. I opened my eyes as I felt my cheeks grow wet, they were not my tears, they were from her. It broke my heart to see her in such a state. But I knew that she needed this. I could give her unconditional love and right now she needed to feel loved. Her kiss grew more needy and I willingly complied. She was all but my wife and I would lay down my life for her. She broke away and held onto me as she cried out her sorrow.

It seemed so abstract, that she should be so sorrowful when we were bathing in what, at this moment seemed to be mocking sunlight.

We lay there among the flowers for quite sometime, simply content to be there. Until we heard an urgent cry.

"Ai! Ai! Prince Legolas. Prince Legolas! You must come quickly".

A guard shouted from the edge of the garden. Thalia was already on her feet and ready to go. We made our way toward the guard.

"What is it, why the urgency?" I asked a little too forcefully.

"It is my Lord Elrond, your highness, he has been stabbed"

Without further contemplation, we set out for the healing wing of the house.

We arrived at the wing just as a healer made his way out of the door, his expression was grim and his robes coloured with what I presumed to be Elrond's blood. I felt Thalia squeeze my hand seeking comfort. She looked shocked, her eyes wide and her hands fidgety.

"What news?" I asked.

"My lord was stabbed, three times in the chest. He has lost a lot of blood. But will recover within a week. He will however, need plenty of rest and he is not to be interrupted with work unless it is of some urgency".

I nodded, unable to express my thanks. Thalia rushed forward and hugged him, he looked somewhat surprised, but accepted the hug nonetheless.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you" she said repeatedly.

She let him go and returned to my side.

The healer chuckled and left us alone. Waiting for Elladan and Elrohir to finish talking with their father.

"Did you hear that?" Thalia asked me, a look of bewilderment on her face.

"Hear what?"

"Nothing, never mind"

She went quiet, her eyes scanning the room continuously. She yelped and jumped behind me desperately rubbing her arm.

"What is it?"

"I could swear something was whispered in my ear, but there's no one here. Then I felt someone squeeze my arm…" she trailed off, shaking her head, she must have dismissed the though. However, something had deeply unsettled me and I was thankful for the dagger which I always kept concealed in my boot.

I reached for Thalia's hand, I had to know where she was, something was not right. The air around us was filled with an evil presence.

Thalia screamed and squeezed my hand tightly as if she was in pain.

I turned round to see her, her eyes wide with fear and her body quivering. My eyes wandered down her body, near her waist was an imprint of a hand, as if somebody's hand was there but invisible. My gaze travelled back up her torso, and on her neck was the impression of somebody's hand holding her neck, she moved, pushed by the invisible body. She whimpered in fear her eyes pleading, her finger wrapping around mine. Her head jerked and a thin line of blood appeared on her neck and a voice on the air whispered,

"A warning, don't get too comfy my little slut".

Thalia fell to the floor and stared into nothingness. Her eyes unblinking. I bent down and pressed my hand to her neck, the cut was not bad and the bleeding was already stopping. It would be gone within a few days.

"Elrohir! Elrohir!" I shouted frantically. She had gone into shock and I knew that he had more experience with healing than I.

"What are you…" he trailed off as he saw the cause of my shouting. He kneeled down and looked into her face.

"lift her and carry her into the room, there is a spare bed, lay her on that".

I followed his instruction. I ignored Elrond's prone form on the bed, he was still pale but he had a healthy aura about him. Elladan looked at Thalia in concern, but knew better than to interrupt his brother.

"Here, make her drink this, it is bitter but it will do the job".

I supported her neck and made her sip the liquid. Her face scrunched up in distaste, making me chuckle, despite what had just happened. I needed to speak with Glorfindel about that. There was something evil afoot, and I was pretty sure that my suspicions were correct.

My guess was that, somehow, Thalia's father had come to Middle-Earth and had found the Wizard Saruman, it was known that he had turned from the light side and was beginning to discard the old ways. If her father had managed to obtain a potion or spell from Saruman that would enable him to change his form at will, it would be entirely possible for her father to be anywhere at anytime. It would explain how he had managed to get past the guard. But it does not explain how he knew of Thalia's mother, although I suppose he could have heard it from Saruman himself. Once the idea of her mother being in Middle-Earth had been implanted in Thalia's, it would have been easy for him to portray her mother, only she would know his true identity. And even if she didn't know who he was, she would know that her mother was not who she said she was. And it would make gaining access to Elrond easy, although the motive for such actions is unclear at the present moment.

My thoughts were plausible, or were they? It could be that I was over thinking the matter.

I heard Thalia yawn and I put my thoughts to the back of my head for a moment. She pulled me down and laid her head on my chest, making herself comfortable.

"I love you Legolas".

I kissed the crown of her head softly. Closing my eyes and savouring her scent and every curve of her body.

It seemed that no words were needed between us tonight.

I soon heard her breathing even out and knew that she was asleep.

I rose, intent on finding Glorfindel and delivering my theory.

"Elladan, would you mind watching over Thalia while I am gone?"

He chucked softly and chastised me for thinking that he would not do so.

I thanked him and took my leave.

If my theory was correct, we may not have a lot of time and Imladris could be under a serious threat.


	28. Plans and dreams

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it's not mine!!!!!!

Uhhh. . . . I have no name- they cannot have a dragon- however- I'll consider a puppy

Alicia- thanks, that actually means a lot

Corrina- also, thanks, it means a lot. I didn't want to write a conventional legomance- although they're good- it's all good

Lady Viola- We do not stick pins in Celeborn!!!- he's cute, even if he is a bit useless

Thanks to everybody who reviewed

* * *

Within an hour the guard had been more than doubled and had all been carefully checked. Movement and change about the house was recorded and watched carefully by everybody. So far nothing out of the ordinary had been reported.

Thalia had been sent to her room and had been ordered to stay there until, either I, Legolas, Glorfindel or one of the twins had given her permission to leave. Elrond had proposed that Thalia be watched at all times and had taken the task upon himself, during the day he would sit in her taking care of whatever he needed to do and conversing with Thalia. He had had a large impact on her. She had become withdrawn, not in a bad sense, she had become more of a thinker. She thought about her actions and had proved herself to be rather good at helping Elrond with his daily tasks.

I was nervous, although Elrond was recovering, a shadow still lingered, it hindered my every move, and although my duties in Lothlorien consisted of me being suspicious and watchful, this was worse. To look upon every elf with suspicion was not in anybody's nature and it was wearing on everybody.

I had been given the task of making sure that the guards were in fact who they were, it was not a pleasant idea, but it was necessary.

After carrying out my duties I made my way to Glorfindel's study. He had called a meeting, orcs had been reported to the east and a matter of confusion had to be addressed. During a shift change, one guard had been reported in two places at once. This was a great worry as the guard was supposed to be making sure that nobody made it into Thalia and Legolas' rooms.

I didn't bother knocking. When I entered, Glorfindel, Legolas and Elladan were sat around the desk and Thalia was sat in front of the fire, looking quite distraught, which was completely understandable. Elrohir was sat in front of her no doubt tying to calm her. She was no longer responding to Legolas or her Adar. They were too safe for her. They knew almost her every thought and that was scaring her. She no doubt felt intruded upon.

Elrohir said something and she began crying. I saw Legolas turn his head towards her, a pained look upon his face. I knew the feeling. But he could do nothing.

I shook my head in a feeble attempt to bring myself back to the matter at hand.

"Have a seat Haldir" Glorfindel said distractedly.

"It is useless. We cannot fight him". Elladan said from his seat beside me.

I was inclined to agree but the alternative scared me and I did not wish to consider it until we became desperate and had run out of other options.

"I am afraid that I must agree with Elladan, we cannot fight him. I have been thinking. It would be easier to capture him if we knew every move"

"You mean bait him?" Legolas asked apprehensively.

"I do. If we were able to carefully set a trap, we could easily capture him. From what Legolas has said and observed, even when the being is invisible, he still has a form. Therefore we know that he can be captured and once he is, he will have no escape"

All eyes went to Thalia, who was currently sat on Elrohir's lap. Her hands wrapped around his, playing absentmindedly with his fingers. Her eyes wide and glistening in the firelight.

"What do you think Thalia, would you be willing to participate in such a plan?"

She looked down at her entwined fingers, her brow furrowed and her lips set in a firm line. After a few moments she nodded,

"Yes, I will. But not because I want to. I just don't want anybody else to get hurt".

A look of shock and compassion crossed Glorfindel's face. He rose from his seat and went to kneel next to her.

"My daughter, Elrond was not harmed by you. It was not you who held the blade. And you cannot and must not, blame yourself for what has come to pass".

Thalia raised her head slowly and peered into her fathers eyes.

"I know" she said before hugging him.

She let go of him and got to her feet clapping her hands together,

"Well…what are you sitting around for, there are plans to be made".

"If anybody needs me I'll be with Elrond".

And then she left. Leaving them alone to discuss the matters of the confusion about the guard, which they did not want Thalia to know about.

---

I wasn't sure about this, at all. In fact right now, everything in me was screaming to just run away, from everything. I urged my feet to move and trained my eyes to look in front of me. I walked to my room, rather quickly. Elrond had practically moved into my room. not that I minded. It was nice to be able to talk to him, I'd actually learned a few things from him. He was teaching me the basics of healing at the moment, which was fun. So far I'd learnt a few things about how to stitch cuts and how to treat burns and breaks. I was seriously thinking of becoming a healer.

Knowing my dad was here was seriously wigging me out. I constantly felt like I was being watched…well…I was but I mean that in a bad way. And the sleeping stuff that Elrond had given me was no longer working, the nights were virtually sleepless. The dreams were getting worse. Well they weren't dreams, more like flash backs. And not only did I have the pleasure of watching it again, but I could feel it as well. I woke up screaming last night, or rather Legolas woke me up because I was screaming. I felt so awful for waking him. This wasn't his problem, it was mine, and it was my fault. I'd brought him here. And now Elrond had been stabbed. I had made things worse, this was all my fault. I could feel the old familiar feelings begin to resurface again. I hadn't cut in a few days. Slowly the days apart when I didn't cut were getting wider. But nothing else worked and I was running out of other options.

---

I had only been listening to Glorfindel half-heartedly. My eyes and my mind were on Thalia. watching her sitting in front of the fire with Elrohir sparked a little bit of jealousy with me, despite the fact that I knew that her heart belonged to me. I longed to be the one in Elrohir's place. I wanted to feel her body against mine and wrap my arms around her and tell her that everything would be alright.

I had tried to reassure her, but she was no longer listening to me, she thought that I was only reassuring her because I loved her. The truth was, that maybe she was correct. I was, and I was also trying to reassure myself. The incident with Elrond only proved that no one is safe.

---

Last night she had screamed and cried out in her sleep but yet had not woken herself nor did she remember the dream, or so she said.

The sun had set and everybody had retired to their bed.

The moon shone through the sheer drapes of the room, a soft breeze catching them, making them sway.

Legolas and Thalia had retired earlier than most and now slept, Thalia somewhat fitfully. She tossed and turned, sweat beading on her forehead, the covers twisted around her legs and waist. She cried out, waking Legolas. She began to struggle and her fists flew, hitting Legolas in the jaw. He grimaced in pain.

She screamed, her face twisted in terror at whatever it was that she was faced with and hit out at an invisible, still locked with her dream. She was becoming increasingly violent.

Legolas immediately got up and straddled her, sitting on her legs and holding her wrists above her head. He leant down, his unbound hair lightly covering her face as he whispered to her.

Slowly her eyes opened and her breathing became normal, tears gathered as she looked at him, the images of her nightmare still clear in her mind.

He whispered soothing words to her as he helped gathered her to his chest. She lay her head down upon his soft, cool chest. She sighed heavily and closed her eyes, stifling small sobs that threatened.

Legolas sat, still straddling her, stroking her hair and rubbing her back, deep in thought.

There they sat, bathed in only the moonlight. All was quiet in the house of Elrond. It was lucky that Legolas had told everybody of Thalia's dreams, otherwise they might have had half of Imladris making sure that everything was well. Thalia's screams had surely woken more than a few people.

"Are you all right melamin?"

her answer was the same as always, "Yes"

"Forgive me for waking you, I did not mean to"

he chucked softly, "You did not mean to dream either. It was not your fault. I will always be here"

He pulled away slightly and lifted her head. He planted a soft kiss on her lip, before slipping back into bed next to her. She smiled down at him and joined him, wrapping herself in his safe embrace.

They both slept comfortably for the next few hours.

An hour before the sun chose to rise, a silent figure made its way into their room. And stood above them a knife glinting in the moonlight as it caught its soft rays.

The knife came down.


	29. Hanging in the balance

Disclaimer- I own nothing- at all!!!!!

Thank you to all my reviews- if it wasn't for your reviews- you would have had to wait about another week- I've had major writers block- so review and I'll get another chapter up tomorrow.

White Lazy Wolf- Thank you very much- I am honoured and now slightly big headed.

Lady Viola- Leave poor Celeborn alone!!!!

Selayawen- Thanks- I was kinda hoping that people would be able to figure it out

NessaThranduiliel- NOOOOOOO- please no- don't. And leave poor Legolas alone!!!

Kerla, Laura- I'M VERY SORRY- please don't hurt me

Please note- and don't flame- I have no idea what would really have happened- all medical practices in this chapter have been well and truly MADE UP.

* * *

A scream rang through the halls.

I shot up from my bed, woken from a deep slumber by a sharp scream. I left my chambers and ran towards where it had come from, dressed only in a loose pair of leggings that I had worn for bed.

It had come from Thalia's room.

I flung the door open to find Elrond and Glorfindel already there. A blood soaked sheet lay on the floor in front of me. A moan of pain came from the bed as Elrond examined the wound.

My heart nearly came through my throat, I could not see who it was on the bed. It could be either Thalia or Legolas.

"Glorfindel" the elf lord spun round to face me. His face distraught.

"Haldir, thank Eru you're here"

"What's happened?"

Glorfindel looked as if he was about to cry. "Legolas has been stabbed and Thalia has locked herself in the bathroom"

I felt the blood drain from my face. Legolas had been stabbed. That was near impossible. Our painstaking planning had been worth nothing. And only Eru knows what Thalia has done. As I finished that thought I raced to the bathroom.

It was locked.

"It's no use Haldir, I've tried, I have sent Elladan to fetch a lock pick". Glorfindel said from his place beside Elrond. Who at this moment was giving away no clues to Legolas state.

I could now see Legolas from where I was stood. He was pale, his lips had gone a pale pink colour, his eyes were closed and a look of pain clear on his face. I watched as Elrond quickly ground some healing herbs into a fine paste. Ignoring my current feelings I went back to see if I could talk to Thalia.

I knocked softly on the door, "Thalia. Thalia, pen-neth, come out. Legolas needs you"

A loud sob could be heard from within.

"No…h..he doesn't. Look…what I've done" she said through her sobs.

"You have done nothing, Thalia please come out"

This was not going to work and Elladan still had not arrived. I decided to try another approach, Legolas had told me that when she was distraught and would listen to no reason, she would respond to commands, I hoped that it would work as I did not wish to make her more upset.

"Thalia Greenleaf! Get out here right now!"

I heard the lock click and the door slowly opened. Her eyes were red rimmed and she was flushed from all of her crying.

"I'm not a Greenleaf yet!" she shouted as she came out of the bathroom.

Glorfindel looked up and smiled at her. It was not a smile of defeat it was one of hope. So all was not lost . but I doubted that Thalia had picked up on that. She had already moved to the bed and was now sitting next to Legolas, holding his hand. I watched with a heavy heart as a lone tear made it's way down her cheek and onto Legolas' hand.

"Haldir" I looked up at Elrond and he nodded toward the door.

"Thalia. Come on, let us leave Elrond to tend to Legolas". She looked horrified at the thought of leaving him. But once again I commanded her to come with me and she complied. Her hand clasped mine tightly as she cast one last look at the elf on the bed.

---

Legolas life was hanging in the balance, the knife had struck him just above his heart and he had lost a lot of blood in a very short time. he was pale and had a rising temperature.

Thalia had locked herself in the bathroom as soon as we arrived and was refusing to come out, both me and Elrohir and tried.

Elrond on the other hand had reverted to being a healer, his expression one of indifference as he worked quickly, trying to stem the bleeding and take care of the wound.

"Elrohir, go to the store cupboard in my chambers and bring me some athelas and bandages"

Elrohir, nodded and immediately rushed from the room.

Legolas began coughing violently, blood trickled down the side of his mouth.

"Glorfindel, come and help me get him onto his side" Elrond shouted.

I carefully put my hand under his back and help roll him, his body racked with the force of his coughing and his skin felt like fire to touch. I looked Elrond in the eye. I had to know.

"Will he live?"

"I do not know. We will have to see…" the rest of his sentence was cut off as Legolas vomited blood.

"the blade must have punctured his lung. Go and heat up one of his small daggers"

I didn't like the look in Elrond's eyes. I had seen this procedure being done before and it was highly dangerous. The chances of Legolas surviving this were almost naught and if Legolas died, there is no doubt in my mind that Thalia would follow.

I looked round for Legolas' weapons, he would not keep them in the open. I opened the door to a large cupboard. His quiver and bow had been placed on a stand at the front of the cupboard and his twin knives sat proudly in their sheaths. Three small daggers sat on green velvet pillows. Two belonged to Legolas and the other belonged to Thalia.

I removed one of the small daggers and then left the room to go and heat the blade. It was times like these when I wished Thalia would sleep with a fire lit, but she always refused, she said "it may look pretty, but it's not exactly useful is it, after all I'll be asleep". But she was not to know, how could anybody possibly know.

It took only a few moments for the blade to heat. I ran back into the room. Legolas was getting worse, the pillow beneath his head was now splattered with blood and he was now shivering.

I handed the dagger to Elrond and with the help of Elladan, rolled Legolas onto his back.

I grimaced as I watched Elrond cut a small but expert hole in Legolas throat. His eyes flew open, luckily Elrohir had been on hand waiting with a small tube. The small tube was inserted into the cut and almost immediately, Legolas' breathing became normal, his chest rhythmically moving up and down as it should.

I heard Elrond breathe a heavy sigh of relief. "if he makes it thought the day, he will live"

"What do we do now" my heart leapt at the though of Legolas' survival but I was going to have to talk to Thalia and Haldir in a minute and I had to know the details.

"I will leave him to rest for a short while, Elrohir and Elladan will watch over him. I shall go and contact Lady Galadriel, we cannot allow such a dangerous being to roam free through Imladris, nobody is safe. Then I shall return, and with the help of Vilya, I will be able to heal his internal wounds"

overwhelmed with relief I embraced Elrond, who hugged me back with question. I could feel his weariness, and I cannot say that I am in the least but surprised.

I stepped back and looked at him in concern, if he did not rest soon, he would be of no use to either himself or anybody else.

"Get some rest my friend. I shall go and inform Legolas and Thalia of the developments".

Elrond's face fell slightly and he glanced to Legolas' now unconscious form, "In my rush to help Legolas I had forgotten about Thalia"

"Do not berate yourself, you did what you had to, and I doubt that she will think about it again. You both handled the situation in the best way that you could. Yours was to become indifferent and focused, and hers was to run away"

Elrond nodded and frowned, "That is something which we must remedy. Her feeling's of guilt about what has happened, are extremely misplaced, and unnecessary and I will not have it, not in my house"

Elrond said, with both humour and conviction.

---

Thalia and Haldir were sat on Haldir's bed in his room talking.

"It's all my fault Haldir, I didn't want it to happen and I didn't mean to come here, I just did. I didn't know he'd come to, and what about my mum? If she's here then where is she?"

"Shh Pen-neth, it is not your fault, and we will find your mother"

"I've been having dreams" she said quietly,

"What kind of dreams?"

"Nightmares"

"What about?"

She closed her eyes tightly, a small tear made it's way down her cheek. Haldir frowned and tightened his arms around her.

"I've been seeing it all again, the beatings I mean. I can feel it, it's like I'm there again. But this time when I turn around to look at him, it's not my dad with the belt…"

She began sobbing. Haldir sat up and sat her in his lap,

"Who is it Thalia? Who's in your dreams"

"L…Le…Legolas" she cried, great heaving sobs as she help on Haldir. He sat there, not knowing quite what to say.

"It is just a dream, it is not Legolas, when you wake up he is there is he not. He would never hurt you. Does he not hold you in his arms when you wake. Hmm?"

she sniffed once and sat up with a smile on her face, even if it was fake, he knew that she was feeling a little better.

"No, you're right, as usual, he wouldn't. Thanks Haldir"

she said before hugging him once more.

"Well, what are big brothers for?"

She sighed heavily against his chest.

"You know what?"

"No, what?"

"I like your room. It's nice" Thalia said, hoping to change the subject for a moment.

Haldir's room was painted a warm blue colour with gold accents here and there. A chess table with two chairs sat in front of the large balcony. A roaring fire sat opposite the large four poster bed, and a couch and a couple of chairs had been arranged in front of the fire. A bookcase stood to the right of the fire, filled with book and small ornaments, his bow and quiver sat proudly on the top shelf.

All in all it was very cosy. Currently, Haldir and Thalia were sat or rather, lying, on the bed. She was curled up in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. Haldir lay stroking her hair soothingly and whispering things to her, somehow hoping to calm her. She appeared calm, but he could feel the turmoil in side of her.

A knock came at the door and it opened to reveal a rather haggard looking but happy Glorfindel.

"Adar", I practically shouted as I leapt off the bed and stood in front of him. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to hear what he was going to say. I started hopping from one foot to the other, Adar raised an eyebrow at me, it wasn't my fault, it was just a habit, some people bite their nails- me…I hop. Wow I'm really odd. Oh well. See, look what pressure does to me, I'm talking to myself, and I'm talking to myself while the elf I love may be dead. I hate myself sometimes.

"Well…don't just stand there" I pleaded with him, he just grinned with him.

"He is still alive, and as long as he lives through the day, he will survive".

"YES!" I screamed as I dove at him and hugged him.

He laughed at me and hugged me back with just as much force. He spun me round and I caught a glance at Haldir who was grinning like a cheshire cat.


	30. Recovery

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it's not mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lady Viola- I will not say it again- Leave poor Celeborn alone!

Uhhh. . . . I have no name- lol- thanks for another of your fabulous and amusing reviews

Selayawen- thank you- although you should get that hoping thing checked out- it's just not right

Durfaniel- I'm sorry- I hope you're ok- and thanks, that means a lot.

* * *

Legolas' face was so pale. He hadn't moved a single muscle, Elrond said that that's normal but I can't help but worry. His eyes were closed- which is not normal, and his pale lips were parted slightly. My eyes reluctantly travelled from his beautiful face to the bandages at his throat.

It had been three days, and he still had not woken up. I hadn't left him, well…I had eaten and been to the bathroom, but apart from that, I'd sat here holding his hand, waiting for him to wake up.

Elrond had come in nearly every hour just to make sure that he was still breathing.

Elrohir had been sitting with me for the most part, I'd just sent him to the kitchens to get some food.

I don't know where Adar or Haldir are. All I know is that since Elrond had spoken to Lady Galadriel, they've been busy with…umm…I'm not really sure what they were doing.

I've also been given a bodyguard- oh joy, although the poor guy doesn't have to stay when Elrohir was around. But right now, I was all alone.

I felt my eyes begin to well up with tears, I gulped and bit my lip in an attempt to surpress them. There was no need for tears. Legolas was still alive and hopefully the other were working on a plan to catch my…dad.

I shifted slightly in my seat, the idea of being alone right now didn't exactly fill me with feelings of great courage and strength. I was being so stupid.

I lay back in my chair. The ceiling was gorgeous, Celticy-type designs had been carved in the stone and the woodwork. Ornate candlesticks stood in various places along the walls. A desk, laden with scrolls and quills, had been placed at the far end of the 'ward'. Three beds had been placed along the opposite wall, on this wall there were only two bed, one currently occupied by Legolas.

I sighed heavily and laid my head on the bed next to Legolas. I put one of my hands on his chest and my other hand was gently but tightly holding his. Listening to his breathing was comforting, it was reassuring to know that he was still breathing and it reminded me that he'd wake up soon.

His fingers squeezed mine and if I had not been an elf I would not have caught the movement. I sat up and called his name softly. An almost inaudible groan came from his throat.

"Shh, it's ok. I'm going to go and get Elrond, ok, I'll be back".

I managed to say through my threatening sobs. I ran out of the room and by complete accident I ran into Elrond and fell down on my butt- as if I could feel it anyway.

He held his hand out and picked me up. He looked at me, one eyebrow raised and a smile on his face.

I couldn't find the words to tell him, so I just pointed at the door, gesturing wildly enough to get myself sectioned.

He grabbed my hand and we barged through the door.

I stopped where I was, watching Elrond examine Legolas, who was now wide awake.

When he was finished he looked up at me,

"He is fine, however he will not be able to speak properly for a few days"

I nodded. He turned to Legolas.

"And don't you go overdoing it. you will only make your injury worse. No talking".

Elrond put his hand on my shoulder and kissed my forehead as he left me and Legolas alone.

Legolas caught my gaze, on his face was one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen. His arms were wide open and waiting for me.

I just stood there, looking at him.

He grinned and waved his hand at me. I couldn't help it. I literally ran over to him and threw myself into his arms, whilst giggling like an idiot.

I drew back and looked at him. His eyes were bright with laughter and a smile graced his full lips.

He leaned down and kissed me softly. It was a lingering kiss full of so much passion and love. I opened my eyes to look at him, he had done the same. I looked into his eyes and deepened the kiss. I felt his arms snake round my waist as I buried my hands in his hair.

I heard somebody clear their throat from behind me. Legolas rolled his eyes and looked over my shoulder, I didn't need to look, I already knew who it was.

"Adar, what do you want?" I asked as I turned around and sat in-between Legolas' legs.

Adar stood there, grinning like a lunatic.

"Actually, I just came to see how you were Legolas" he looked at Legolas in question, who in turn just grinned back and nodded.

Dear goddess, what have I let myself in for? Both my Adar and my husband-to-be are raving lunatics.

---

"Will you sit still" I scolded him. We were sat on our bed, while I was trying to re-do his bandage.

"I can't, you are tying it too tight" he complained

"I am not! Stop being a baby!"

he rolled his eyes at me. It was nice to have him back, even though it had only been a few days since he was stabbed. He was looking a lot better. His skin was back to its normal colour and his eyes were just as bright.

And right now he was looking very sexy. He was sitting on the bed, indian style with his tunic undone and he'd left his hair loose. I looked up and caught his eyes. He raised one eyebrow and smirked at me.

"What are you smirking about?" I said a little hesitantly.

"Oh nothing"

"Liar", I let go of the bandage and folded my arms across my chest. I adopted a similar pose to him and stared at him.

His smirk grew into a wide grin, his eyes danced with mirth though I didn't know what was so funny. He got up and came towards me. I scooted backwards, away from him. He knelt back onto the bed and crawled towards me with a predatory grin.

"Legolas" I warned.

"What my love" he answered slyly, the grin ever present.

I nearly fell off the bed, but as ever, he caught me. He pulled me down and pinned me down underneath him.

"Well, well, well. Look what I have" His breath tingled on my ear as he whispered to me, I would have laughed but his tone sent shivers down my spine.

I lifted my arms to place them on his shoulders but he caught my wrists and held them above my head, whilst shaking his head and tutting at me.

I could feel myself becoming warmer. My breathing was shallow and fast. He looked down at my straining chest and smiled seductively. I tried to get up, much to his amusement. He lent down and placed small butterfly kisses on my neck, his tongue delving into the hollows of my collar bone before moving up my neck and onto my jaw. I whimpered and wriggled slightly underneath him.

His tongue darted out, leaving a wet trail along my jaw. He chuckled as I bit my lip to stop from crying out. I pouted in hope that he'd give up and just kiss me. It worked.

He rose slightly, his hand still holding my wrists, before kissing me. The passion he showed me and the need and love that I felt coming from him nearly drove me over the edge. He nipped my bottom lip, demanding entrance to my mouth. I complied. I arched my back as his tongue massaged mine. I opened my eyes so that I could look at him, to find him already watching me. It only served to fuel us both. His kisses became more forceful as I tired to get free. He chuckled into my mouth at my pitiful attempt to get my hands free.

I gave in and instead, wrapped my legs round his waist, making him my prisoner and hoping to turn the tables on him.

Unfortunately my plan did not work. He growled softly and his lips left mine and went back to assaulting my neck instead.

There was a knock at the door and the person did not wait for an answer. Legolas rolled off of me and I sat up and put my hands on my hips.

"Adar! What do you want now? You have no sense of timing! He just grinned at me before a more serious look replaced it.

"Elrond has summoned a council, you both need to be there. It is about your…father Thalia. you have an hour"

he dipped his head in goodbye and left the room.

Me and Legolas shared a look before collapsing onto the bed.

After a few minutes I shifted and laid my head on his bare chest, his tunic was still undone. He sighed and brought his hand up to stroke my hair.

"I love you Legolas"

"I love you too melamin"


	31. Council

Disclaimer- I own nothing- at all!!!!! Except my cat- I own her. So don't sue- you wouldn't want my cat to homeless would you?!

Lady Viola- thank you for releasing Lord Celeborn- now leave him be!

Selayawen- lol- you do that

Kerla- you are forgiven

White Lazy Wolf- I know- very bad timing- and thank you

DiscoDelic- thank you

Thank you all for reviewing- hope you like this chapter

* * *

We had only just made it on time to the council. As the hour had passed Thalia had become extremely agitated. She had spent half and hour pacing up and down the room and wringing her hand together whilst muttering to herself.

I feared for Thalia. She was not looking well. Her face was pale but her cheeks were flushed, an unusual complexion for an elf. Her eyes were darting from person to person and I could feel her nervousness.

I listened only half-heartedly, to what Elrond said as he explained what was going on to the few here who did not know.

Haldir sat, back straight and his eyes fixed on Elrond, as did the twins. I could clearly see, and feel, the tension coming from them. Glorfindel, I suspect, was not really listening to Elrond. His eyes would shift from Elrond to Thalia almost constantly.

"After seeking council with the Lord and Lady. It was agreed amongst us all. The only way that we can catch this…'being' is to set an ambush. We must all plan our actions carefully, and then deliberately discuss them openly. Hopefully he will hear of our plans and he will attempt something. If we can get Thalia alone somewhere, it is assumed that he would he would take the opportunity to strike. If everything is planned correctly, we will be able to catch him in the act, and with out any injuries to anybody"

Silence descended over the council as Elrond sat down.

Thalia was sat still, with eyes wide and chewing her lip, as she did when she was thinking. She looked up and caught my gaze. There was confusion and doubt in her eyes. She looked away and locked her gaze with Glorfindel. Something passed between them and he nodded.

"If we plan this right, are you saying that, as long as I am alone, he will come after me?"

she asked, her voice shaking slightly. Though her posture was one of confidence and determination. Elrond nodded solemnly, one hand massaging his temple.

"I am. In order for the plan to work, you will have to be alone"

"So, if I'm alone, who will catch him?"

Elrond shifted slightly in his chair.

"Legolas and Haldir will be close by. Legolas can feel your emotions, correct?"

We both nodded.

"If you can alert him, using your bond, you will never be in any danger"

"Why Haldir and not Adar? No offence Haldir"

Haldir smiled and dipped his head at her. Glorfindel stood and crouched down beside her chair.

"Because, pen-neth, my feelings will get in the way of my actions. Even thousands of years of training can not help me contain my feeling towards this…man, and I could end up getting you injured, or worse. I do not wish that."

"Alright, I understand" she smiled and hugged him. Feelings of calm and love came though our bond, I was glad, otherwise she might have passed out soon from the tension.

"So when must we put our plan into action"

For the first time I spoke. I did not want to ask. The idea of putting her in such a situation almost brought tears to my eyes, they were tears of sadness and of rage. I know that for her to have to face him will be a great task, one which she does not wish to complete. But we will be here for her, I will be here for her. I will be close by and no harm shall come to her.

"What is the plan?" Haldir asked, sounding a little sceptical.

"Tonight at dinner we will talk openly about our plans for tomorrow evening. Thalia, you shall be out in the gardens, as is your normal habit, although this time, you will be alone. Legolas and Haldir, you shall make out that you will be overseeing the new guard rotations. Elrohir and Elladan, you shall be with Erestor for the evening, and myself and Glorfindel shall be retiring to my study to look over some of the finer details of the running of Imladris. Everybody's plans are situated around normal occurrences, therefore nobody should suspect a thing.

In reality, Thalia will be in the garden, just as it was said, Legolas and Haldir will be close by, among the trees awaiting her call. Elladan and Elrohir will be in the stables, so that they are close enough to come at a moments call. And myself and Glorfindel will indeed be in my study, awaiting a signal.

Does that satisfy everybody?"

Once again silence descended, although this time it was a thoughtful silence. Elrohir was the first to break it.

"Aye, Adar. It suits. There is but one choice, and is a choice that only one of us can validate. Only then will I be satisfied"

He said whilst looking at Thalia. Tears had gathered in her eyes as he had spoken.

"It's ok with me. But you have to promise to be there, you can't leave me". She half laughed through tears.

She stood and was immediately enveloped in a hug from the twins. Glorfindel looked at me and we both joined in. I lifted my head and saw Elrond watching us with a large smile on his face.

I was not happy about this plan, but if it helped us to get rid of this threat. I was more than willing to participate. The attack on myself was painful yes, but if I could I would endure the pain again, for in these last few days Thalia has been more open, honest and loving than she has ever been. I believe that, when her fear of losing me overwhelmed her, a part of her fear of being too honest with me, left her. She has taken another step in her recovery. And I am proud.

Thalia let go of us and hugged Elrond fiercely.

"This better work, or you are soooooo dead!"

She said, loud enough for us to hear. It was good to know that her sense of humour had not faded. Although that particular habit did worry me slightly, she tended to use humour when she was trying to play herself down, she also brushed off and dismissed compliments and praise that people bestowed upon her. She often spoke of herself in derogatory terms, and it did not sit well with me. Or anybody else for that matter. I know that Glorfindel had spoken with Elrond, asking him for advice on how to curb that particular…habit.

She broke away from him and grinned, before skipping away, much to our confusion and amusement.

"So it is settled, tonight, be sure to talk freely and openly. Go now, and rest before dinner"

And with that the council was ended, and my day had just become a little more stressful. No doubt Thalia was already in our bathroom with the door locked. That was another habit which I had to get her out of. She would lock herself in the bathroom whenever she felt overwhelmed or threatened. And at the moment she was highly prone to mood swings.

Living with a female was more stressful than I had thought it would be. Although, I would not trade it for the whole of Middle-Earth. The love that she gave me far out weighed the bad things. It was nice to share my life with somebody.

Now all I had to do, was make sure that she was safe tomorrow night.


	32. The calm before the storm

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it's not mine!!!!!

Thank you all for your nice reviews- keep it up.

* * *

The sky was a brilliant mix of purples and blues as the sun set over Imladris.

A lone figure stood tall and straight on the balcony as she soaked up the suns last warm rays.

Her posture was one of confidence, yet it betrayed her. Her mind was a wreck and her heart was breaking. A shadow passed over her face and replaced the suns comforting rays with fear and terror.

A door opened on the other side of the room as Legolas emerged from the bathroom, wearing only a towel around his waist. His blonde hair now hung in tendrils, dripping down his back and his chest. His eyes watched the figure on the balcony. Feelings of protectiveness and determination filled him.

---

I left the bathroom after bathing to see Thalia stood out on the balcony, her back towards me. She had changed into a pair of black leggings and a red velvet tunic that fitted her form perfectly. Her hair had been left down for the moment, wisps of hair blew softly in the wind. I could feel the tension coming from her in waves. She had no need to worry. We would not let anything happen to her.

She turned around slowly. Her eyes were red rimmed from her tears and her face pale. My gaze travelled down to her hands which were trembling fiercely. A wave of emotions passed through our bond, it happened so quickly that I could barely discern any individual feelings. She began biting her bottom lip as it too began to tremble, her eyes became glassy as tears got the better of her.

I did the only thing that I could, I opened my arms to her. She let out a strangled sob and ran into them. I stood stroking her hair and cradling her to me, I almost shuddered as I felt her warm tears made their way down my bare chest.

She sniffed and broke away from me, looking up at me with a forced smile.

"Come on you- you have to get dressed, we have to meet Haldir" she said, her voice still slightly hoarse. I rolled my eyes at her and kissed the tip of her nose, making her giggle quietly.

---

I felt so safe in his arms, but we had to get ready. I wanted to meet Haldir early so that we could go through all of the details. I was on the verge of throwing up I was so nervous. I could feel a headache starting to make an appearance and my eyes were stinging- I did not need this right now!

I watched Legolas as he turned round to get a tunic and breeches out of the wardrobe. His muscles rippled deliciously whenever he moved. 'shut up! You're about to face the one man that you most terrified of and you're thinking about sex!'

I laughed out loud and quickly covered my mouth with my hand to hide my wicked grin when Legolas turned around. He looked at me like I was mad, but there was a twinkle in his eye that I didn't trust. I began to edge away from him as a predatory look crossed his face. Before I knew it he had thrown down his clothes and picked me up. I was now hanging down over his shoulder, admiring the view.

"You know you've got a really great backside don't you love?!" I asked him cheekily. He growled in response. I shouldn't have said that, the next thing I knew I was being tossed onto the bed and was once again pinned underneath him.

"This has become quite a habit" I wasn't complaining, on the contrary, I rather liked seeing this side of him.

He looked at me with a cheeky grin as he began undoing my tunic. His calloused hand caressed my stomach as he undid each clasp, slowly working his way up.

"Legolas. Love, you have to let me up. We have to m..." I was cut off as his lips captured one of my nipples. He glanced at me, a somewhat triumphant looks on his face. His tongue flicked my nipple and all thoughts of making him stop were forgotten.

My eyes flew open as he stopped and got off the bed, flashing me an evil grin as he dropped his towel and put on his breeches. I must have looked a right idiot, my mouth open and my eyes wide, just staring at him with my shirt wide open. He turned around and put on his tunic while chuckling to himself. I couldn't resist. I picked up a pillow and launched it at him. He stopped laughing as it hit the back of his head. He turned to look at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Now, now love. No playing. We have to meet Haldir soon. And unless you want Haldir to see everything, I suggest that you fasten your shirt"

"Ugh- you know sometimes Greenleaf!" I shouted as I got off the bed and fastened my shirt.

I stopped what I was doing and watched him braid his hair. He was so beautiful. He turned and smiled at me whilst finishing his braid.

"What?" he asked

"Nothing"

He snorted softly and shook his head.

"What! What was that for?"

"You are lying"

"I am not"

"Yes you are"

"Yes I am" I caved, it doesn't take much.

He told me to sit down on the bed with him and explain.

I wasn't sure how to explain my feelings. All the feelings of fear and hate, the pain and the guilt were coming back with a vengeance. My stomach threatened to rebel and my hands started shake. Legolas tightened his grip on my hands. I smiled at him. I tried to make it a sincere smile, but it didn't work. He just looked more worried.

"I'm scared. I'm so scared, I don't trust him. What if he knows. What if he thinks of something different or if he get you or Haldir or what i..."

I was cut off as Legolas put his finger on my lips to shut me up. He frowned and sighed heavily as he put my hand between his.

"Thalia. I know you are scared. I can feel it. but nothing will happen. We will be close by. Trust us, we will let nothing harm you. And remember, I'm with you"

He lifted his hand and rested it above my heart. I felt much better. It was amazing how he could do that with just a few words. He's much better than yoga.

I hugged him tightly, "I love you Legolas"

"I love you too. You must remember that you are not the same person that you were before you came here. You are a strong young elf. You have faced many battles since you arrived. And you have my full confidence. You can do this. You can face him. You can face him with the knowledge that he does not control you as he once did. You are strong and you can do this".

I pulled back and looked at him. He believed all of those words. He believed in me. I can do this.

I smiled and nodded.

"Alright- what are we waiting for? Lets go!"

He laughed at my enthusiasm as he strapped his quiver to his back. He handed me my dagger. I took it, reluctantly. I hated it, but it was necessary, and if I left it I'd never hear the end of it.

We walked hand in hand to the gardens. We stayed silent and alert as we walked. We met Haldir at the fountain outside our wing of the house. We hugged each other quickly and said our good lucks.

I left walking a little faster than I would have liked. But eventually I reached the gardens. I stopped and took a few deep breaths to calm myself, before talking the path that I usually walked.

Normally, this would calm me. But tonight, the dark was creeping me out, and my mind already playing tricks on me. I was scaring myself. The moonlight shone thought the trees, making creepy shadows on the floor and the slightest sound made me jump.

I heard a rustling behind me and slowly turned around. It was a person, that much I could tell but who it was, I didn't know.

"Hello again, my little slut"


	33. Confrontation

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!!!!!

Uhhh. . . . I have no name- * hug * thank you very much.

Lady Viola- that's it! Leave Celeborn alone!

Black-Dragon2005- nice to see you back

Mia- yes- those scenes were especially for you

White Lazy Wolf- thanks very much

Laura- hope you're happy- you'll know what I mean

Ugh- I can't name everybody- hugs all round- thanks for reviewing- here's the chapter you've all been waiting for

~~~~~~~~

I felt my heart stop in my chest and I felt like I'd shrouded in a cold cloak. I was freezing. 

As I turned around to meet him, something changed. A warmth spread up from my feet and through my body. The fear and terror that had filled me had all but disappeared.

The look on his face was one I'd seen so many times before smirk was firmly plastered to his face. His eyes narrowed in what seemed like amusement. His short dark hair was neat as always. He was dressed in black jeans that had a hole in the right knee, and he had on a blue shirt and to top it off he was wearing a leather trench coat. He looked like a gentleman- smart and sophisticated, mind you, that's why mum had been so attracted to him. If only people knew. He's a living example of the phrase, 'don't judge a book by its cover'.

"Are you happy to see your old dad slut?" 

his voice sent tremors down my spine. But it only served to stoke to fire that was building inside of me. All of my feelings were leaving me and were replaced with a need for vengeance, and hate and disgust. I felt my lips curl into a sneer and my eyes narrowed . I was more powerful than he knew. I was no longer a 21 year girl. I was an elf and a damn fine one at that I might add. He had no control over me anymore.

"Am I happy?…let me think…Yes I'm very happy to see you again"

His jaw dropped and for a second he looked as if he didn't know what to do. His smirk returned as he removed a long, gleaming knife from the back of his belt.

He walked towards me with controlled steps, holding the knife in front of him.

"I'm glad. All those years of having to put up with you, pretending to love you for your mother"

I snapped.

"How dare you talk about mum"

"I will dare and don't you EVER question it", he hissed

"I never loved her. But she was a good fuck, and I wasn't about to let that pass me by. So I kept her. All those years, you thought you lived in a happy family. No, and you…you were never good enough, you were lazy, loud and undeserving of me. Your brother and sister were good kids. They got good grades, not like you" 

He sneered, all the while getting closer to me. I took a deep breath and fought for control over my emotions. He was trying to make me angry and upset. He revelled in my tears. 

"Do you know something, 'dad'. I was good enough. You just couldn't take the fact that mum loved me and she never loved you. Although…that is something that I can't figure out. Why were you jealous, after all, as you said, you never loved her, so why was it so important for her to love you?"

I said as I looked into his cold, green eyes. He was faltering, his movements were becoming more stilted and forced. He was faltering…good.

"I never said that you little bitch" he eyes flashed in anger.

"Oh but daddy…" 

I said patronisingly as I circled him, I got close to his ear and whispered, 

"…You didn't have to"

his arm moved and grasped mine tightly.

"Now listen her you bitch, I've had enough of your bullshit. I was just going to kill you, but now I think I'll play. You recognise this belt? You should do".

"Now, now, daddy, don't be too hasty, you never know what might happen"

I smirked as I spoke, I enjoyed making him squirm. He deserved to. Was it wrong for me to enjoy this?

His hand went down and undid his belt. I heard the familiar slap of leather, but it didn't have to usual effect on me. I wasn't scared, I stood waiting for to hit me.

I felt Legolas' hatred through our bond. He was desperate to come over here. I reassured him gently and just told him to calm down and watch, I had waited 10 years for this, and I was going to enjoy the look on his face when he realised that I had beaten him at his own game.

My body jerked as the belt came down, but no pain registered. I leapt out and grabbed his hand, swiftly bending it back and breaking his wrist.

I held his hand behind him as I bent down to his ear, enjoying his cries of pain.

"How does it feel dad. Are you proud of yourself, have you got everything you wanted? Not so weak now, am I?"

His leg moved and knocked me to the floor. His straddled me and grabbed my hair to make my face meet his.

"Oh really. You see…you'll always be weak little girl who can't take care of herself. You'll always need someone. Well, not anymore, after all who would want to look after a dead girl?!"

he let go of my hair and pushed me down so that my head cracked on the ground. For a minute I saw white. 

He had risen from the ground and was now standing in front of me. The belt had been discarded and he now held his knife in his good hand.

I felt Legolas almost panicking. His anger was welling more and more by the minute. I told him to wait.

My dad lunged at me and caught my arms with the blade as I moved. I crouched and kicked out his legs. He landed on the ground with a thud.

He lay there, breathing heavily. I watched him. A feeling of guilt ran though me, curious, why should I feel guilty? But a part of me felt sad, that a human being had lived his life with a black heart. He had not lived, he had breathed, but not lived. No one had lived until they feel things. Yes, hate is a feeling. But without love the heart and soul cannot live. Wow- when had I become such a wise ass?

He tried to get up, and with out thinking I strode over to him and brought my foot down onto is kneecap- hard. I heard the crunch and snap of bone as I put more pressure on it. A feeling of satisfaction welled up insides me. I laughed as he let out a cry of agony.

He wouldn't be able to hurt anybody now. The guards would be able to move him to a cell in the old, and now mostly disused, dungeons. Well it wasn't a dungeon as such, it was more like a large cellar with iron gates that separated part off into different cells.

I felt a hand on my elbow and whipped round to see Haldir. A look of pride graced his features. I frowned and with one look at dad, walked about a meter away. I could still him, but I wasn't too close. Looking back at the last twenty minutes, I wasn't so proud, I had become him. I had locked off my heart and let my need for revenge take over.

I noticed Elrond and Adar along with the twins and six guards, rushing down the path, and looking very worried.

Legolas and Haldir had already tied 'him' with rope, there was no way he was going anywhere.

Adar came over to me and hugged me. But I could feel nothing. I was completely numb.

I had watched the confrontation from with in the tress, and I did not like what I saw. He was fouler than I had imagined. Even as he struck her with his belt, she felt nothing. I got no feelings of pain from her. Anger burst through me, how dare he hit her. I almost panicked when he charged at her with his knife. Luckily she was able to dodge him and was able to disarm quickly. I had wanted to intervene from the beginning, but she would have none of it. the hate I felt for this…human, was almost overwhelming. I could see it in Haldir's posture, he felt as I did, but knew that this was something that Thalia had to do herself. 

I watched, slightly shocked at her actions, as she crushed his kneecap. That was not something that I thought she was capable of. I heard Haldir gasp and smiled slightly. She was definitely full of surprises. The only thing that worried me, was her reaction when this was all over. She had pushed her feeling aside for the moment and when they returned, she could withdraw.

She stood there gazing at his limp form. Haldir had already jumped down and was now checking her. I frowned as she moved away. But I had to put own feelings aside while I took care of 'him'.

I saw Elrond come down the path with Glorfindel and the twins close behind. A few guards. Rushed ahead and took 'him' from my grasp. Glorfindel looked over at me and shook his head in despair. He was appalled to find that Thalia had been struck. He had been given no signal, Thalia had ignored him as she had ignored me.

I stood there, silently watching Elrond examine Thalia with a frown on his face.

"Legolas, come and take Thalia to the healing wing. I shall be along shortly. Elrohir, will you go with him please. 

Glorfindel, Haldir, Elladan, follow me. We must decide what to so with this…man"

I did what I was told without a word. Her body felt light in my arms but I could feel the tiredness and the guilt seeping into her body. Her eyes were unseeing and she was not reacting to anything. My body felt like it was on the verge of collapse. She was not registering her feeling so they were being passed to me. The despair that she felt was almost too much. She had waited years or this, and now she had done it, a part of her had disappeared and she didn't know how to fill it.

"Legolas, are you alright?" Elrohir asked from beside me.

"What do you mean?"

"You just look a little pale and you are staggering, surely she is not that heavy?"

I shook my head, "No she is not, I just feel a little…"

As I fell, I felt Elrohir grasp my waist and lower us to the ground…then everything went black.


	34. Dreams and decisions

Disclaimer- I own nothing, if you recognise it- it's not mine!!!

Eowyn- thank you. Yes, I am indeed Wiccan.

uhhh. . . .I have no name- thanks- you are so nice. But you have to let Legolas go- sorry but I need him back- although don't untie him and leave the gag on.

Lady Viola- nice to see that you've let Celeborn go, and I hope you know that he will need therapy after being held captive by you.

And to everybody- thanks for your reviews.

* * *

I woke up to hear the birds singing. One of my hands was trapped in something and I could feel a heaviness on my stomach and legs.

I was tired and my eyes were heavy, I didn't want to wake up, at least not yet anyway.

The events of last night came back to me all at once. A freight train would have been gentler about it.

A feeling of pride was there, definitely. I'd put up with him and his beatings for too long. But at the same time I wasn't so proud, I had hurt someone. It wasn't really in my nature to be violent and to start now was more than a little disappointing. Knowing that I'd raised my fist in pure hatred was devastating. Yes, I hated him, but in following my hatred I had lost a small part of myself. Or maybe I had gained. I had faced him. And despite quivering in my boots, I had still not backed down. That part of me was slowly beginning to win me over. He was in the dungeons, there was no way that he could get me and there was no way that he could escape. No doubt Elrond had made sure that he was in one of the deepest cells.

There would no doubt be a trial of some sort, not that a trial was actually needed. I hope that I don't have to do or say anything. I wanted to attend the trial, but condemning a man was something completely different. There was no way that Elrond would banish him from Imladris, he would just go back to Saruman. But there had been few cases where somebody had been put to death. And if that was the case I have no doubt that whoever takes up the task, will make it a painful death. Elves were a peaceful race, but I had learned quickly, that they were loyal to their friends and if provoked, some had a very nasty tempter. Like the twins for example, when I'd told them about what had happened they were furious and the look in their eyes was one of pure hatred, they would make it a slow death.

A thought suddenly struck me. My mum still hadn't been found. If she was in Middle-Earth, wouldn't she have been found? But…I suppose it's possible that she's in another land. I had to ask Elrond later.

I couldn't help but wonder about Adar. He looked awful last night. When I saw his face as he came down the path with Elrond, he looked…old. He looked pained by something. I had done that, once again I had failed him, I had failed Legolas and Haldir as well. I had ignored them and had not given any of them a signal.

I stopped thinking and let myself drift back off to sleep.

{I opened my eyes slowly and then sat up. I was in a large room, the walls had been painted white and there were small statues placed in alcoves. The ceiling was high, and from it hung a large crystal chandelier. Metres of white, sparkling fabric hung down from around the hanging, giving it a romantic feeling. Across from the bed was a large, ornate fireplace. The bed its self was queen size, it was covered in Green velvet and white silk. The headboard was beautiful. It bore the same symbol that was on our bed at home. To the left of me, were two glass doors leading to a balcony.

I walked around and examined the statues; they were all the same woman. As I walked around the room, the story within the statues played out.

The first was of a lone woman, and then, as it progressed, the woman was joined by a man. The last one was of the couple each holding a child. There were still a few empty alcoves that were waiting to be filled.

I was distracted by a cry. It was a child's cry. Then the soothing lyrics of a song drifted into the room. Looking around I found a set of double doors, one of which was slightly open. I followed the sound of the voice and stopped outside the door. Putting one hand on the door I stepped inside. I withheld a gasp of wonder at what I saw.

The room was beautiful, it had been painted a soft shade of yellow. A thick rug sat before a large couch in front of the fire. All around the room were small lanterns that softy lit the room.

On the far side of the room, stood two cradles.

And with one child in his arms, stood Legolas. He was wearing a long robe of silver and white that had been embroidered with beautiful patterns. He looked the same as always, only he now wore a crown of golden leaves upon his head. He stood, singing and rocking the fussing child.

I walked slowly over to the cradle that held the other child. I peered over and smiled. She was a girl. She had bright blue eyes and a fair head of hair. She giggled and raised her small arms to me. Carefully, not wanting to break her, I picked her up and cradled her to my chest. This is when I noticed my own state of dress. I was wearing a long white dress that had silver embroidery with long bell sleeves as I usually wore. I felt something resting on my head. I carefully held the baby and touched my forehead. And sure enough a circlet sat there. I turned round to look at Legolas. He had stopped singing and was now gazing down at the sleeping child in his arms with a smile on his face.

He raised his head and looked at me with loving eyes and a brilliant smile. I gasped in realisation. These were my children, these were our children.

My eyes travelled to the small bundle I held in my arms. I didn't know what to think. Was this our future?

I felt an icy breeze rush past me and when I looked up, nothing was the same.

I let out an involuntary scream as I looked at the baby that I still held. Her tiny fists were clutching the edge of her blankets, her blooded blankets. Her eyes were open in death.

I gazed around the room in shock and despair. I ran over to Legolas, who was now lying dead on the floor, an arrow protruding from his chest, the baby still in his arms. His golden hair was streaked with blood and his face was still twisted in horror.

I moved Legolas' arm and gathered up the other baby. It was a boy. We had twins.

And there I sat. Next to my husband holding my babies and weeping for the future}.

I woke up screaming. That could not be my future. It could not.

"Thalia, Thalia?"

I lifted my head to see Adar looking at me with concern shining in his eyes.

"What's the matter?" he asked

"Nothing. I'm fine"

"Yelde, don't lie to me. What is wrong?"

"I just had a dream that's all"

"What kind of dream?"

"I saw something"

Glorfindel furrowed his brows and shook his head slightly.

"What did you see?"

"I saw Legolas. I saw, Legolas, with two babies, they were twins. They were our twins. We were king and queen. One minute I was holding my daughter and then…then…everything changed…"

He smiled at her description. It sounded about right. If everything went to plan the two would marry.

"And then what happened?" he gently coaxed her.

"There was blood…and she was dead"

"Who was dead?"

He glanced up and saw the twins, Legolas and Haldir stood beside her bed. She was so upset that she had not noticed. Legolas stood, leaning on Elrohir for a little support. A smile graced his face, but a small hit of worry could be detected.

"And then…I looked over at Legolas and …he…he…he was dead" she was cut of as a sob broke though her words.

"…and the baby. The baby he was holding. They were both lying on the floor. Dead"

She sat the staring at the wall opposite. She nearly jumped as Legolas sat down beside her and gathered her into his arms.

"Legolas?" she whispered

"It's me love, I'm here"

"Legolas"

"It's alright. Everything is alright. I'm here. So are your Adar and Elrohir and Elladan and Haldir"

She nodded against his chest. She closed her eyes and burrowed further into his arms, letting his scent invade her senses.

A silence settled between the group. Each was left to their own thoughts. And then finally- the question that needed to be asked.

"Thalia. The trial is to be held at dawn tomorrow. We need to know"

Glorfindel paused to look at the others before turning his attention back to his daughter.

"Do you wish to see him dead?"

Her head shot up, almost smacking Legolas in the nose. Her eyes darted from person to person.

Each face held a grim determination, they wanted him dead, and all they needed was her say.

"Yes, I want him dead"

A lone tear ran down her cheek as she gave her permission.

"I am glad to hear that Thalia"

Heads turned as Elrond made his way over to her side.

"There can be no end to your torment until you can let go. I can only hope that you have to goodness in your heart to forgive him for his wrongs against you. However, if you can, you are a better elf than I am. I do not know if I would have the strength to forgive"

He lent forward and kissed her brow.

"Elrond. I have to ask you something"

He looked at her, waiting for her to begin

"I had a dream. About the future"

Elrond held up his hand to stop her.

"Thalia. With everything that has happened I had forgotten to talk to you about these types of dreams. Dreams or visions of the future. Are often nothing like the truth of a situation. They can show us our most desires or they can show us our worst thoughts. In your case, it has indeed shown you, what you wish, but because your thoughts are undecided, your unconscious mind was caught in a conflict. And it resulted in your dream. And what you most fear is gaining what you have always wished for, a happy and loving family, and your worst fear, is then losing it. Is it not?"

"So, that's not going to happen then?"

"You may indeed, have twins when you marry. But you must remember that Legolas is both a warrior and a prince. He will be well protected. You have nothing to worry about, it will not come to pass".

She let out a heavy sigh of relief as she nuzzled her head into Legolas chest. He looked down at her with a huge smile on his face. He had not given it much thought before, but when they did marry, he would indeed wish to have children with her and now he couldn't wait for the day when he could hold his child in his arms.

The twins stood watching the couple with grins on their faces, like Legolas they couldn't wait for the time when Thalia had her children. They would have someone to teach the tricks of their trade to.

"Elrond, you have yet to explain the cause of Legolas' collapse" Haldir pointed out.

"Ahh…Legolas, yet again you had to bear the brunt of Thalia's emotions"

Thalia looked up, feeling more than a little disheartened.

"This of course, was not Thalia's fault. She would not have even been aware of it. If, for some reason, one of you cannot bear your emotions alone, your spirits will automatically seek the others out for help. It is not something that you will able to control, although in time, you will become more aware of it"

"I'm sorry Legolas"

Everybody turned to look at Thalia, with a mixture of irritation, worry and amusement on their faces. She had nothing to apologise for, and the fact that she felt she had to apologise for something that was beyond her control was absurd.

"Thalia. Do not apologise for something that was not of your own doing. You are a free woman, and you are not responsible for everything that does not go to plan. Do you understand me?!" Glorfindel said sternly.

"Yes Adar". She said, a little embarrassed.

"Well. I am glad to see that you are both well", Elrond started, glancing at the couple on the bed. "But we must rise early for the trial. I bid you all goodnight and hope that you all follow suit. Legolas, Thalia, you may go back to your rooms"

"Wait a minute. What time is it?" Thalia asked, a little confused.

"The moon has been high for over an hour" Haldir informed her.

A look of amazement crossed her face.

"Wow. I've been asleep forever".

Meanwhile down in the dungeons, the human was sat, huddled on a small bench. Praying for forgiveness. He was sorry for the pain that he had caused her. Or was he sorry that he had been caught.


	35. The Council

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!!!!

Mia- neither did I- but I had to get rid of him some way. Actually- when I write, I have no idea what's going to happen. We'll have to wait and see. But I am considering a sequel- just to see what their married life is like- but I don't know.

Eowyn- Glad you understand- wasn't sure about that- thanks

Uhhh. . . . I have no name- I thank you for Legolas- he's being very good- what did you do to him? And his friendship with the corgi is really quite frightening. And thank you- as always

Lady Viola- thank you, Celeborn would very much appreciate that.

And to all those others who I haven't named- thank you

* * *

  


The air was thick with an unspoken malice as the inhabitants of Imladris sat in the council chambers.

Lord Elrond sat stiffly as he awaited the 'human' to be presented.

Thalia sat beside Elrond, straight-backed, mirroring her Adar, who sat on the other side of Elrond. On her face was an expression of grim determination. But beneath that was a little girl who was scared of seeing her dad, who wanted nothing more than to go back to the familiarity that was home, no matter how bad it was. Something deep down inside her told her that she loved him, there was some part of her that was desperately begging her to forgive him.

Legolas sat close to Thalia. As a prince he had been taught how to hide his expression and replace it with a mask of indifference. He, like Thalia, was keeping a brave face. Underneath the stony mask was a boiling rage and hatred that if given the chance would erupt. But he kept it to himself, he had to be strong for Thalia.

Unlike Legolas, the twins and Haldir allowed their feeling to be perfectly clear. Although, Elrohir did show a little more restraint than his brother and his friend.

Glorfindel was perhaps the most conflicted of all that were present. His expression was entirely forced. The anticipation of meeting this 'man', was almost too much to bear. On one hand he wanted nothing but to kill him before he had a chance to speak. His actions and Thalia's scars spoke for themselves. Her condition when she was brought to Imladris was enough reason to kill him.

But on the other hand, he had a daughter to protect. He could feel her anxiety and her indecision come off of her in waves.

The sound of heavy footfalls and laboured breathing reached the ears of the elves. Elrond paused to look at Thalia, who in turn nodded her permission.

Elrond stood as the guards brought the man to the middle of the floor. Then let go of him and he fell to the floor.

"Martin Mathews. You have been summoned here to answer to you crimes of abuse. You have been given this time to speak your words, and choose them wisely, for they may be the ones that may earn you a swift verdict"

Elrond sat down, resuming his position as before.

Thalia looked at her father through wide eyes. She was like a little girl, at that moment an innocence that only a child can carry came over her.

A small smile came over her face as she knelt down in front of the haggard looking man.

"Thalia. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it?"

"No you're not"

"What?" he barked

Her demeanour changed and a scowl came over her face.

"You are not sorry. You are just sorry that you've been caught"

A shadow passed across his face as he sneered at her.

"Alright. No. I'm not sorry. You are worthless. You have always been useless. You stupid little bitch"

Haldir's eyes flew wide open and Elladan growled menacingly. Glorfindel was ready to pounce on him at any moment.

"Look at you. You're a weak pathetic little girl. You're nothing"

"No. you're wrong!" she screamed.

"I'm not a little girl anymore! I'm not your little girl anymore!"

"No. you're right. You're not mine. You're nobody's, nobody wants you. You are alone"

The only obstacle in Glorfindel way was Elrond's arm on his holding him there. He calmed a little and Elrond let him go.

He stood and crouched down in front of him.

"She's mine now. She's my daughter. And you are so very wrong. She is everything that you will never be. Including alive!"

Glorfindel hissed at him in a biting tone. He had achieved the reaction he had wanted. 

"You're welcome to her. She makes a crap slave but you never know what talents she may be hiding. She might even be a good lay"

At this Legolas snapped. He rose from his seat and wrapped his fingers around Martin's neck. With is other hand he firmly backhanded the man, sending him sprawling to the floor.

"You will never speak to my future wife with such disrespect!"

The man on the floor began to laugh.

"Oh, I see. What…talents, had she shown you in order to keep herself in your life? Hmm? Prince. You know if you need to, if she doesn't do what you tell her. A belt works like a charm. Or even a whip. They're much better. But what works the best is your…"

He was cut of as Haldir dove forward and punched him, breaking his nose.

Whilst all of this was happening, Thalia had retreated further into her seat. Her knees where drawn up and her chin was resting on them, her arms firmly locked around them. Her eyes were wide and glistening as a few tears made their way down her pale cheeks.

He recovered from the blow and tried his best to sit up staring at her, he said,

"But if you leave her alone. She does it all for you. She bleeds and you don't have to raise a finger. Sometimes, she even takes great chunks out of herself. She wallows in her own self-pity. With no thought for anybody else. And maybe if you wait long enough, she'll eventually kill herself"

"Enough! Silence!" Elrond shouted.

He motioned for the guards to remove the man from the court.

Once he was gone he turned to Thalia. Who was sat, rocking herself back and fourth in her chair, whimpering. Slow tears falling.

Glorfindel was by her side trying to calm her, as was Legolas.

Everybody had been dismissed from the council, and had been asked to return at noon for the verdict.

Haldir and the twins had left immediately to spar, something they only did when they were enraged.

Thalia was now on Legolas' knee. Who in turn was sat on the floor, as was Glorfindel. She had long since calmed and was now staring blankly ahead of her.

The two elves sat with her. Not knowing what to say. She wasn't listening anyway.

Their fury at the man had only grown fiercer as every word poured from his mouth. The tension was unbearable. Legolas was livid. He was outraged at what he had heard. How dare somebody dare to talk about another in that manner. Especially his beloved.

Glorfindel was much the same. He was seething. His daughter had been nothing but a cheap toy for that man. And how dare he insinuate such crude situations regarding her.

It was a silent verdict. Agreed by everybody. The man was to die. But by which method was the question.

Elrond sat in front of Thalia and carefully turned her head to face him.

"Thalia. He is to die. You know this"

She nodded, still holding a blank expression.

Elrond's brow creased with worry. This was not normal. Not even when she had been catatonic had she been like this. Maybe they were asking too much of her.

"Do you wish to have a say in how he dies"

Her head snapped up and she looked at him. Her yes narrowed.

"You bet I do. That son-of-a-bitch deserves to suffer"

She said with renewed vigour. Glorfindel and Legolas exchanged smirks. This is the woman they knew. She was stronger than she thought she was.

"So" she said clapping her hands and rubbing them together. "What are the options?"

"We can give him the kindest option. We can poison him, which means that he will die in his sleep. We could shoot him, although I cannot say that the archer involved will make it a swift kill. Or we could be-head him. This method had not been used since the days before the last alliance"

She nodded, deep in thought.

"Ok, leave it with me. How long before I have to come up with an answer?"

"Two hours"

And she stood up, and left.

Legolas sat still, for a moment. Until he realised where she was heading. Where else would she go after this?

Thalia was already over halfway to their room when she felt his presence behind her. She increased her pace. The bathroom was calling her. She needed this. She had not done it for a few weeks, but this was an emergency.

She flung the door open and ran toward the bathroom, Legolas hot on her heels. Just as she tried to shut the door, Legolas caught it and held it open. He pushed it. And won by sheer force, he was bigger than she was.

She stood, back against the wall. Watching him. Her wide eyes darting form him to the doorway behind him. Her hands stayed behind her back. As he had pushed open the door, she had grabbed a razor from off of the sink.

"Thalia. Come here" Legolas coaxed her. She faltered slightly, but regained her control.

She shook her head, the tears still falling.

In a move of desperation she darted behind him and tried to get through the door. Legolas was too quick for her and he caught her by the waist before she could get away.

She kicked and screamed at him. Until she fell against his chest, sobbing.

He slid down the wall and held her in his lap, her hands carefully within his. The razor lay forgotten on the floor.

He stroked her back and whispered to her softly, calming her and reassuring her. It was a few moments before she stopped.

She lay there, listening to his steady and comforting heartbeat.

She sat up and turned to him. Tears glistening in her eyes.

"I think we should poison him"

As she said this a lone tears ran her face. And then she laid her head back down on Legolas chest.


	36. Unspoken words

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it's not mine!!!!!!!!!!

Eowyn- I have to agree, it was not my best work. I had drafted the last chapter four or five times but they were all pretty rubbish. It just didn't feel right- if you know what I mean.

Uhhh. . . . I have no name- I'm starting to worry about you and your umm…small, obsession with corgi's. Thank you so much as per usual- it's always great getting reviews from you.

Lady Viola- I'm glad you like it-really, I am. I thought it was pretty rubbish. So thanks

Crazy-4-pippin- ugh I feel your pain- homework puts a damper on things doesn't it- hopefully this chapter will cheer you up a bit. YAY another like me!- and so you should be proud

* * *

She sat on her balcony, reminiscing about the past. Her father was a good man. Somewhere deep inside, she had to believe it, otherwise there was no hope. She did not believe that people were born to be so…angry and hateful.

She had told Legolas that she need a little time alone, to think.

She wanted to poison him. Although he deserved to die, he did not deserve to die painfully. His wrongs in life were many, but if she gave her permission to have him shot or be-headed. It would make her no better than him. She was not a hateful person, and she refused to lower herself to his standards.

Forgiveness. Is a word that can be used so lightly. Yet until you are asked to use it. It means so little.

---

Elrond had asked me to try and forgive Martin. After all the years of beating and torment at his hand. Could I? Did I have the strength to let him go with my forgiveness?

I my opinion, he did not deserve it. But when he had said he was sorry. It had pulled something in me. A part of me melted and was ready to call him daddy again and just hug him. But the part of me that remembers every second of every hand, and every word, got the better of me and I snapped.

Legolas was not happy, in the slightest. I can feel it. I don't know what's wrong, and at this moment I have no wish to seek him out. I realise that that sounds harsh, but I cannot. I do not have the strength to explain my actions.

---

Meanwhile in the training room, Haldir was giving Elladan a run for his money. The two had been sparing for over half and hour and neither was going to give up.

In the corner of the room stood Elrohir and Legolas. The subject of the trial was being put under close scrutiny by the pair. Neither felt it fair to Thalia to let the decision rest on her. The young woman had been put under enough pressure and the last thing that she need was another decision. She may have thought that she could handle it, but her breakdown during the council was proof that she could not.

It was not a small thing that they were asking, her decision would stay with her for years to come.

Legolas listened to Elrohir with a heavy heart. His thoughts were elsewhere. He wished nothing but to be Thalia. But he could feel her need for solitude and respected her wishes.

My heart selfishly wept for her. Her mind and heart were not with mine, she had retreated.

I can feel her pulling away from me. When she had run from the council my heart had nearly stopped when I realised what she leaving for. It has not been long, but she has managed to refrain from cutting herself for nearly three weeks. And if she was not careful, she could end up with serious injuries.

I did not wish to see her like that again. Cutting may have been her salvation in the days passed, but now she need not. She has remained alone for too long.

The thought that she could still turn to a blade was ever present in my mine. There was nothing or nobody to stop her.

The loneliness that she felt was weighing heavy on her heart. I could feel her hope for her mothers return fading quickly.

Her last ties with her him are being severed and although she will have a home both here in Imladris and Mirkwood, she still mourns the loss.

It was entirely slavish to be thinking of such things at the moment, but I had to. The fait scent of Vanilla overwhelmed me for a moment and I felt a small smile pass my lips.

Elrohir had stopped talking and was looking at me knowingly. I went to explain when he shook his head.

"I know my friend. I know. You miss her presence. She is not yours at the moment is she?"

"I can never hide anything from you can I? No indeed, she is not mine. She has forsaken her place in my heart for a short time. She seeks solitude, and I do not begrudge her that"

"Do you think that she is in any danger?"

There was a doubt in mind, but all in all,

"No. I do not think that is"

He grinned and clasped my shoulder.

"Care to join us my friend?"

I smirked and threw of my tunic, as my eyes challenged him.

---

A pregnant silence prevailed in Elrond study. Elrond and Glorfindel had retired there after Thalia had fled. Both were now contemplating the events that were soon to be played out.

My daughter was a strong young woman who was far too stubborn for her own good. I should not have consented to her presence at the council. I can understand her reasons for wanting to be there, but she should not have come. Who knows what she might be feeling now, or what effect it has had on her.

The decision must not rest with her.

Unbeknownst to Glorfindel, Elrond was thinking the same thing.

"Glorfindel. I do not like this" Elrond's voice penetrated the silence.

"Neither do I. she cannot carry this"

"I agree. I propose a unanimous vote"

Glorfindel raised his eyes to meet Elrond's. A glimmer of hope shining in his eyes. Never in all his years had Elrond thought that the once fearsome Balrog slayer, would be reduced to a quivering mass of nerves over a daughter. Glorfindel had taken lovers in the past, but he had shown no interest in finding a wife or raising children.

"We should let Thalia decide on her preferred method and let the council choose between that and shooting"

"Why not be-heading?"

"That method had long since been disused. And as foul as it is, it should be left alone"

Glorfindel shook his head.

"I agree. That seems like a reasonable proposal. And I have no doubt that the others will be pleased to hear of it. The look in their eyes was enough to make me afraid"

They laughed at the absurdity of it all, before sobering again and returning to a somewhat calmer silence than before.

---

Back her room Thalia had become fed up with the quiet. It reminded her of habits that she would rather forget.

She rose from the cold floor of her balcony and ventured inside. There were still thirty minutes to fill before the council reconvened.

Sighing, she walked over to the bed, kicked of her shoes and climbed under the covers. It felt a little empty without Legolas there beside her.

She closed her eyes and willed her heart to reunite with Legolas'. As she did a great warmth filled her, almost lulling her slumber.

In the training room Legolas froze during a fight with Haldir. Who gave him a funny look. Legolas smiled wistfully a gleeful look in his eyes.

"She's back"

A cheer came from the four elves as they were relieved of their worry.

All at once the group made their separate ways back to the council chamber.

When everyone was seated, Elrond stood to address them.

"As you know, before we left this morn, a decision was given to Thalia"

Looks of confusion came over everybody's faces, they knew that there was something more to this speech.

"However. It has since been decided. That the decision of the prisoner's death, should not rest on the shoulder of but one person"

Elrond looked at Thalia, who sighed heavily and visibly relaxed. The group watched Thalia's reaction and were relieved to see her relaxed.

"Does this suit you Thalia?" Elrond asked.

"Yes. Yes it does, I'm very grateful"

Elrond smiled at her.

"What is your decision?"

Thalia stood up

"I know that you all wish him a painful death. But for me personally, this isn't about him. This is about me. I know that this is going to sound strange, especially after what he's done to me. But, I've thought long and hard about it. there is nothing that is more important that forgiveness. Normally, the word forgiveness is taken for granted. But when it comes down to it. It isn't a word that should be used lightly. I cannot forgive him completely. But what I can do is not allow myself to become a hater. I am not willing to become like him, not now. And so my decision is to poison him. I am aware this is a decision that not all of you will be comfortable with. But it is mine. And I only hope that you too can follow what you think is right, no matter the method".

Everybody sat, stunned into silence by her heartfelt speech. Glorfindel wore a look of pride. It took a lot to give a speech like that and mean every word.

Legolas sat, revisiting his thoughts, as did Elrohir. Haldir and Elladan understood her reasoning, but felt that their decision was right for them.

"Are you all ready to proceed with the judgement?" Elrond asked.

As the judgements were announced by each person, it became clear that Thalia had indeed made an impact. But the vote was almost unanimous

"Bring him in" Elrond motioned to the guard.

Once again the human was dragged into the chamber. Thalia sat up straighter. The twins and Haldir smirked at him.

"Martin Mathews. You have had your chance to speak. Decisions have been made. And your leave of this life, decided.

Tomorrow at dawn you will be shot".

A murmur ran though the gathering.

Thalia closed her eyes, feeling strangely calm. A smile graced her full lips as she opened her eyes and looked at him in the eye. All traces of guilt and hatred had left her.


	37. Goodbye

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AllThatJazz1- why thank you- my english teachers told me that I'd never get anywhere with this writing style- I can't help it- it just comes out. And yes- it is indeed my first one, I wasn't lying.

Laura- thank you as always

Corrina- hug thank you. And yeah- I think you're right- the mary sue thing is getting beyond ridiculous.

Uhhh. . . . I have no name- I hope that you like this chapter as much as you liked the rest.

Mia- thank you- it has hasn't it. I do well considering that I never plan anything don't I.

And to everyone- Thank you!

* * *

The elves of Imladris had once again come together to witness the death of a man who had not only hurt their friends, but had also threatened everybody. It was not a subject taken lightly.

The mood was sombre as Thalia, Legolas, Glorfindel and Elrond, made their way in silence, to the trees beyond the training grounds.

The night before it had been decided that Haldir and the twins would be the ones to do the deed.

Thalia had not slept last night, and every time that she did drift off, she was woken by some nightmare. She had worried Legolas. She had refused to talk about her dreams.

He had watched her all night, tossing and turning and had been relieved to see the orange streaks of the dawn. Today would no doubt be one which they would like to forget.

---

The walk to the yard was agonisingly slow. I didn't want to do this. But if I didn't, part of my irrational brain wouldn't believe that he was dead. And I couldn't live with that. And knowing that Haldir wasn't going to make his death pleasant was freaking me out. But I knew that in some weird way, they had to do it their way.

When we talked last night, they admitted that they felt guilty for never being there. Yeah- like they could have been anyway. I had rolled my eyes and laughed at their absurdity, but really. I was flattered. It was nice to know that they'd all be there when I needed them. The only thing left for me to do now, was to let them in. I was used to being independent so it just came naturally.

I was tired. I hadn't really slept last night. And I felt awful for keeping Legolas awake. Although, I wasn't sure if I woke him, or whether he was already awake. I know for a fact that he was tired. His eyes were cloudy and his skin unusually dull.

He must have caught me looking at him as he took my hand a squeezed it tightly. I tried to smile, but I just came out as a grimace.

My feet were protesting. They wanted to turn back and lock myself in my room. Not that that would work anyway.

I could hear the sound of those who had already gathered, slowly getting louder with every step closer that I took. My head was screaming at me, telling me to turn away.

At last, we were here. It looked ominous. The trees shading the place where he would be stood, and the contrasting warmth of the suns rays where Haldir and the twins would be stood.

I stopped and stood still next the Legolas, my hand still holding his for dear life. I felt a hand on the small of my back and turned to see that it was only Adar. He looked at me, concern written all over his face.

Elladan, Elrohir and Haldir made their way over to us. Seeing Elladan's face brought the entire mood down another notch. He was always the one to find something funny, no matter how deep or solemn the situation.

Today, his usual joyful demeanour had been replaced with a sombre and somewhat respectful attitude.

Haldir held some kind of reverence and care as he hugged me.

Elrohir looked apologetic. It was perhaps with Elrohir that I felt the closest connection to, aside from Adar and Legolas. He was sorry that he had to do this, but we both knew that if he didn't he would regret it and the anger that was fuelled every time he thought about the man, would be twice as strong.

The air around me felt stifling. I was finding it hard to breathe.

Elrond stood up and once again, told the guards to bring him out.

---

I had been ready for at least three hours when I eventually went to wake Thalia and Legolas. I opened the door and to my surprise, they were already dressed. They were sitting on the bed, looking like small children. It still catches me off guard. I know that both of them are grown, but in the eyes of the elves they are but children. And Thalia is perhaps both one of the oldest and youngest people I have ever met. Her soul and her aura feel so old and mature, that it is hard to realise how young she really is.

But right now, I was worried. She hadn't noticed, but her left hand was fidgeting with her gown nervously and she was chewing her lip. Legolas turned his head and looked at me, the same glimmer of worry that was present in mine shone in his eyes.

My gaze left my daughter for a moment as I looked round. Haldir was stood, the usual mock arrogance had left him. Elladan stood next to him nervously fingering his bow. As a student of mine, I had constantly told him not to do it. But now was not the time for petty arguments. Elrohir was stood a little way off. A frown creased his brow and his shoulders slouched. He was conflicted.

Elrond stepped forward from his place beside me and asked the guards to come in.

Thalia flinched and closed her eyes for a second. The twins and Haldir stood an expression of disgust clearly showing on their features.

I withheld a sneer as the human was brought down the path. My eyes drifted from the shoes on his feet to his face, which was now free of the blood from his nose, which was swollen and deformed from the break. Elrond had refused to treat the prisoner. He was not a man of cruelty, but when angered enough, he becomes a completely different person.

---

Legolas tensed and his hand tighten around mine as we watched Martin being brought down the path. His eyes found mine and locked with them them. What did I see? Hate? Disgust? Love? An apology?

There were so many things. I didn't have time to figure it out before he was stood opposite us, under the shaded trees. He looked weary but proud. His hands were tied behind his back and despite his broken knee cap, he stood, waiting.

All of a sudden a thousand thoughts hit me at once, was I making a mistake? What if he really means it? He might change?

No. He would never change. So what did I do? Just stand by and accept it?

I could hear Elrond saying something. But they were nothing but words and my mind didn't process any of them.

I was snapped back into reality when I saw the twins and Haldir line up, bows cocked.

I quit thinking and went with my feelings.

I let go of Legolas' hand and ignoring the shouts, I ran to Martin.

He raised his head and looked me in the eye.

A flare of pure hatred took over me. His presence made me shiver and I went cold. But I had to do this, just for my own conscience.

"I'm sorry for this. I bet you never expected this? Well, come to think of it, neither did I. I can't forgive you for what you did. But I couldn't let you go without saying goodbye. As stupid as that sounds. And I know you don't love me, hell…you don't even like me, but I know that somewhere a part of me loves you....or wants to. I can't help it it's just there. I'm sorry that I wasn't a good student, and that I never paid enough attention to things. But I can't change that. I guess…I just wanted to tell before I never get the chance to. But…I'm sorry that things have turned like this between us"

I stepped forward and placed a kiss on his cheek.

Without daring to even glance at anybody, I walked back to Legolas side.

Tears blurred my vision as I watched the three of them raise their bows in unison. I wiped my eyes quickly and made sure that I could see.

Their bows sang and three dull thuds could be heard as they hit him. I smiled as I looked at his face. For the first time, he looked like a man, and not a monster.

---

I shouted out to her and tried to catch her wrist as she ran towards him. The only thing stopping me from following her was Glorfindel. She needed to say goodbye, this I knew, but it did not mean that I had to like it.

I watched with a heavy heart as she said goodbye. She was strong. I had placed too much doubt in her, she held more conviction that I had. She would make a fine queen.

My heart wept as she kissed his cheek in Farwell. Her own heartbreak resounded within me. I could feel every emotion as if it were my own. She wanted so many things. And yet she could not have the one thing that she had always yearned for, her father's acceptance and his love.

My own rage was reignited when he looked at her retreating figure with a cold stare. He hadn't even had the good grace to say something to her. She came back to my side with a sorrowful air about her.

Her hand felt so small in mine. And she looked so delicate stood beside me. Her usually joyful attitude had disappeared as if it was never there to start with.

My heart clenched as the arrows were released. It seemed a long whole before they hit their target. A sudden feeling of relief flooded me. But it was short lived. I felt Thalia relax beside me and I heard one word pass her pale lips

"Goodbye"

And then she turned slowly and walked back up the house.

I turned back, suddenly feeling a desperate need to see his body. And there he was. Lying on the floor.

One arrow had hit him in the chest, one near his neck and one in the middle of his forehead.

He made for a grotesque vision and I was glad that Thalia had left. His eyes were open and staring as the blood ran down his forehead, some ran down his head and pooled underneath his turned face.

I felt no pity for him. He had deserved it. The past months had not been easy and it was due to this, evil man. There was nothing to stop her now. She would rise up and flourish under the stars. She had so much love to give to everybody, and now…she can become who she really is. She shall stand beside me, every inch the graceful princess. To see the man whom had brought such distress and sorrow upon my beloved was soul searing.

I turn to look at Elrohir. His Adar was talking to him, but he appeared to be distracted. His face was shadowed and he looked weary.

Haldir and Elladan looked gratified and relieved, much like myself I imagine, although there was a little more regret from me.

---

I reached the house, and I ran. As fast I could to our room. I couldn't get there faster. My mind was blank and it felt like there was a void where I should be.

I wanted to cut, but now that chapter in my life was finished. It had ended the minute that the arrows had struck him. At that moment all the words and feelings that over the years had slowly driven me to the edge, flooded back.

I went into the bathroom and turned the tap. I sat on the edge of the bath, watching the steam rise from the hot water and enjoying the warmth. I slipped my dress off and slid into the water. And thought about the last hour. That one word had meant everything to me…


	38. Confusing thoughts

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it's not mine!!!!!!!

To all those who reviewed- thank you!

* * *

I entered our room to find her already in bed and asleep. The covers were wrapped around her waist and her hair spread across the pillow in golden waves. There were silver tear tracks shining on her face, caught by the moonlight. She had disappeared this morning and had not stepped out of the room all day. I had worried for her when she did not come to dinner. But Elrond assured me that just need some time to herself.

I sat on the edge of the bed, watching her chest move up and down. It soothed me for some reason. She turned onto her side, one hand tucked underneath her head. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she did so.

I kissed her brow and stood up to undress. Keeping my eyes on her all the while. I was angry, though I know not what at. I was angry that I had left her, I had not been here for her.

I was angry at myself. I had been reckless with my decisions.

Arwen returned today. Instead of following the plan, after we arrived in Imladris, she had departed to Mirkwood to visit a friend, and upon her return she had brought letters from my family. She was looking forward to meeting Thalia, and to be honest, I was eagerly awaiting their meeting. I had known Arwen for centuries and it was important for me to know that they both enjoyed each others company. And it would be good for Thalia to have a female companion.

I entered the bathroom and was suddenly assailed by the strong scent of vanilla. Her scent. Her gown had been carelessly discarded on the floor. But it was not this which caught my attention. There on the floor, was a pile of her blades, they looked as if they had been stood on and now lay, broken and smashed on the marble floor. I strode over to the cupboard and took out her small bag, and in there were two unbroken razors. She had destroyed her strongest connection to her past life. I could understand why she had kept two, just in case.

I felt immense pride well up within me and I smiled the truest smile in forever, it seemed.

I left the bathroom and slid into bed next to her. She shifted her body and folded her self into my arms, making sure that she was safe. Her cool face pressed against my bare chest as she wrapped her arms around my waist. I smiled into her hair and gathered her closer to me.

I left the drapes open and slid into slumber watching the moons rays dance off of her skin.

---

I felt unwell. The tears that had wanted to spill were finally making their way down my cheeks. I had no idea why I felt this way. My brother did not and there was no real reason why I should feel this way.

In my mind I could feel the taunt string of my bow and the tension in my arm as I prepared to shoot. It felt different. This was not a hunting party, it was an execution. Execution was a practice only used by men and even so, I had never witnessed one, let alone performed one.

Deep down, I felt the anger and rage at the man. Every time I looked at Thalia, I saw the fragile girl that had collapsed in the forest and there was nothing more that I wished to do than make sure that I got to kill the man responsible.

But there was another part of me that was horrified at what I had done. I really did not know what was wrong with me. Adar assured me that I was just tired, but I have my doubts.

I shook my head and wiped the tears from my face as I stood from the cold stone of my balcony. Sighing heavily, I retrieved a blanket and sat in font of the blazing fire, right now I only wished for comfort.

There was a knock at my door and it opened to reveal Adar who smiled at me. He came and sat beside me, staring into the fire. After a few minutes of silence he put his arm around me and pulled me closer. I felt like an elfling again as he kissed the top of my head. I let go of myself and cried as I had when I was small. He pulled me to his chest and whispered soothing words as he rocked me. I saw my mothers face as I drifted off to sleep.

---

{I watched as my husband and my son played in the gardens below our rooms. They looked so cheerful and happy. He ran faster and Legolas ran after him, catching him by the waist and lifting him high above his head.

"Nana"

I felt a tug on my dress and I turned around to find my daughter stood next to me, a small doll tucked under one arm. Her blonde hair hung in ringlets and fell about her face softly. Her sparkling blue eyes looked up at me as she smiled. Laughing, I knelt down and picked her up. I giggled as I hugged her to my chest, she smelt like vanilla and magnolia. I spun her round, much to her delight. I stopped when I saw Legolas watching us with a smile on his face, our son in his arms almost mimicking us.

"Lia"

I turned around to face the door. And there was my mum, but she was different. I moved closer and nearly fell over when I worked out what it was. She was an elf. But how?

She and Adar looked very cosy. His smile held something new.

Everything looked perfect.

I felt an arm tighten round waist and a kiss on my forehead.

My eyes opened and I came face to face with the one face that I could never get fed up of. His blue eyes danced as he looked into mine. And I laughed at him and hugged him fiercely.

"It will happen" he whispered in my ear.

I looked up at him, confused. He just looked at me.

"What do you know that I don't?"

He laughed, a musical sound escaped from his throat.

"It will happen, I promise. We will find her"

I grinned as the cogs in my brain started working.

"Are you saying…that we had the same dream?"

"That, my love, is exactly what I am saying"

I sat up, straddling him.

"But…but…how?"

He sat up on his elbows, facing me, a gentle smile on his face.

"Sometimes, two bond mates, share the same dreams. Just as we can share thoughts. And I am telling you. We will make it happen"

I laughed as he grabbed me and threw me down on my back. He bent down and rubbed his nose with mine, his golden hair falling over our faces, almost shutting us off from the rest of the world. He came closer and kissed me. His soft lip caressing mine. A jolt went through me as his tongue begged for entrance. I teased him for a moment before complying. I arched my back as his arms went around me, pulling me closer, causing him to moan.

There was a sharp knock on the door. Legolas groaned before getting up and answering it.

Arwen stood there, ready to go down to breakfast. Ugh, I can't believe that I'm meeting her in my nightdress. There go the fist impressions. But luckily she didn't mind.

I waved from the bed, making her laugh. I liked her already, she looked like she had a sense of humour.

Arwen left, after I assured her that I'd be down for breakfast. I ignored Legolas' playful jabs at me while we dressed. I knew that he was only trying to get my mind off of my dad. And I appreciated it. But I was angry at him for doing it. No, that wasn't fair to say. I wasn't angry at him. I was angry at myself. It wasn't fair to say that he was making me angry. I was angry about the whole situation.

He didn't even say goodbye. It shouldn't matter to me, but it did. My whole life I've wanted him to shut up, and then the one time where I needed him to say something he didn't. It didn't matter what he said, just that he at least acknowledged me. It wasn't fair. He died happy. And I have to live with it. I'm happy that he's dead, but I'm just so…disappointed.

I'm gonna blow up at some poor suspecting person at one point today. And it won't be pretty.

For the first time since my arrival in Middle-Earth. I spent the day in female company. We had so much fun. She took me to a small waterfall where we swam and talked. It was so beautiful, the rocks glistening in the sunlight as the water spilled onto them. Small lilac flowers grew on the banks of the pool.

The view of the house was spectacular. I never realised how gorgeous it really was. The smooth curves of the building in contrast to the steep slopes of the roof were just genius. I half expected fairies to appear, it looked so magical. I'd read too many fairy tales.

We told each other about our hobbies, our like and dislikes. And we bonded. Woman to woman. It was nice. But it was only then, that I realised how much I missed my mum. I burst into tears when Arwen had said that we should do something different with my hair. My mum was always saying that. We'd sit for hours, doing each others hair and trying out each others make up. I felt so pathetic, but luckily she didn't mind and she understood. It was strange, but after spending the day with her, it was as if we'd know each other for ever.

That had made Legolas happy. The grin on his face told me that much.

Dinner was a more joyful affair. Arwen certainly knew how to liven things up. She was not what I had expected, I had expected her to be a little more uptight, but she could rival Elladan.

It was just after dinner and me and Legolas had retired to our room early, just to spend some time together. Unfortunately that didn't go to plan as somebody decided to interrupt a very heated make out session.

"My lady, I have a letter for you"

I got up and let the messenger in.

"Thank you" I said before handing him a few coins.

I looked at Legolas. The handwriting was not familiar but it held the Mirkwood seal.

I only read the first couple of lines before I let it fall in the floor, earning me a strange look from Legolas. I just stood there like an idiot, not knowing what to think or say.

Legolas looked up from the letter with a grin,

"This is good news, is it not?"

"Uh huh"

Was about the only thing that came to mind.


	39. Conversations and excitement

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it's not mine!!!!

I regained my thoughts and ran out of the room, leaving a laughing Legolas behind.

I ran down the corridor and bust into Adar room. Luckily he wasn't in bed. He was sat in front of the fire, reading a book.

"What is it Thalia? Are you alright?"  

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. But, I erm, I just got a letter from Mirkwood"

He raised one eyebrow and put down his book. He held out his arms and motioned for me to join him. We sat in silence, him waiting for me to speak. Me, trying to find the words. I was afraid that if I said the words, it wouldn't be real. 

I sat on the floor in front of him, the fire warming my back. I looked at him before opening my mouth.

"The letter, said that…that my mother is in Mirkwood"

I whispered the last bit, but he still heard it. I felt his slender fingers under my chin as he moved my head to face him. I opened my eyes to meet his.

"What is that troubles out my daughter?"

"Nothing. I just…what if she's not really there?"

He smiled and knelt down with me, enfolding me in his arms. 

"And what would be the purpose of a lie? Tell me, who wrote the letter?"

I thought back,

"I don't know. I didn't read all of it. Just the first few lines"

He laughed at me.

"Shut up you. It's not my fault I'm stupid"

"You are anything but stupid. You are just…unique"

"Yeah see, stupid"

I let go of him and sat back on my heels. We sat there grinning at each other. There was something that I felt I had to say.

"Adar. You do know that, just because my mums been found. I won't leave you. You do know that. Right?"

He smiled slightly,

"The thought of you leaving me had crossed my thoughts. And I admit, I had thought it a possibility"

I sat up and threw my arms around his neck.

"I promise I'll never leave you Adar. I promise. And I know that mum will love you. Just wait and see"

"Aye yelde, we shall see".

"So she has told you then?" Legolas said from his place, leaning on the doorframe.

"Are you gonna come in or just stand there like a muppet?" I said, he looked confused, but shook his head and dismissed my comment.

"Aye she has" Adar said as he stood up. 

"And now I suggest the two of you go and get some rest" he said as he ushered the two of us out of his room. I kissed him goodnight and ran off to Elrond's room.

Glorfindel and Legolas looked at each other, laughing.

"So who did send the latter?"

"My mother"

Thalia reached Elrond's room and knocked on the door. She waited until she heard and answer and then entered. He was in much the same position in which Glorfindel. Dressed in a comfortable robe, he was sat in front of his fire, reading.

I didn't know what to say so I just went for it.

"Ok. Just listen. Iknowthatyoudon'twantmetobutcanIgotoMirkwoodcosmymumsthereandIreallyreallywannaseeher"

He sat, an amused expression on his face. 

"What?" I asked innocently, a grin making its way across my face. He patted the space next to him on the couch and all but skipped over to him. 

"Thalia. Knowing you, you did not read the entire letter"

I had the good grace to look a little sheepish.

"And that look tells me that I am right. A copy of the letter has been sent to me. It is from queen Eloria, Legolas' mother. It says that your mother was found on the boarders of Mirkwood, she had been staying as a traveller in an inn situated in a small human village. She is now in the care of Eloria and Thranduil. And it appears that your mother shall be here within the week"

I didn't know what to say. 

"My mum, she's coming here?"

"That she is. Do not look so disheartened Thalia"

"Sorry, do I? I was just thinking"

He gave me that look, the one that says tell me now or I'll ground you or something.

"What if she doesn't want me anymore? I mean, I'm an elf now, and she might not want me now"

"Thalia, stop talking. You are being ridiculous and you are tired. Now I suggest that you go and get some rest and we will make the necessary arrangements for your mother and Thranduil and Eloria tomorrow morn"

"You sound like Adar"

He shot me a mock angry look and pointed to the door. I kissed him on the cheek and said my goodnight. As I walked through the door an idea struck me. 

"Elrond?"

He looked up from his book

"Can I go see Elrohir?"

"That may be a very good idea"

I smiled and shut the door, heading to Elrohir's room.

I knocked on the door. Not waiting for an answer I walked straight in.

"Ro". I called softly.

He sat up in bed.

"Oh, sorry. I'll leave you alone"

"No. No stay. I could use some company right now"

A frown made its way onto my brow and I immediately went over to his bed and joined him. 

"What's wrong Ro?"

"I'm so sorry Lia"

I smiled at my old nickname.

"Sorry for what?"

"I know that you didn't wish him dead, not like that. It was a horrific thing to do to another being and I should not have gone through with it"

"Oh Ro. You didn't do anything wrong. I know why you had to do it. You shouldn't make yourself feel like this"

"You can forgive me then?"

My head shot up and anger welled up within me. How could he think such a thing? I had been so wrapped up in my own issues when my friend was desperately drowning in his own guilt. This was not a thing that I could accept. 

I scooted closer to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He smelled like sandalwood. 

"Elrohir. There is nothing to forgive. You did what you had to and you shouldn't hold that against yourself. I admit that I would rather have poisoned him. But that is just my way. I don't like to see people suffer. Shooting him was not your favoured way. But nonetheless, you did it. There is great courage in that Elrohir, Lord of Imladris, and you should hold some pride for it. If you cannot forgive yourself for it, then simply look upon it as a learning experience. One that you do not wish to repeat of course"

He smiled and hugged me to his chest. His hair falling about his face and across my shoulders like a dark waterfall.

"Thank you Lia. You have given me great comfort this night. I hope that you too, can rid yourself of the grief that you hold in your heart for him"

His words embedded themselves into my very core. He was right. I was grieving for him. 

"I can't help it Ro. When he died, something of me died too. And at the moment, I don't know how to fill the hole in me" I whispered.

"Shh, we'll find something. We'll find something"

He pulled back and grinned at me.

"I believe that you had a purpose for barging into my room?"

I sat up on my knees and grinned like an idiot.

"My mums coming here"

"She's been found? But where, we searched everywhere"

"She was in a human village near the boarder of Mirkwood. And apparently, the king and queen are coming with her"

His eyebrows shot up, I swear he looks just like Elrond when he does that.

"Thranduil's coming here? Well, you finally get to meet your new family"

He said teasingly.

"Hey they're not my family yet"

"Not yet"

I hit him over the head with a pillow, that shut him up, for a minute, he just smacked me straight back. And then began our great pillow fight.

Twenty minutes and two wrecked pillows later. We lay on his bed covered in feathers and giggling like children who have had too much sugar. 

"You better go to bed, Legolas will be worried about you"

"He will not"

"Yes he will, you should see him when you are not around. He's a wreck Lia"

I rolled over on my stomach and looked at him,

"Since when do you call me Lia?"

He rolled over and mimicked my position. 

"Since you called me Ro"

I laughed and kissed him on the cheek before sliding off the bed. 

"Night Ro, sweet dreams"

"Night Lia, see you tomorrow"

I opened the door and looked over my shoulder at him.

"Thalia"

I stopped and looked at him. 

"I'm happy that your mothers has been found"

"Thank you, me too. Night"

I smiled and chewed my lip in excitement. I was happy. I set off skipping back down the corridor to my room, ready to harass Legolas.

I opened the door to find Legolas sat up in bed, reading, by the light of a single candle that stood on his bed stand.

I ran over and launched myself onto the bed. Making it bounce. Yeah- that's mature.

He looked up, amused. Why was I suddenly the subject of everybody's laughter tonight?

"What are you smiling about?" I asked him

"Noting my love"

He grinned at me before returning to his book. I grabbed the book and threw it onto the floor- gently of course. He glared at me, but it didn't last long.

"Come, get undressed and into bed"

"Why?" I whined.

He didn't answer me, instead he reached behind me and undid the buttons of my dress.

I gave up arguing with him and just rambled on about nothing while he took off my dress. He left the bed and got me a nightdress from out of my draw. He listened patiently to my ramblings as I dressed.

He got back into bed and held back the covers while I not so gracefully climbed into bed. 

"Lie down Thalia"

"But I'm not tired"

He rolled his eyes at me and pushed me down. He snuffed out the candles and lay down beside me. I snuggled up in his arms, but I still wasn't tired. I shifted slightly.

"Thalia" he chastised me.

"I'm sorry. I can't help it. I'm too excited"

He laughed and pulled me down underneath the covers. I giggled as I snuggled up with him.

Eventually the butterflies in my stomach subsided and I could relax. I felt my eye lids get heavy and I smiled and shifted slightly. The last thing that I heard was Legolas chuckle softly. 


	40. Control

Disclaimer- once again- I own nothing!!!!!!!!

I'm so sorry – I've been re-reading the story and my spelling is atrocious, especially the last chapter. Sorry. 

Thanks to all those who reviewed!

~~~~~~~~

So far the day had been busy. I'd spent the morning with Elrond, trying to organise Thranduil and Eloria's arrival. I didn't know it would be so hard. Luckily, they already had a room, apparently, they visit quite often. But, the room was looking a bit, well…last century. So I had to pick out new paint and cushions and a bedspread and all the other things that go in a bedroom. And then of course all the accessories needed to be replaced. That was exhausting. 

After doing that, Elrond had sent me down to the kitchens to draw up a menu for the feast. That is what I'm doing now. And the head chef wasn't working with me.

"Well, what about chicken?" Chicken was good, everybody likes chicken so I was guessing that it was a safe bet.

"No, we only eat chicken on special occasions" 

I had the sudden urge to smack my head against a brick wall. I'd already been through this over many other things.

"Well, do you recommend?" I asked, trying to be nice.

"Venison"

"What! No absolutely not!"

"Why not?"

"Because I said so thats why not"

He rolled his eyes at me.

"What about rabbit?" he asked. 

I actually thought about this. It seemed pretty safe, and I didn't have to eat it. And they were in great supply here, so there was no way of severely depleting the population.

"Ok, we can do rabbit"

He looked relieved.

"Ok what about fruit?" I was beginning to hate this.

We went through a huge list of items and in the end, we actually had a good feast.

I looked down at the list that I had to show Elrond. It was written in Elvish, and it was coming along quite well if I do say so myself.

Erestor was a patient teacher, and as long as I worked, we had a good time. It was amazing- he could go from teacher to person without any distinction. He was scary in teacher mode, and he was bossy. 

Unfortunately, while I was writing the list, I got kinda bored and started to doodle on the paper. There were now smiley faces and weird eyes and stuff, drawn all over. Oh well.

Next stop Elrond.

I hadn't spent much time with Thalia since our arrival in Imladris. Events had prevented us from talking privately. She seemed alright. But still, there was something that she was hiding.

I was currently sat underneath a tall oak tree in the gardens, enjoying the peaceful air, for in a few days there would be no chance of getting some peace. Whenever I had been here while Thranduil was here, the entire air of the house changed. It became more jovial than usual. And I know that things are going to be interesting.

I lifted my head and scanned the open corridor for the source of the singing.

Much to my delight it was Thalia. She looked different. Her hair sparkled in the sun and her pale blue dress whipped around her legs as she ran over to me. She had changed so much. 

Still clutching a pile of papers she threw herself on the ground and hugged me. 

"Hiya Haldir"

"Hello"

"So, what you doing all alone?"

"Nothing"

We sat, leaning against the tree, each trying to think of something to say. Even our greeting seemed to be somewhat forced. I frowned and looked at her.

"So. How are you?" she unexpectedly asked me

"I am well Thalia. It has been a while since we last spoke, has it not?"

"It has. Ugh- what are we doing? What's wrong with us, it never used to be like this" she almost shouted, her frustration breaking through her collected surface.

"We were once truthful with each other" I said

I did not wish to say it, but it had to be spoken. Neither of us were well, and both of us were determined to keep it a secret.

She frowned at me and creased her eyes, she was debating with herself.

"You're right. I was lying. But what were you lying about?"

"Oh no. You said it first therefore you have to explain first"

She laughed, it was guarded.

"I'm scared"

"Of what?" I pushed her.

"Everything's changing"

"The world changes, situations change. There is no way to control it"

She lay down and rested her head in my lap.

"I know. But…it's hard. I can't seem to make any sense of anything. Nothing feels right, nothing seems to going my way and I feel like I'm just this…thing and I'm just along for the ride. I can't stop it and I can't do anything in it. I feel like a spectator in my own life. And quite frankly, it's not only annoying, it's bloody ridiculous"

"Nervous?"

Her eyes immediately locked onto mine and her hands stopped playing with the fold in her dress.

She shrugged and grinned at me.

"Ok, ya got me. Yes. I'm nervous. I don't know how to do this. It's too much all at once"

I resisted the urge to laugh and instead lifted one knee, making her sit up and shift onto my chest. She sighed and picked up my hand, playing with my fingers.

"Nervous about meeting your new family or seeing your mother?"

She sighed unhappily.

"Both. I want to see mum. But I'm so scared that she won't want me anymore. I'd understand. But I want her back. It won't be the same as before, but it'll do me just fine"

"Of course she'll want you. Now you are just being irrational"

She laughed softly.

"Yeah. I guess you're right"

She sat up and looked me in the eye.

"So. What's wrong Haldir?"

I knew I wasn't going to get of this one. 

"To be honest. Much the same as you in a respect. We have grown apart these last weeks Thalia. And I must confess that I do not like it. I miss your company sister"

I had said it. My eyes swept over her face, so many emotions were held in her azure eyes.

She nodded her head in understanding.

"I know. We have haven't we? Well. I fully intend on remedying that. I see no reason why we should not see each other. After all. As you said we are brother and sister. And besides, nobody would dare question you mr marchwarden"

I laughed at her childishness.

"Indeed"

I lifted her up and stood, brushing the strands of loose grass from my clothes. She looked at me, laugher clear within her eyes.

"I swear, you can be so vain sometimes"

"I am not vain, I am merely…"

"Vain" she finished.

"Shut up Thalia"

"Kay"

I rolled my eyes at her and we started off into the house. 

"What are you up to?"

She looked down at the papers before answering

"Oh. This is a list of the food that will be served at the feast. Elrond said I could organise it"

"Oh no"

"Hey. I resent that. I think I've done a very good job"

"Alright"

"Hey!"

It had been only a few hours and she was already back. I had only just gotten rid of my argumentative sons and I had hoped for at least ten minutes of peace before anybody else disturbed me. She and Haldir had once again made sure that I would not be getting any rest.

I had given her a few, creative tasks to complete in the hopes that she would be gone all day. It wasn't that I did not enjoy her company, but I was trying to organise a surprise for her, however, due to the many interruptions, I had not managed to even start the preparations.

She knocked on my door after saying goodbye to Haldir.

"Come in"

She bounded into my study with all the energy of an elfling. I raised an eyebrow but otherwise kept my mouth closed. I did not want to spoil her mood. She was rarely this happy.

"Ok. I've done what you asked. I picked out the paint, and accessories to match and I organised the feast"

I was genuinely impressed. She had done all that in less than a day.

"I congratulate you, you have done well"

Thalia snorted with laughter. I looked at her in question.

"Sorry, you just reminded of this little dude called Yoda"

I had no idea what she was talking about, so I just nodded to acknowledge her words. 

She walked up to my desk and peered at me with curiosity.

"Are you ok? Cos, you look a little sick, or maybe you're just tired. You know you should go get some rest"

I shook my head wearily.

"I am tired. Having two extremely bored sons constantly coming in and out whenever they feel like it and Glorfindel is not making things any better"

She grimaced a little and came and sat on the edge of my desk next to me.

"What's he done now?"

"Nothing. I did not mean it like that. I am just a little…impatient at the moment. Thranduil's arrival is usually such a joyous occasion. However this time I feel like I had a lot of added pressure"

"What do you mean?" she asked quietly

"If I am honest Thalia. I do not know what I mean"

She nodded and then shook her head. She hopped down, grabbed my hand and began pulling me towards the door. I did not fight her, she was doing what she felt was right, taking control of a situation. I know that she has been feeling powerless lately and to fight her would only cause her more distress. And after all, this young woman may be right.

She nearly dragged me through the corridors, earning us some very amused looks from passing elves. 

We reached my room and she threw open my door and dragged me into the room, ordering me to take off my outer robe.

She then stood I front of me, hands on her hips, as I had seen mothers do to children. She then told me to get into bed as she walked over to the drapes and closed them. She came over and sat on the bed next to me. Making me feel like an elfling again. 

She looked at me and neither of us could help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

"I'm an idiot. Sorry Elrond. But you really should get some rest"

"You are not an idiot. I have been meaning to ask you, what exactly is an idiot?"

"Oh right. And idiot is someone who gets things wrong all the time and always manages to make a fool out of themselves"

"Well in that case. You are definitely not an idiot. You are a caring young woman who wishes nothing but to take care of people, and at this moment, I am your chosen victim"

I managed to get the reaction that I was wishing for, she laughed, the laugh of someone that at this moment was free of everything but her concern for somebody else.

"I guess I'll see you at dinner then"

She quickly embraced me and then disappeared out of the door.

I can't believe that I just did that. I have just tucked an elven lord into bed. What was I on today? I swear these elves need to check their mushroom supplier cos they're making me weird.

I stooped I my tracks when I heard the sound of a fanfare indicating the arrival of somebody of stature. 

I turned around and made my way to the yard. As I walked through the corridor I spotted Erestor.

"Erestor! Wait up"

He stood still and waited for me to reach him.

"Who's here?"

"King Thranduil and Queen Eloria have arrived early"

"OH"

"I have to go and meet them, I cannot find Elrond anywhere. Luckily Glorfindel was nearby and greeted them upon their arrival. I have to go, I will see you at dinner"

"Uh huh"

My mind whirled at speeds that I had never contemplated before. It was like suddenly discovering that there was a five o'clock in the morning- it was just wrong! 


	41. Reunion

Disclaimer- I own nothing!!!!

I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to get this chapter up- my computer broke- but I'm back!

A couple of people have said that Thalia seems like a bitch- is she? I don't know. I couldn't see any other way of doing it other than to kill her father.

Nimthoron- thank you so much, you're so nice

Lady Viola- lol- glad you liked it

Uhhh. . . . I have no name- they are not having a corgi- well they might- do they even have corgis in ME?

Merilia- thank you so much- your review fuelled this chapter

PrincesssaraSolo- thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying it. And thanks for your suggestion- as I've said- I can't find a good way to write the point of views. I write like this because…actually I have no idea why I write like this, but I like it. And I just had to mention Yoda, he's the cutest. 

To all those who reviewed. Thank you!!!!!! Love and hugs- but the next person to mention the words mary and sue in the same sentence is gonna get it.

~~~~~~~~

Thalia panicked, and without thinking, turned around and ran to her room.

The door slammed as she shut it, making Legolas frown.

He stood, dressed in a cream robe, watching the figure who had now secured herself in several blankets on the bed. And it did not look as if she was planning to come out at any time during the foreseeable future.

He sighed and made his way over to the bed. He battled with her as he tried to peel back the covers, but she was not letting go.

"No. please Legolas. Don't make me go"

"Thalia. You have no choice. You must come out"

"No"

"Thalia. Get up right now"

Sheepishly and somewhat embarrassed, she stood next to the bed. Her dress now wrinkled beyond decency and her hair stuck up in various directions.

Legolas rolled his eyes and pointed to the white dress that hung on the door of the wardrobe.

His hawk-like eyes followed her every movement as she dressed.

He smiled softly when she looked at herself in the mirror and grimaced. One look at Legolas told her that there was not way of getting out of it.

He had completely reverted to the prince that he had been brought up to be.

He stood, back straight and shoulders squared. His jaw was firmly set and his eyes narrowed.

If it wasn't for the fact that she knew that he loved her fully and unconditionally, she would have run from him.

Everybody was changing, she was beginning to see that real people behind the one sided view that she had had before.

Haldir, could not only be an understanding and sometimes very emotional elf. He was a warrior, hardened by hundreds of years of battle. He was a person of stamina and passionate extremes. He could be terrifying when he tried. What's worse is that he knew it. He could be reduced to tears, but if need be, the stony mask of indifference and arrogance covered his face in an instant. It was an element that she had not acknowledged before.

She was beginning to see that she had misjudged rather a lot of things.

Finally after much complaining and many more commands, the couple were on their way to greet their parents. 

Thalia's nerved were showing as she absentmindedly played with the folds in her dress, while her other hand played with the one ring that Legolas had put on his finger. It was a silver ring, engraved with a leaf and a bow surrounded by a crown, his personal symbol.

Legolas on the other hand, was ready to meet his parents with the correct protocol. He walked like a true prince, making the woman standing next to him seem very small and timid indeed. 

Her steps became smaller as they approached the yard. Legolas' hand tightened around hers, silently showing her that was there. 

One sideways glance at him, told Thalia that there was no getting out of this one, no matter how much she protested.

Her insides were churning and a headache had made it appearance. She felt her legs wobble slightly as they continued. The usually calming effect that the landscape had on her was for the moment gone and it seemed that she was faced with a barren wasteland. 

His look of indifference unsettled her. How could a person of such passion and conviction look so…blank?

"You shall learn to mask your feeling in time"

She furrowed her brow and looked at him in innocent confusion. It seemed that along with her usual inspiration, her thought process had deserted her as well. 

"What?"

He raised his eyebrow in a 'you should know' kind of way.

She shook her head in a distracted way,

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that"

He stopped suddenly at the top of the stairs, almost making her fall down them head first. Her graceful, elvish qualities had also left themselves in her room.

After straightening and making herself presentable, Thalia stood, looking as regal and beautiful as the elf by her side.

Thalia's nerves left her as her eyes met almost identical ones.  She kept her eyes on those of her mothers as she and Legolas descended down the stairs.

Elrond stood next to Thranduil as they both watched Thalia. Elrond was proud of her. She had become a lady fit for her new title. She walked head high and with no apology, but also without arrogance.

Legolas watched Thalia intensely as his mother and father greeted and assessed his beloved. He knew that they approved of her from the letters that he had received from them. He watched as his fathers eyes swept over her, a slight glance from his father filled him with relief. He was impressed. His mother was enthralled, she had taken Thalia into her arms as a mother would her child. The queen had always been less reserved than her husband. This was something that she hated about her son. Her son was calculating in almost every situation. He assessed everything to perfection. 

Thalia stood still as her mother stepped forward. All watched the scene unfold. The silence was deafening as both waited for the other to make the first move.

At the moment that her eyes had locked with her mothers, the guilt and self hatred that Thalia felt flooded her senses.

There was no going back. There was no saying 'sorry' and 'it'll be alright', not this time. She had royally fucked up. She had murdered a man.

Watching the emotions flicker through her mothers eyes twisted into her stomach like the cool metal of a knife. 

She was facing her mother with the knowledge that she had been the one who had caused her so much pain because of her own selfishness. If she hadn't killed herself, maybe her mother wouldn't be here, staring at her now. It was fast becoming unbearable. But now the stakes had been raised and she had to face her mother with blood on her hands. The red, staining her hands, the blood of two people. Both her family, it settled in to the creases of her skin. It confirmed what she knew about herself.

She was nothing but a cold-hearted bitch.

Thalia's head reeled as she felt her mother's arms wrap themselves around her. The old familiar scent engulfed her and she was nothing but a child again. Sat on the edge of her mum's bed, watching as the elegant woman put on her make up and sprayed on her perfume. She wanted to grow up to be that woman. To grow up like her mother.

Katlin Mathews was very much like her daughter in appearance. They shared the same hair and eye colour. Katlin was taller than her daughter and her figure was lean and lithe where her daughter had curves. She was dressed in the fashion of the elves, she did not look out of place. Her dark green dress complimented her eyes well. She looked younger than ever. 

Thalia's eyes swept over her mother, stopping at her ears, her pointed ears. Katlin laughed when she noticed her daughter's confusion.

"Now that is going to take some explaining. I would very much love to tell you over a cup of tea. It's been a long day"

Thalia shook her head in puzzlement at her mothers change in attitude and light-heartedness at the situation.       

They passed in silence through the corridors of the house. After introducing Katlin to everybody, she and her mother left them, deciding that it would be better to talk in private for the moment.

I watched my mother out of the corner of my eye. I must admit that I was a little wary of her, after last time I didn't want to take any chances. But this was definitely my mother. She was mum, the woman whom I had taken for granted all though my life. It was rare that I had remembered to say thank you for doing my washing or ironing. They say it's the little things that count, it is, but it's hard to remember the little things.

She turned her head and looked back at me. The same eyes that had watched me grow up, that had seen me in school plays, that critized my dress sense. The same eyes that had looked at me with unconditional love no matter what.

She smiled and a warm feeling spread through my body.

We reached the small and cosy parlour. Part of me was anxious but the other part of me was so excited.

She sat while I busied myself with making a cup of tea. She reminded me of the old Victorian portraits of ladies. Sat there with perfect posture, the sun shining from behind her, making her glow. She was beautiful.

I finally sat opposite. Nervously I drummed my fingernails on the side of my cup.

"Don't do that"

I looked up at her and laughed.

"Some things never change do they mum?"

As we laughed, the thin sheet of ice that had covered us was shattered.

"So. I want to know. You're an elf, how?"

She sighed and glanced at me before standing and gazing out at the waterfalls.

"You know that I was killed?"

"Yes"

"As I died, I was pulled into a sort of limbo. I was met by a goddess called Vana. She knew what you had been through and she knew of the trials that you would have to face. She gave me a choice. She could either send me back to your brother and sister, or I could come to Middle-Earth and find you. My selfishness drove me to come here. I know that your brother and sister are devastated by my death. But they are or were stronger than you. When I last saw you, you were nothing but a little mouse, barely speaking and afraid of everything. It was selfish, but I love you Thalia and I couldn't bear to leave you on you own. Do you understand?"

I had listened to her explanation, not quite believing it. So had Vana brought me here as well? That would make sense.

I rose from my seat and joined her at the window.

"I can't say that I fully understand what you're telling me. But I will say this. It is definitely good to have you here mum. I missed you"

She laughed softly and hugged me tightly.

"I promise that I will never leave you again"

"I Love you mum"

"And I you. More than you will ever know"

Suddenly I remember that I had to tell her about Adar. 

I walked back to the chairs and sat down on the couch next to her.

"Ok, mum. You know the tall blonde that met you when you got here. Well, that's Glorfindel, my new dad"

Well that was stelthy and gentle! I mentally hit myself over the head with something very heavy.

She looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when I got here I was a bit of a mess. But, with the help of some really good friends, I managed to get my head straightened. When I'd told them about dad, he was less than impressed. In fact he was seething, I swear at one point there was steam coming out of his ears. Anyway, he decided to adopt me as his own daughter. I am now Thalia- daughter of Glorfindel and beloved of Legolas prince of Mirkwood. What a title eh"

She laughed and smiled widely.

"I am glad. You have no idea how pleased I am Thalia. You deserve to be happy. Are you happy?"

"I am. I'm very happy"

"Good. Then that is all that I need. And you must remind me that I need to have a long talk with this Glorfindel, your new father. You know, I like that, you deserve to have a father that loves you"

I felt like Mary Poppins on a sugar high. She wasn't mad, this was definitely better than I had expected. That made me a little suspicious.

"Wait a minute. What the hell happened to you famous temper, why are you so chilled?"

She raised an eyebrow and mock glared at me. 

"Well, I figure that I've got a long time to hold a grudge, so I don't have to go shouting my head off.

She meant that, when she held a grudge, she held it well.

And so, after many trials and tribulations, I finally had everything that I wanted and needed.

Although, maybe I should stall her impending talk with Adar, no doubt they'd swap horror stories about me and they'd figure out something horrible to do to me. Ugh- it doesn't bear thinking about. 


	42. Solutions

Disclaimer- I own nothing- if you recognise it- it's not mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~

All was well in the last homely house. 

Yesterday had been strange. Thranduil and Eloria had spent the day with myself and Elrond while Legolas, Haldir and the twins had gone off on a well deserved hunting trip. They would be back tomorrow. 

Thalia had spent the day with her mother, rediscovering and re-building their relationship. I had spoken with Thalia last night, she had burst into my room after dinner and had proceeded to give me all of the details of her day, unfortunately, she had been far to excited to sleep. Therefore, we had both stayed awake and had used the quiet air of the night to talk. 

My stomach was churning. The sickly feeling in my stomach was increasing as I paced the floor of study. I was more nervous about my upcoming meeting with Katlin than I felt when I went into battle. And right now, facing orcs seemed somewhat more appealing. 

At this moment Imladris seemed claustrophobic. The house was buzzing with activity and nowhere was private. I had resigned myself to staying in my study, but the walls were threatening to close in on me and the glint of the blades on the wall seemed mocking of the absent sunlight. The papers on my desk needed my attention, but my mind was somewhere else. My daughter occupied my every thought at the moment. I know that Katlin would not contend my adoption, but I could not settle without hearing the words from her.

Thalia had given me a new purpose. For centuries I had listened to Elrond talk about his children and I had watched  them grow and mature from small elflings, the twins had become fine warriors and Arwen was a graceful lady, and a part of me had yearned for a family of my own. 

I stood watching the waterfall from my balcony, the silvery droplets slid down the curtain of water, the sun catching each and every drop. It reminded me of the blade of a sword, both deadly and beautiful.

A knock sounded on the thick wooden door. It slowly opened, revealing Katlin. I was as captured with her appearance as I had been yesterday. If I hadn't have know that she had been Edain, I would not have suspected anything she was beautiful and fit in perfectly among the elves. She had donned a pale lilac dress and stood, looking slightly nervous.

I smiled, hoping to put her at ease, it seemed that I did as she immediately relaxed. 

"My lady" I crossed the room and bowed low to her. She blushed, a lovely pink hue spreading on her cheeks.

"Please my lord, call me Katlin. It is rather disconcerting to be constantly addressed as something other than my name"

"As you wish Katlin. I only hope that you will return the favour and use my name. I agree with you, and after thousands of years of being addressed as 'my lord' it becomes irritating"

She smiled and fully relaxed.

"I must admit Glorfindel, that I am somewhat wary of your intentions. You must understand that after what my husband put Thalia through, I wish to make certain that she does not have to go though it again"

As she spoke, we made our way over to the chairs that had been situated next to the fire. As I sat opposite, I noticed that she had a long scar running across her neck. I ignored the burning heat that radiated from the flames and made its way up my legs. I lifted my gaze and locked my eyes with hers. She turned away and stared at the fire.

"I know, it's not the most attractive thing is it?" she tried to laugh but it came out as a heavy sigh. 

"He did it, a few years ago. I hadn't done what he'd asked me to do that day. I think it was washing or something. It was something pretty insignificant. But he always got angry rather fast. He was quicker than me, and I as made to leave the room to go and do what he wanted he grabbed me. He pushed me up against the wall, there was a mirror there, and it smashed against my chest, cutting my neck. It wasn't deep. I only needed a few stitched. But he said he was sorry"

I could feel my body begin to tense against my will at her words. She shifted slightly and looked back at me.

"But that doesn't matter now. I mean, he's dead, so he can't touch me. And I've forgotten it now"

She said her words with conviction but the far away look in her eyes said something else. She would not forget, like Thalia, she would carry it with her all her life. 

"Anyway, we're not here to talk about me are we? What about Thalia?"

I sighed and sat forward in my chair.

"I have taken her as my daughter. I do not wish to create any animosity between us. In truth, I do not see any reason for a rift between us."

She looked thoughtful, chewing on her bottom lip and her fingers idly playing with the sleeve of her dress. She looked at me, her brow furrowed.

"There is a home here for you and in time you will gain some of the most loyal friends and I am sure that in time you will become as much a part of our family here as Thalia has"

"I admit, that I am somewhat confused and overwhelmed. Leaving my two children has been hard, and I feel…in truth I am not quite sure what I feel. But I know what it is like to need a family around you. It's a nice feeling. To know that no matter what you are always protected and secure. You have my gratitude Glorfindel"

She looked me in the eyes before moving to the balcony to look out at the waterfall.

I stood and joined her. I silently marvelled at her beauty. She was intelligent and beautiful, qualities that are cherished in a woman. I know that asking her to take my name was a little selfish. But I was doing it as much for Thalia as well as for myself. I felt an immense need to protect this woman. She was not only the mother of my daughter. She had been her protector and her saviour when she needed someone. I had known Katlin for less than three days, but she felt like a kindred spirit. She was a feisty woman, that I had already discovered. She was as quick to praise as she was to anger. She was stern with Thalia. But Thalia did not complain. She simply did as she was asked. If they disagreed, they would discuss the problem.

"It's beautiful here"

"It is" I agreed. 

She turned as stood in front of me, there was strength in her gaze that could, if she chose, be quite intimidating.

"You are her mother and nobody can or would challenge that. You know this. I feel your anguish over your separation from your other children. I only wish to crate a stable family for her to grow within. I do not wish to cause you any discomfort or distress"

"Shut up Glorfindel" she laughed at me, stars dancing in her eyes.

I did not know what to think as I watched her pace on the stone floor. The light from the fire cast an elegant shadow on the wall. 

"Glorfindel. My lord…All I want is for my…our daughter, is for her to feel safe. I know that Legolas will look after her. But still, that is not enough. I fully understand what you are saying, and I believe that it would be foolish to dismiss and ignore. You have shown no wrong intent to anybody, as far as I know. I would very much like to get to know you a little better"

I do not know what came over me, but I stepped forward and embraced her. She relaxed in my arms and returned my embrace with vigour. She stepped back a smile gracing her features.

"Well, that was horribly…formal. I didn't mean it the way it sounded"

I couldn't help but laugh at her sheepish expression. 

"I will be extremely honoured to call you a friend Glorfindel. It means more to me than you know"

A feeling of warmth spread through me as I watched her. The resemblance between mother and daughter was astounding. I looked forward to spending many hours in her company. 

We spent many hours talking and getting to know each other. She was a forthright woman and her very presence demanded respect. She was a woman who was well versed in poetry and writings and she had strong views on the freedoms of others and she would not be persuaded otherwise, she held fast to her beliefs and I admired that.

The dusk had settled and we were still in the heat of a discussion when Thalia knocked on the door. 

She popped her head around the door childishly, an impish smile lit her face as she saw Katlin. We were sat on the floor in front of the still blazing fire drinking wine.

"Oh, sorry didn't mean to interrupt"

She said and went to leave. I called her back and she walked over to us, smiling.

"What?"

"Thalia" Katlin warned. Thalia rolled her eyes discretely.

"Sorry Adar. What can I do for you?"

Her polite words almost made me laugh, I made the mistake of looking at Katlin, who seemed to find it equally amusing.

"We have something to tell you" her eyes narrowed and she sat down on her heels. 

"Thalia, as you know. Your Adar wishes me to join the two of you here"

She looked suspiciously at the two. 

"I have accepted. I will stay here. And who knows, I might even stay when you move to Mirkwood"

She smiled widely, "Really. You're not kidding?"

She looked at me her eyes dancing. I shook my head and she launched herself at me. Her arms went around my neck tightly. Luckily she let go of me before it became painful, unfortunately, she was now hugging her mother with such strength that she was almost turning blue.

I leaned forward and pulled her onto the floor beside me. She looked like a child, her wide eyes and her smiling face.

Two of the occupants of the room were thinking about what a good opportunity it was for them. While one was thinking about playing matchmaker. Although- she would keep her mouth shut for a while- no point in rushing things.     


	43. In dreams

Disclaimer- I own nothing- If you recognise it- it's not mine!!!

Eowyn- you know I bet you'd be a great beta. I have to agree with you- my depressing stuff is definitely better than my so called light hearted stuff. Your reviews are always great to read- I always look forward to them.

Dragonsinger- one sitting?! Wow

Uhhh. . . . I have no name- no- no corgis! Lol

Thank you to everybody who reviewed!!!!! 

~~~~~~~~

I stood, watching the fierce waves of the sea roll across its calm surface, disturbing the peace. The moonlight caught the peaks of each wave as they hurried along toward the rocks.

The gentle fingers of the wind caressed my hair and made the skirt of my dress cling to my legs. I felt a breeze on shoulders and found that my dress was sleeveless and my shoulders and arms were exposed to the night. My scars stood out, little silver lines on porcelain skin. The physical tears of a story that I still do not understand. 

The scent of the sea drifted upwards and bathed in the air around. The cool grass soothed my bare feet as I stepped forward. 

I was stood on the cliffs of Dover. I had only been here a few times, but it brought back memories. My grandmother used to bring me here. She said that this was a place of moments. Not if's, or but's. It was a place where you could cast off your thoughts and live in the moment. At the time, I thought she was just being a crazy old lady and I paid little attention to her. Our last visit here was three days before she died. I was nineteen and she had insisted on coming, despite the fact that it was winter. 

But the sight was breathtaking. The brutal waves crashed, disquieting the peace. Even from this great height I could feel the spray as it was carried in the air. 

I could remember wishing for the courage to throw myself off the edge. To have the courage to just end it right there. 

Pain makes you selfish, you don't realise it, but it does. My Grandmother knew, somehow she knew. And she stood next to me, holding my hand in her small frail one. And we stood in silence, watching and listening to natures own temper tantrum.

I smiled as the memory came back, every last detail. There were times when I couldn't remember my grandmother. But she came back to me in my dreams. This was a dream, and I knew it. But I was content to live in the moment. I had finally understood those words. Live in the moment.

I felt strong arms slide around my waist and I was pulled into a firm chest.

I lifted my head and looked the azure eyes of the one man who meant everything to me.

And there we stood. In each others arms watching the waves.

After a time I turned around in the embrace. He lent down and tenderly pressed his lips to mine. There was no sexual undertone to the kiss, it was one of pure love. I smiled through it and slowly ran my tongue across his bottom lip. He chuckled and opened his mouth, allowing me to set the pace. We broke away and stood, holding hands, watching each other intently.

This was perfect. Being able to show him this place was just…well…perfect. This is the one place that meant so much to me and being able to share it with him gives me a feeling that I can't even begin to describe. My skin tingled every time his fingers touched a patch of exposed skin. I felt like I was going to explode with happiness, if such a thing is possible. It was like an itch that you couldn't scratch, I desperately wanted to move but my feet were anchored to the ground beneath me.

~

I was not within my own mind, that much I knew. 

My surroundings were unknown to me but yet still felt familiar. The grassy plain stretched out into the black of the night and the fierce waves of a sea could be seen from where I stood.

I looked down at my self. I was dressed in a long white robe that had been left untied, bearing my chest to the brisk air. The cool blades of the grass caressed my bare feet as I waked the ground.

I caught sight of a lone figure stood on the edge of the cliff in front of me. Thalia. She was dressed in a long white gown that hugged her curves, thin straps held the dress around her frame, showing her slender shoulders and arms. The skirt fluttered in the wind, wrapping the fabric around her legs, enhancing the enticing curves of her hips. Her long silver hair flew behind her like a ribbon of silk, catching the light of the full moon above us.

I stepped closer and smiled as I caught her scent on the wind.

She wasn't startled as I wrapped my arms around her waist, she simply lent back and accepted the embrace. The look in her eyes when she looked up at me told me that this place was of some significance to her.

I stood behind her, my cheek against her temple as each of us held our own thoughts. She turned in my embrace, her eyes watched me intently, as if she was memorising or searching for something. She smile softly and I could no longer hold my emotions at bay. I lent down and chastely pressed my lips to hers. She seemed to melt in my arms. I was pleasantly surprised when I felt her velvety tongue move along my bottom lip seductively as I had done to her so many times before. I answered her and heard her sigh as I pulled her to me, I stood, relishing the feeling of her soft body against mine. 

We broke away from each other and stood, holding each others hands and watching each other. She bit her lip as she studied my face. A small smile crept onto her now swollen lips as she thought about something. 

A great warmth filled me as I gazed upon her. I looked forward to holding her as my wife. I had yet to ask her of course. We both knew that we would marry. But the formalities had yet to be fulfilled.  

She cocked her head to one side and laughed. A musical sound that filled the air with happiness. She stepped forward back into my arms. My hands rested on the small of her back as her head rested on my shoulder. We seemed to meld together as one.

I had had the opportunity to do a lot of thinking over the past few weeks. I have often found myself thinking of our future. If we moved to Mirkwood she would be lonely. Although she would have duties of her own to attend to, she would no doubt find herself in need of some company and entertainment. I would make sure that I spent every spare moment with her. My duties would become a hindrance to our relationship, that much was obvious. But we would manage.  My plan was to persuade her to stay in Imladris for another year as was the original plan. But she had made it clear that she did not want to make my life difficult. It is true that life would be…different if we stayed in Imladris. But I would much prefer it. For various reasons. She is still delicate in mind and if she was to stay and build relationships with people and make herself comfortable, she would find things easier, as would I.  

I trailed my hands down her arms, the scars of the past making their searing mark on my fingertips as they went. The past was now just that. Each mark stood out on her pale, milky white skin. I felt no revulsion. I saw the story of a young girl who fought through her pain, despite there being many reasons to let go of life. Even now, she could still feel the pain, I felt it as vividly as she did and it surpassed all of my own feelings. She was a caring soul and it toughed me to know that even at this very moment her thoughts we not on herself. She was planning, I could feel her mood sober somewhat as the minutes went by. Planning was something that just a few weeks ago she would not have dared to do. A few weeks ago she could see no future; there was only a black void where perhaps a small possibility lay.

The feelings that I had stirred were not pleasant. In my mind I once again saw her pale tear stained face as she happened upon my discovery of her blade in the forest. It almost made me shiver. I saw the events of the past months go by swiftly. The feelings that it evoked were strong. There had been much anger and there had been many tears. They were emotional times. Although I had been trained to appear as stoic as possible, there were times when it was inappropriate. If it wasn't for the deep connection that had been aroused within me, I would not have shown my feelings. There was a time when I would have though it weak to cry, especially in front of a maiden. But the conversation that I had had with Glorfindel shortly after our arrival in Lorien, had caused me to reconsider and re-evaluate my opinions. Glorfindel was a greatly respected lord and his bravery was legend. I had grown up with tales of the golden-haired warrior. As an elfling I had spent much time around him, but I had seen him through the eyes of a child, and now, I was seeing him though the eyes of an adult. I now saw the man behind the tales, and was almost astounded to see that he was a real being. He felt, just as I did and instead of seeing weakness with the tears, he saw bravery. And it was that which had caused me to open my eyes.

The woman, who stood contently in my arms, was one of intrigue and seduction. As her confidence had grown, her true nature was revealed. She had a playful side to her that rarely came out, for she felt vulnerable when she revealed herself. The slightest glint which she held in her eyes was almost enough to send me over the edge. 

I felt her arms tighten and she stepped closer, making me laugh. She unintentionally laughed with me. She was distracted at the moment.

My eyes drifted over the waters to the dark sky above us. The stars were veiled this night. A hidden meaning perhaps? She was fond of the stars and it would seem unlikely that she had meant for them to hide. Her mind was full of many thoughts and it was obvious that she was under pressure from them. The arrival of her mother and my parents had meant that we had spent little time together. Usually we would sit and talk about our thoughts before we slept, but the exhaustion of our days has become too much and we have neglected our ritual. Perhaps it was something that should have taken priority. Even now she still wakes screaming, she does not realise it and I do not plan on telling her. Her dreams are her own and whatever terror she still faces, she has to face on her own. If she felt threatened she would have spoken with me, this I am certain of.

I was roused out of my musings as Thalia slipped out of our embrace.

I watched her hips sway as she walked to the edge of the cliff. Turning back, she held out her hand to me. I went to her and we stood side by side in silence once again.

"This is a place called Dover. It's on the coast of an island called England, where I used to live"

She paused, her eyes closing for a brief moment.

"My grandmother used to bring me here. This was the only place that I felt whole. While I was here nothing could get me. I was safe. My thoughts were my own, all the hurt and the guilt that I felt didn't mater. Watching the sea felt like freedom. I think it's beautiful. And I just wanted to show you"

I was honoured and strangely humbled, that she had chosen to bring me here.

She bowed her head and turned to me.

"I wanted to bring you here, because…well I can't come here in real life can I. You make me feel the way that this place made me feels. There are so many possibilities and so many years ahead of us."

My fingers touched her cool skin as I raised her chin to look at me. The fire that had been ignited was replaced with a love that went deeper than anything. My mother had told me that when I fell in love, I would fall and there would be no way out. All rationality would disappear and only that person would remain. 

I walked around her and embraced her from behind.

"You do not know what you do to me melamin. You have shown me so much. The past years without you seem somewhat empty with you. I am a warrior. I am trained to kill if the need arises. Yet the emotions that you stir within me go beyond even the strongest of emotions that I have ever felt in the midsts of battle"

I whispered to her. She shivered as my breath touched the sensitive tip of her ear.

As I spoke the stars emerged from beneath their dark blanket. I heard her sigh and she let her weight rest on me, trusting me to hold her.

This was the perfect opportunity. My hands travelled down her sides and came to rest on her hips for a moment.

Silky tendrils of hair caressed my face as I leaned forward and whispered in her ear…

"Will you marry me?" 

~

I felt my breath catch in my chest at his words. We both knew that we were planning to marry, but hearing him ask me felt completely different.  

I turned around and looked into his eyes. His stance was one of confidence, but I felt his nervousness as he waited for me to answer. I waited for a moment, trying to gather my feelings.

"Yes. I'll marry you" 

I said just as softly as he had asked. If he wasn't elven, he wouldn't have heard it.

Without warning he picked me up and spun me around. Finally, he put me down and pulling me to him, he kissed me. His warm, soft lips kissed bared his soul to me. There no hesitation and there was no barrier between the two of us. I was momentarily overwhelmed by the devotion and love that I felt from him.

Everything was finally clear. Everything was perfect. Even in dreams.

~~~~~

Thalia and Legolas' story continues in the sequel-

'Awakening'

The first chapter should be up tomorrow.

I want to say a huge thank you to all those who reviewed and stuck though this story. Love and hugs. I fully expect…well…hope that you'll come back and read the sequel.

~Miriellar


End file.
